Bare Necessities

Author:  Orrymain
Category:  Slash, Humor, Romance, Established Relationship
Pairing:  Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Rating:  PG-13
Season:  2
Spoilers:  None
Size:  20kb, ficlet
Written:  July 27-28,30, August 5,7, 2005  Revised for consistency:  January 20, 2007
Summary:  Jack and Daniel retreat to Mickey's park for some much-needed relaxation.
Disclaimer:  Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't.  A gal can dream though!
1) “The Bare Necessities” was written by Terry Gilkyson and appears in Disney's “The Jungle Book”
2) Sometimes, Jack and Daniel speak almost telepathically.  Their “silent” words to each other are indicated by asterisks instead of quotes, such as **Jack, we can't.**
3) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with ~ in front and behind them, such as ~Where am I?~
4) This fic stands alone, but it does reference my other fics, “The Need of Two”
5) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better:  Linda (who also provided the concept for this fic), QuinGem, Claudia, Tamara!

Bare Necessities
by Orrymain

//From the final moments of “The Need of Two”//
The two laughed and hurried upstairs where they shared their need for their nation of two.  It had been a tough few weeks, but for Jack and Daniel, their cup was running over with love, and their need to share that love physically was exploding inside them.

“Danny,” Jack said as their bodies calmed sometime later.  “How'd you like to go to the Bahamas?”

“Mmm ... nice and warm there,” Daniel acknowledged, letting out a happy sigh at the thought.

“We're going there soon, okay?”

“Why?” Daniel asked as he kissed Jack's sweat-soaked chest.  “I mean, I don't really need a reason, but ... why now?”

“Because I love you.”

“Oh, works for me,” Daniel chuckled.  “Um, Jack?”

“Yes, Love?”

“Let's go back to Disneyland like we talked about, okay?” Daniel questioned.

“You know how I feel about Mickey and the gang; you don't have to ask me twice,” Jack answered.

“It's just ...  I, no, we both need to be somewhere that's young and innocent for a little while, and that's the best place I know of for that.”

“Tell you what: let's plan a trip.  We'll start out with Mickey's place and then hit the beach in the Bahamas.  Hey, your still on the Doc's watchdog list.  This is an easy week coming up.  Maybe I can call Hammond and get us this week off.  I know you're behind in all the rock translations ...”  He paused, waiting for Daniel to complain, but when it didn't happen, he shrugged lightly and then continued on.  “But now's a good time.  It's not really a vacation; it's a ... rehab, therapy, even,” Jack offered, proud of himself for coming up with the idea.  “What do you think?”

“I think ... I think I ...”

~He likes it; gotta call Hammond before he remembers just how much work is sitting on his desk,~ Jack thought.  “I love you, Danny.”

“I love you, too, Jack, so much.”  Daniel raised his head and looked down into Jack's luscious chocolate brown eyes.  “So very much, Jack.”

“Forever and always, Danny.”
//End of Excerpt//

Approximately five weeks after SG-1 had first set foot on Shyla's planet,  Jack and Daniel made good on their promise to get away.  At Janet's urging, General Hammond had approved the urgent request for a 'rehab and therapy' downtime for both Jack and Daniel.

“Excited to see Mickey again, Danny?” Jack asked as the plane began its descent into Los Angeles International Airport.

“Mickey, yes, Goofy, no.  Remember, Jack, you promised.  No encores of what happened that time with Goofy!” Daniel reminded sternly.

“I remember,” Jack replied, looking away to hide his smile.  ~But I'm not promising, and I didn't promise.  I just said I couldn't imagine doing such a thing again, that's all.~

“Jack.”  Daniel stared warily at the smug expression his lover had.  “Jack!” Daniel said more forcefully.


“What are you planning?” Daniel asked suspiciously.

“Absolutely nothing, Daniel, except to have a good time.”

“Right,” Daniel responded in a long, drawn out tone.  ~He's up to something, or he will be.  Well, yes, he will be up, but that's not what I'm ... oh, gawd, not on the plane,~ Daniel thought, feeling his pants tighten around him.  ~Succotash, meetings with politicians, cold showers ... no, wait, we've ... oh, gawd!~

“Daniel, let's go,” Jack said when the plane had come to a stop, and the doors had been opened.

“In a ... minute, Jack,” Daniel said, his hands covering his mid-section as he continued to sit in his seat.

Jack turned and looked at Daniel in confusion before enlightenment dawned, causing a wicked expression to cross his face.  He leaned over and whispered seductively in his lover's ear.

“Problem there, Danny?”

Daniel glared, then adopted a fake innocent smile and shook his head.  In a few moments, when Daniel felt it was 'safe' to move, he motioned to his lover.

As the two stood to move into the aisle, Daniel pretended to stumble, crashing into Jack and giving his lover a surreptitious grope at the same time.  He grinned at the stifled moan he heard from the older man as his little massage had its intended effect.

“Paybacks are grand, Babe; I learned that from you,” Daniel whispered as he moved forward to exit the plane.


At the Disneyland Hotel, the lovers each registered, making sure that they had side-by-side rooms with a connecting door inside so that didn't have to worry about being seen going from room to room.

“Okay,” Jack said jovially, walking into Daniel's room.  “Ready to ...”

Daniel pounced on his lover, thereby ending the brief discussion of how their trip would begin.


For the next two days, the lovers played like children in the massive theme park. On this trip, Daniel hadn't even argued about wearing the mouse ears, even though some people did look at him with funny expressions.

~I don't care,~ Daniel had thought as he proudly wore Mickey's image on his head.  ~It makes Jack happy, and I'm ... well, here, I'm happy, too.~

This was their third and final day at the park, and it was extraordinarily hot.  They wore only shorts and sleeveless tee-shirts to help battle the heat.

It was also a special day at the Country Bear Jamboree portion of the park, with characters from it and other Disney movies present to mingle with guests throughout the amusement park.

In one corner of the Jamboree, critters began to sing a song from “The Jungle Book” called “Bare Necessities.”  Daniel watched as Jack clowned around with the fun-loving characters.

“Come on, Danny.  Get in the swing of things,” Jack said as he did a do-si-do with a tiger.

“I'll, uh, just,” Daniel said, noticing the large crowd that surrounded the impromptu performance.  ~Being watched because I'm wearing mouse ears is one thing, but no way am I going to fall on my butt and become the sideshow here.  Na-uh, no way!~

Jack jigged his way over to his lover, grabbing hold of his hold.

“Jack, let go of me.”

“Dance, Dannyboy, dance!” Jack urged, tugging Daniel into the middle of the animal critters, thereby giving the bashful archaeologist little choice but to move in rhythm as the music blared.

“Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature's recipes
That brings the bare necessities of life.”

Daniel tried to slip away a few times, but it was useless.  Between Jack and the various characters, he couldn't get away.  Finally, he just closed his eyes and pretended he was on a planet designated PDISNEY where, to maintain cultural relations, he had to partake in their odd customs, like that of dancing a jig with adults in bear's clothing.

“The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!”

~Thank goodness it's over,~ Daniel thought when he was finally freed.

“Come on, Love; that wasn't so bad, was it?”  Jack waited for a response.  “Was it?” he asked again.  “Daniel!”

“Paybacks, Jack,” Daniel said as he started to walk away.

“Hey, where are you going?” Jack called out, perplexed.

“Splash Mountain!”  Daniel glanced upward.  “It's hot, Jack!”  ~And I don't want to be caught up in another dance with a human in animal's clothing.~

Jack hurried to catch up with his lover, and then they made their way to the watery attraction.


Having waited in the huge line, the soulmates got into their log.

“You want the front?” Jack offered, waiting for Daniel's decision.

“No, that's okay.  I'll be right behind you,” Daniel replied.  ~I'm hot, but I don't want to walk around here drenched, either!~

Sure enough, when the biggest splash came, Daniel ducked low, using Jack as a shield.  When they exited the ride, Jack's tee and shorts were both completely soaked.

“I'm not hot anymore,” the older man quipped.  Soon, though, Jack found the wet clothing to be distracting.  “Danny, I'm going to try and wring these out.  Be right back.”

“Just make sure ...”  Jack disappeared inside the bathroom.  “... that no one's watching your ...”  Daniel looked around, ending his verbal communication.  ~It's mine!~

As he waited, Daniel saw the character of Baloo walking in his direction.  The happy-go-lucky character visited with some children who then went on their way.  Daniel let out a little snort and then a chuckle.  He stared at Baloo, and then his smile grew in proportion to the blossoming idea formulating in his brain.

~No, I ... I couldn't, but ... well, he did, and if he did, then ... well ...~  As Daniel struggled to make up his mind, Baloo passed by.  “Hey, uh, Baloo!”

The character stopped and turned around, looking for children that weren't there.  Instead, he saw a shaggy-haired man, half-soaked, either from the temperature or one of the water rides, he deduced.

“Um, Baloo,” Daniel said as he walked over to the critter.  “How would you like to make a little extra, uh, meat?”  Baloo's eyes widened, at least behind the mask.  “Here's the deal ...”


“Hey, Danny, this feels much be.....tter.”  As directed by Daniel, Baloo walked over and picked Jack up, throwing him over his shoulder.  Although Jack had seen him coming, something Daniel insisted on to make sure Jack didn't kill the man-in-bear's-clothing, the Special Ops colonel assumed Baloo would just walk past him.  “Hey!”

“Smile, Jack!” Daniel said, pulling out a disposable camera.

It was a great over-the-shoulder shot, Jack looking up with a frantic expression.

“Will you put me down?” Jack asked Baloo, who, underneath the bear's costume, was a tall, burly guy, fully capable of holding Jack and more over his shoulder for a period of time.

Instead, Baloo started singing, “Look for the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities; Forget about your worries and your strife ...”

Daniel laughed, “Having fun?” as he took more photos and advanced the film.

“No!  Let ... me ... go!” the frustrated colonel demanded

Jack began to struggle.  Baloo almost dropped him at one point and had to move his hands.  As Jack tried to push himself up out of Baloo's arms, Baloo's hands clutched Jack's red shorts.  The next thing they all knew, Jack's shorts and underwear were pulled down, revealing his six in all its glory.

“Oh, gawd!  PERFECT!” Daniel laughed boisterously at the sight he beheld.

“DANIEL!” Jack barked murderously.

“Got it!  Thanks, Baloo!” Daniel chirped happily.

Once on the ground, Jack adjusted his shorts and stared at Baloo, who just shrugged.  He looked at Daniel, who reached into his backpack and took out forty-dollars.  Jack was astounded, as was Baloo, since Daniel had only promised him twenty dollars.

“Believe me, Baloo, you earned it,” Daniel stated, unable to stop smiling at what had just occurred.

Whistling 'Bare Necessities', Baloo walked away, leaving a disgruntled Jack and a very-pleased-with-himself archaeologist.

“Daniel ...”

“Just admiring your, uh, bare necessities, Babe!”

“Give me that camera!” Jack demanded, making a move towards his lover.

“Not a chance in you-know-where!” Daniel said, backing away.


Daniel took off, running, shouting out, “Meet you at the hotel in an hour,” leaving his lover far behind.

“I'm going to kill him!”


Daniel's project took longer than he had expected, but he was sure it would be well worth the time and expense.  When he finally returned to the hotel almost two-and-a-hours later, he noticed Jack was in his room, sulking.  The door between their two rooms was slightly ajar.  Quietly, Daniel shut it and clicked the lock.

Hearing the sound, Jack sat up alertly.


Snickering, Daniel put a chair under the door for added protection and then continued with his plan.  He had paid big bucks for his surprise and was going to enjoy every moment of it.

“Danny, let me in!” Jack demanded, banging on the door

“In a few minutes, Cheekcakes,” Daniel smirked.

“Cheekcakes?” Jack asked in total disbelief.

“Stop banging on the door, Jack; you might get arrested.”

“I'll arrest you ... you ... you ...”  Jack grunted and began to pace in aggravation.  Minutes passed.  **Daniel!**

**Shhh!** came the response from the shaggy-haired man in the other room.

Finally, the door opened, and, carefully, Jack entered the room, looking for his lover.  Jack swallowed in both shock and embarrassment, and his eyes bulged as he beheld Daniel's new decor.

“Oh, for crying out loud!”

“The bare necessities of life will come to you; they'll come to you!” Daniel sang as he jumped up from behind a chair, holding a sixteen-by-twenty photo of Jack's derriere with Baloo.


“But I have so many.”  Daniel motioned towards the other part of the room, a smug expression on his face as he watched Jack's stunned look.  Daniel began to whistle the song some more.  He was glad he had gone to the trouble of learning the upbeat tune.  ~It just fits so ... so well,~ he thought as he switched to humming the first couple of lines from the song's second verse.

Then Daniel sang:

“The bees are buzzin' in the tree
To make some honey just for me
When you look under the rocks and plants
And take a glance at the fancy ants
Then maybe try a few.”

Around the room were prints, some close ups, some normal size, some distorted -- but all were of Jack's butt dangling in the air over Baloo.

~Why did I turn around?~ Jack thought, since Daniel had snapped the photo just as Jack had turned around, so that essentially, a screaming Jack, mouth open, teeth showing, was looking over his shoulder, almost right at the camera.  ~I'm going to kill him.~

Jack turned and glared daggers at Daniel who suddenly gulped.  Tossing down the photo, he ran out of the room, yelling back, “I HAVE OTHER COPIES!”

Jack closed his eyes as his embarrassed blood churned.  Within seconds of shutting the hotel door, he was chasing Daniel through the corridors of the hotel.


Down the stairs, up the elevators, outside to the pool, through the health spa they ran.  Daniel could outrun his lover on most any day, so he had fun taunting Jack, making sure the older man could just see him rounding a corner or disappearing through a doorway.

Once during the chase, when they were in the stairwell between the ninth and tenth floors.  Daniel stood at the ramp and wiggled his hips.  With perfect timing, he lowered his shorts and mooned his lover.

“Like *my* bare necessities, Love?”

Laughing, Daniel took off again, only what he didn't realize was that he had just given Jack an adrenaline rush.

Jack now had a goal he highly desired -- ~Gonna get me some of that!~

Daniel darted through a corridor, grateful the hallways were barren at the moment, but that's when it happened.  He had run into a dead end, due to construction.  He smiled weakly, seeing his lusting lover coming his way.

“Uh, Jack ...”

The archaeologist tried to make a move to slip by Jack, but the Special Ops colonel wasn't going to allow that.  He corralled his lover against a service door.  Both were breathing hard from their chase.

“Door...door's, uh, loc...locked,” Daniel stuttered.

Keeping Daniel pinned to the door, Jack pulled out his Swiss Army knife.

“Not anymore,” Jack gasped as he pushed it open, and the two fell inside.

Taking two seconds to secure the door as best he could, Jack then set his sights on the younger man.  The room was full of linens and cleaners, some on shelves and others in boxes.  Two laundry carts were inside, one empty, the other full of towels and the like.

“This, uh ... it, well, it's a ... a family  I mean, what ... what if ...”

Jack backed Daniel into the furthest corner of the room and began to devour him.  It was rough and hard, passionate and fiery, and so risky.  Still, the lovers dove in deeper as they went in for seconds, Jack surprising Daniel with a tube of lube that had been in his pocket.

~Glad I put on those jeans when I got back to our room,~ Jack thought as he rubbed a dab or two on his fingers.

Soon, the two were rocking their way to heaven, grunting from their efforts and moaning from the ecstasy of their actions.  It was perfect and complete for both.

Panting and still settling from the convulsions of their aftermath, Jack and Daniel jerked themselves straight when they heard voices and the doorknob moving.


Their hearts beating a mile a minute, Jack looked around.  Moving his head once, he shrugged and went the only place they could go -- inside the laundry cart.

Naked, holding onto their clothes, the two huddled together as the door opened.

The voices spoke in Spanish, one complaining that there was something wrong with the lock; another saying they were behind schedule and couldn't afford to worry about it.

**What if they want this cart?** Daniel asked silently.

**I resign, and you get fired.**

**Oh.  Thanks for clearing that up.**



“Gawd, Jack, that was too close,” Daniel said as he sank down onto the bed in his room.

The two had barely escaped detection in the small room.  Fortunately, the service staff had come in only to get a few linens.  The carts had remained untouched, so as soon as the cleaners departed, the lovers got out of the carts, dressed, and hurried back to their adjoining rooms.

Jack jumped onto the bed, turning to lay atop his youthful soulmate, and replied, “But it was fun!”

Daniel snorted, his snort turning into a full-blown laugh as he admitted, “Gawd, yessssss!”

Laughing, the two kissed, their tongues mingling as their hands wandered each other.

“Danny, about these pictures ...”

“Cost me a fortune, Jack, and I'm keeping them.”  Seeing Jack's murderous look again, he added, “Well, at least one of them, the five-by-seven.  We'll keep it with Goofy.”

Jack laughed, saying, “I love you, Danny.”

“I love you, too, so much, Jack.”


“Jack, where is it?” Daniel asked sharply.

The lovers were just about packed and ready to check out of the hotel.  Their next stop would be four days in the Bahamas, just relaxing on the beach.  The plan was to eat a leisurely lunch and then go to the airport, and they had plenty of time since their flight didn't leave for four hours.

The couple had destroyed all the enlargements of the 'Bare Necessities' photos except for the one Daniel insisted on keeping.  Only now, the photo was missing.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Jack feigned innocently.

“Right.”  Daniel glared.  He knew his lover had pulled a fast one.  “Not fair, Babe, and you know what they say.”

“What's that?” Jack asked as he took Daniel into his arms.

“Don't get mad, get even.”

“You do that, Love.  You just do that,” a confident Jack laughed as he moved in to kiss his lover again.

As the kiss grew in passion, Daniel thought, ~I will, Babe.  After all, I mailed myself three copies.~  A moan escaped from Daniel's throat.  How he loved his Jack.  ~Or was that four copies?~  As they kissed, Daniel's mind continued with its fun.  ~And I know you, O'Neill.  You probably think you're way ahead of mine.  Well, guess what, my darling colonel?  I have the negatives, two sets of them.  Gawd, gotta love today's technology.  Mailed a set to the apartment and to the SGC.~  “Mmmmm...”

Happily ensconced in the arms of his soulmate, Daniel knew that someday that photo would come in handy.  For what, he wasn't sure, but whenever it happened, for whatever it was for, he knew one thing -- it sure was going to be fun!  For now, though, there was a more pressing kind of fun the lovers were about to engage in.  After all, their bare necessities fit together like nothing else either man had ever known before.

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
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