Beagle Interlude

Author: Orrymain
Category: Slash, Humor, Drama, Romance, Established Relationship
Pairing:  Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Rating:  PG-13
Season:  7 - March 20, April 1, 2004
Spoilers:  Children of the Gods
Size:  48kb
Written:  October 1-3,13,15-16, 2003  Revised:  February 3, 2005, May 27,29, June 2-3, 2006  Revised for consistency:  March 7, 2007  Revised Again: December 20, 2007
Summary:  When Daniel worries about Bijou and Katie being in harm's way, Mr. Fix-it takes charge, which leads to a bit of sap and some engaging food fun.
1) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with ~ in front and behind them, such as ~Where am I?~
2) This fic stands alone, but it does reference my other fics, “Delusions of Love,” “Remember This Warning,” and “New Rules”
3) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better:  Mama Beast, Drdjlover, Brynn, Linda, Jodi, QuinGem, Claudia!

Beagle Interlude
by Orrymain

“Where's the calendar?” Jack asked as he walked onto the patio deck, a tone of wonder in his voice, though his eyes were full of mischief.

“Uh, it's ... in the study, where it is always is.  Why?” Daniel responded in confusion as he stood at the foot of the patio steps, his arms folded.

“I want to mark this date down.  Let it be known,” Jack declared buoyantly, his arms swinging around in grand style, “that on this date, Daniel Jackson is up and dressed at seven in the morning on his day off when he has absolutely nowhere to go or no reason for being up other than to be up.  I just don't believe it!”

Jack was laughing as he stepped down onto the grass and stood beside his lover. The duo watched Bijou and Katie, their two precious beagles whom they considered to be their children, play.  They chuckled as Bijou chased a squirrel that was running along the fence, while Katie happily worked on digging up a bone in her play yard.

“I guess miracles do happen,” Daniel mused, smiling as he acknowledged his unusual behavior.

Jack smiled, but then he grew more serious, sensing there was something else behind his lover suddenly becoming an early bird.  Though he was more than willing to cajole and tease the morning away, he knew that the first part of 2004 had been a bit of a nightmare for the newlyweds.  Daniel had not only been abducted and tortured, but then he'd been stalked by an old college acquaintance.

“Danny, are you okay?” Jack asked, needing to assure himself that there wasn't a problem facing the two that he wasn't aware of.  ~Just say you're okay, and I'll keep on teasing you.  After all, it's a beautiful fall morning.~

Daniel brushed against Jack's shoulder purposely with a taunting gesture and smiled as he looked at the man who was his heart.  He leaned to his left and kissed Jack on the cheek; then he tucked his arm inside his soulmate's while slipping his hand down, twining their fingers together.

“I'm fine, Jack.  Really.  I promise even.  It's just ... I'm worried about them,” Daniel admitted, motioning over toward the two active canines.

Inwardly, Jack sighed in acknowledgement.  He didn't want to admit it, but he had been a little worried about the beagles, too.  Though the girls had been a part of their lives for only six-and-a-half months, the bond between man and dog was deep.  Naturally protective, Bijou, the mama beagle, had taken to standing watch over Daniel whenever Jack wasn't home or she sensed he was sick or injured, and Katie, the runt of Bijou's litter, was always calmer when she was curled up on Jack's abdomen.

Unfortunately, both dogs had already been put in peril more than once by people trying to target the two men.  Bijou had injured a front paw while chasing a stalker, and Katie had received a cut from the abductors who had kidnapped Daniel.

While Jack had tried to assure Daniel that the unknown people going after him weren't interested in hurting animals, calling them 'small fries' in the view of the attackers, he'd hadn't counted on Bijou and Katie being such staunch protectors of their human parents and their country-style home.  He was certain that if their attackers returned, or anyone else ever threatened them, the dogs would be at risk.

Daniel had been concerned about the dogs' well-being since the day Jack had brought them home as a belated birthday present last September.  HIs lover, though, had done his best to convince him that the beagles would be safe, healthy, and happy.  The archaeologist prayed his soulmate was right, because from his very first glimpse of them, he had become emotionally attached to his very special presents.  It was love at first lick.

“Small fries, Daniel,” Jack reiterated quietly in his attempt to reassure his concerned husband.

“But they'll always protect us, Jack.  You know that,” Daniel pointed out a bit anxiously.

“Yeah, I know -- the little runts.”

Jack was smiling, proud of their children.  He loved those dogs every bit as much as Daniel did, and Daniel knew it; so did Bijou and Katie.

“I know we've done everything we can -- the lighting and the security system -- but I just wish there ... I don't know; it just seems like there should be something else we can do to try and keep them safe -- watch their six, like we do for each other,” Daniel sighed, pausing as he leaned his head against Jack's.  “I'm sorry.  I guess I'm a natural born worrier.”

Jack brought Daniel's hand to his mouth, kissed it, and then suggested, “Well, since we're up, why don't we take the girls for a walk around the neighborhood and let them run around the park for awhile?”

Daniel smiled as he agreed, “Okay.  I'll get their harnesses,” and then went back inside the house.

“Bij!  Katie!  The word is:  park!” Jack exclaimed, laughing as four ears were immediately raised and smiles graced both of their dogs' faces.  Their tails wagged fiercely as they ran over to Jack.  Bending down to sit on his haunches as he petted the precious pups, he suddenly wondered, ~Maybe; maybe there is more we can do.~


Later that afternoon, the colonel had spent a couple of hours on the computer, something that was unusual for him, and then he headed out to run some errands while his husband relaxed by poring through some archaeological publications.  On a whim, he decided to drop by the SGC for a few minutes, knowing his friend and teammate was on duty.

“Hey, Carter.  Having fun with your toys?” Jack asked his 2IC upon entering her lab.

~Toys?  Someday, Colonel,~ Sam groaned inwardly as she stopped working on the device that she hoped would enhance the readings returned by the UAV on its recon flights.  She answered, “Yes, Sir.  I didn't know you were going to be in today.”

“Yeah, well, I missed the place.”  Seeing the skeptical stare, Jack cocked his head and, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the end of the blonde's worktable, stated, “Actually, I have an idea that requires your expertise.”

“I'll be happy to help, if I can,” Sam responded.  ~I hope it's not another idea on how to have Homer Simpson yell at drivers who cut him off in traffic.~

Jack smiled, noting, “It's all in the name of love, Carter.”

“Yes, Sir,” Sam replied curiously.  ~Okay, not Homer -- I don't think.~

“This is classified,” Jack began.

“Classified?” Sam questioned with big eyes.

“As in, don't mention it to Daniel or anyone tomorrow when you're at the house,” Jack stated, referring to a barbecue he and Daniel were hosting the next day at their home.

“Not a problem, Sir.  I'm looking forward to your steaks,” Sam said.  Then she smirked, “I think I'm getting use to having them well, well, well ... well done.”

“Think cold and alone, Carter,” Jack threatened teasingly.  After a humorous pause, he elaborated, “It's about the girls, Bij and Katie.”

“I'm listening.”


Not quite two weeks later, Jack and Daniel had enjoyed a tender, romantic night of lovemaking.  They'd had another very long week, battling Osiris, while also moving Daniel's possessions from his apartment to a new home he'd bought, more as an investment than anything else.

Early this next morning, the colonel went to Mrs. Valissi's to pick up Bijou and Katie, who had spent the night at the home of the senior citizen.  The girls' night out had allowed the lovers to enjoy their romantic evening without having to worry about the beagles interfering with their 'you know', as Daniel still shyly referred to sex.

With the dogs back home, Jack proceeded to his next task and headed upstairs to wake his husband.  Inside their bedroom, he looked down in wonder at his sleeping lover, currently bathed in the early morning light that was filtering through the blinds that he'd cracked open just slightly.

“Geez, you're beautiful, Danny.”

The admiring colonel kissed Daniel's neck, smiling when his young lover moaned at the touch of his lips.

Daniel's smooth skin was so soft and inviting, his ear lobe begging for a nibble, being exposed where the covers were pulled down to just under his shoulders.

~Can't disappoint,~ Jack thought as he nibbled on the delectable ear before him and then placed several kisses on his soulmate's neck and cheeks before finally brushing his own lips against Daniel's soft, succulent lips.

Moaning contently, Daniel's hands moved to caress Jack's back, but suddenly his eyes opened.  He blinked several times as he stared at Jack and ran his hands along the older man's long-sleeved gray polyester shirt.

“You're already dressed,” Daniel sadly observed, pouting, prompting Jack to laugh heartily.

“Temporary state, I promise you,” Jack responded.

“Well, do something about that ... now,” Daniel lovingly ordered since his plans for the next hour didn't involve either of them being dressed.

“In a bit,” Jack replied.  “I want to show you something, Love.”

“Jack, I love you, but I have a feeling it's not even 9 a.m. yet, and if I move from this bed on our one full day off, *especially* after the last week, and it's before nine, you will be in so much trouble that you'd wish you were facing Ba'al and not me.”

“Threats!  Always with the threats,” Jack laughed.  He his Heart again, their tongues meeting for a quick dance.  “Come on, Love, rise and shine.”

“You're such a tease.”

“I'll make good on it later,” Jack promised, taking Daniel's hands and pulling his naked, oh-so-gorgeous body off the bed and into his arms.

“Bet I could change your mind,” Daniel teased.

“No doubt about it, my little tempter, but you'll like this ... a lot,” Jack promised.

“Nothing little about it, Jack,” Daniel contradicted with a knowing smile.

“Amen!” Jack teased.  “Trust me, Love, you're really going to enjoy this.”

Daniel gazed into the chocolate brown eyes he adored so much and asked, “Hmmm, you or the surprise?”

Grinning, the older man responded, “Both, but first the surprise.  Get dressed.”

“I didn't want to get dressed ... yet,” Daniel grumbled.

“Trust me, Danny; it'll be worth it,” Jack urged.

“It had better be, Jack!” the younger man warned, though he couldn't help but smile at the way his lover was looking at him.  ~Okay, after breakfast, then.~

“I'll put on the coffee,” Jack said, leaving Daniel to dress.

“Arab...” Daniel began.

“Arabian Mocha,” Jack spoke, stepping on his lover's words.  “Yes, Danny, I know.  After all these years, believe me, I know,” he laughed as he disappeared down the stairs.


“Okay, I'm dressed.  I'm awake, sort of.  This better not be some warped April Fools Day think, Jack.”

“Trust me,” Jack spoke, his mischievous looking face looking a bit too guilty for Daniel's taste.

“Okay, then.  Where's my surprise?” Daniel asked as he joined the other man in their kitchen.

“Here, have your coffee, Arabian Mocha as ordered, Sir,” Jack stated with an amused mocking tone and with a small smile on his face.

~Good.~  Daniel inhaled the fumes, his eyes closing, and his nose bristling at the aroma.  “Hmmm ... I love you,” the happy archaeologist crooned.

“Me or the coffee?” the older man mused, never sure which Daniel loved more -- coffee, chocolate, or him.  ~I'll just keep him supplied with plenty of all three,~ he determined silently.

“Mmmmm ... coffee,” Daniel teased.  He began to laugh, seeing his partner shaking his head.  He put the coffee down and went to Jack, who was rinsing a few dishes at the sink.  Daniel slid his arms around his husband, leaning his head against Jack's back.  “I love you best, Jack, always you.”

Daniel squeezed as hard as he could, prompting the older man to tease, “Hey, if you love me, don't kill me.”

“Now that's a thought,” the younger man chuckled as he pecked Jack on his nape, then pinched his right butt cheek.  As he moved away, he jested, “Just making sure you're awake, too, Babe.”

Jack grumbled, leering at Daniel who picked up his coffee and ambled leisurely into the living room where he slumped down onto the sofa, letting out a contented sigh.


Two minutes later, Jack entered the living room, pulled out a small box that was gift wrapped, and sat down next to Daniel, sticking the box on his lap.

“My present, I assume?” Daniel surmised as he looked down at the gift.

“That's my genius!”

Daniel put his cup on a coaster that sat on the coffee table and eagerly began to unwrap his gift, saying, “I love surprises, Jack.”

Jack chuckled, “I've figured that out.”

“Always knew you were a genius, too, Jack,” Daniel quipped as he pulled back the delicate tissue paper.  Seeing two leather collars in the box, he cautiously jested, “Jack, please tell me you haven't gotten into bondage?”

Daniel had a concerned look in his eyes, and the hesitation in his voice showed his fear that his lover might be suggesting something that Daniel had absolutely no desire to undertake.

“Geez, Danny, they're for the girls,” Jack explained, letting out a little sigh of disbelief at his lover's apparent assumption.

“Oh,” Daniel sighed, visibly relieved.

“Of course, if you'd like to experiment,” the older man teased.

With a glare, the archaeologist responded, “Only if you want to get a divorce.”

Jack cleared his throat, making a note to never mention that idea again.  Daniel's look and tone was definitely not receptive to that idea, not that Jack was interested in it, anyway.

“They're patriotic,” Daniel mused, studying the stars and stripes of the two collars he was examining.

“I couldn't make up my mind, Danny,” Jack confessed.  “They had these cool Hawaiian and animal prints, but the girls are dogs, not tigers and cheetahs, and I wasn't about to buy one of those snake things.  They had all this rhinestone stuff, too, all very prim, even elegant, in pale pinks and purples, but our girls are not wimps.  They aren't just beauty queens, and they've proved that, so I got them something that spoke of honor and respect.  They've earned that.”

Daniel chuckled slightly, running his slender fingers along the custom made leather collars that Jack had acquired for Bijou and Katie.

The collars were in the colors of the American flag.  There were two long red horizontal stripes with a lone white stripe in between the red.  The center or top portion of the collar was blue with white stars.

“You don't like them, do you?  I'm sorry, Danny.  I guess I should have gotten the candy stripe version, or maybe one of those floral things, but they just looked so average,” the older man lamented.

Daniel leaned over and kissed Jack on the cheek.  He was about to tell Jack that they were perfect, but then he felt something as his hands examined the collars.  He looked at Jack quizzically.

Jack winked, an acknowledgment that they weren't just the average collar.

“Jack, there's a ... a little bump here, on both of them,” Daniel observed as he continued to study the pieces carefully.  When he looked at his lover, he saw a huge grin on the other man's face.  “Jack?”


“GPS?” Daniel asked curiously.

The Special Ops colonel explained, “You said it yourself, Danny, that we needed to watch their six, just like we watch our own.  We've secured the house as best we can, and both of our vehicles have tracking now, so why not the girls, too?”

“They can do that?” a surprised Daniel inquired.

“For the general public, it's limited.  I searched the web and did some research.”  He paused for a moment, seeing his spouse's look of surprise at that revelation.  “Don't look so shocked,” Jack advised.  “I can surf!”

“I'm, uh, not shocked; just impressed,” the younger man admitted with a shy smile gracing his face, barely able to stifle his chuckle.

“I was motivated,” Jack softly explained.  “I'd do anything to ease your mind, Danny, and to protect our girls.”

“I know you would, Babe, and I love you for it.”  Daniel smiled tenderly, placed a quick kiss on his lover's succulent lips, and requested, “How, uh, do they work?”

Jack playfully caressed Daniel's cheek for a moment, his finger teasing the man's lips with brief touches, and then expounded, “They actually have these miniature devices for hunting dogs, but they have them attached to the harnesses.  I didn't want Bij and Katie to feel strapped in all the time, so a few minutes in Carter's clever hands and voila!”

“Sam did this?” Daniel asked, always impressed with their colleague's ability to make things work as needed.

“Yeah, makes me love her doohickeys.  She had to call in one of the electronic gurus for some assistance, but she got it done.  She's almost as amazing as you are.”  Jack gulped, seeing his husband's scolding gaze.  “Did I say almost, Love?  Didn't mean that.  She's way down on the evolutionary scale.  Her doohickeys can't compare to yours!”


“Yes, Love?” the colonel asked.

“I think maybe you'd better stop while you're still just behind and not in the doghouse,” Daniel said, his eyes on the verge of shifting from gazing to glaring.

Jack nodded and replied, “Good idea, but the point is, Carter got it done; finished it just before she took off for the Alpha Site.”

Daniel smiled, just happy that his own little bouts of jealousy were tiny ripples and not absolute lunacy like they were for Jack.

“Thank you, Jack.  They really are perfect, even if General Hammond will want to stand at attention every time the girls walk into the room.”

“I hadn't thought about that,” Jack laughed, putting his right arm around Daniel's shoulder and kissing his temple.  “With the girls microchipped, that gives us a little backup, too, just in case.”

“You know, Jack, you could have given this to me last night when I got home,” Daniel noted, his last sentence spoken at the same time he yawned.

“We were busy, remember?” Jack reminded, his eyes widening in memory of their romantic and passionate night together.

Daniel shyly chuckled, “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

“Thank you, Daniel, for that stunning review,” Jack spoke dryly.

Daniel chuckled again, turned to snuggle into his lover, still holding the new collars in his right hand, and replied, “Sap time, okay?”

“Sugary sweet sap or tree sticky sap?” the older man inquired as his hand rubbed softly against Daniel's waist.

“Keep that up, and it'll be none.”

Jack chuckled, “I consider myself warned,” and then placed a kiss on Daniel's silky hair.

Daniel began, “I know we've had a difficult year.  It's been hard, but you know something?  I'm still happier than ever before, and when we're like this, I feel safe ... at peace, even.  It sounds ... wimpish or ... I don't know, but it's how I feel, Jack, because I know ... never mind.”

“You know I'll kill anyone who hurts you,” Jack said seriously, without a hint of arrogance, bragging, or aggression in his voice.  ~It's just a fact,~ he thought, something that both knew was the solemn truth.

“And I'd do it for you, too,” Daniel reminded.  ~I have, and I would again.~

“And we'd both do it for the girls,” Jack added.  ~Not a doubt in my mind.~

“I'm glad you thought of the collars,” the archaeologist sighed, a wave of pleasure flowing through him, knowing the girls were now even more protected than they had been before.

Jack replied, “You were the inspiration.  Then again, you're my inspiration for everything.”

“You're such a sweet talker,” Daniel lovingly accused.

Jack quipped, “Have to be if I want to have my way with you.”

“You have to do better than that, Love.”

Jack lightheartedly responded, “Trust me. I've only just begun to sweep you off your feet.”  Noting that his husband had become quiet over the next minute or so, he finally asked, “What?”

Daniel tilted his head for a second, then queried, “Remember when Ra ... killed me ... and he wanted me to kill you?”

“Not exactly something I'd forget, Danny,” the older man answered.  ~One of those low points in life.~

“I remember walking down the temple steps, and seeing your face, watching me, wondering what was going to happen,” Daniel recalled sadly.

“I figured I was dead, all of us,” Jack admitted, the image of how he'd stood there, watching the geeky scientist head towards him, weapon in hand, now playing vividly in his mind.

“It almost seems like it wasn't even us,” Daniel commented.  ~Sometimes I wish it wasn't, but ...~

“It wasn't.  Geez, Danny, I was on a suicide mission, and you, you were just lost,” Jack interjected.

As he fidgeted with one of the dog collars, Daniel asked, “Jack, do you ever wonder what might have happened if I hadn't stayed on Abydos with Sha're?”

“Nope,” Jack answered quickly, but with certainty.


“We'd be here,” Jack opined.  “I don't know how exactly, but we would be.”

Daniel countered, “The Gate would have been buried.  How do you know, Jack?”

“Because I love you,” Jack answered, simplifying the whole scenario, even though it was actually anything but simple.

“That's your answer for everything,” the younger man mused.

“Why are you thinking about Ra?” Jack inquired more seriously.

“You said you wanted to sweep me off my feet, but you did that a very long time ago, on Abydos,” the archaeologist confided.  “I just didn't want to see it; didn't understand it.  I only knew there was something about you that I needed and wanted in my life.  I guess maybe that's revisionist history, isn't it?”

Jack thoughtfully responded, “I don't know, Danny.  We were both so different, and you had Sha're by the time we left.”

“And you had Sara,” Daniel replied.

“No, Sara had gone; I just didn't know it.  I loved her, though.  I just couldn't handle Charlie's death, and she suffered because of it,” Jack sadly bemoaned.

“So did you, Jack.  I don't mean to take anything away from Sara.  She's great,” Daniel opined, his voice clearly emanating his fondness for the blonde woman.  “It's just ... you suffered, too.”

“The amazing thing is that it's all worked out the way it was supposed to.  Sara and Mark are happy, and you and I are happy.  Perfect happy ending, at least, as much as possible,” the older man stated as the two shared a momentary gaze of appreciation for the joy they now shared in their lives.

Jack kissed Daniel's hair and brushed his chin against it.  They had as much of a happy ending as they could get.  It was marred only by the loss he knew they had both thought about -- Daniel's beautiful Sha're.  She had never really had a chance once she was taken by Apophis.

“Almost,” Daniel spoke.

Jack smirked, “What do you mean almost?”

Jack almost hadn't asked, but he knew from Daniel's tone he wasn't talking about his wife.

“Children,” the archaeologist responded in a small voice.  ~I can't believe how much I want them.~

“Our time is coming,” Jack promised.  ~That will really be something.  Danny will be the best father in the world.  Geez, he has so much to give a little ragamuffin.~

“Do you really believe it, Jack, that somehow, a few years from now, we'll be here, like this, watching all our kids, not just Bij and Katie?” Daniel asked, some doubt spreading across his face.


Daniel scooted around to face Jack, kissing him, and then intoning, “There's a reason for everything, Jack, even the nightmares of our lives.  I just wish we knew what those reasons were more often.”

“Maybe it's just to remind us how lucky we are to have each other, to know what it's like to be so much a part of another human being.  Maybe ... ah, maybe, Danny, it's just about cherishing life, and keeping that cup of ours full instead of empty,” Jack theorized.

“Pretty soon, Babe, you're going to be the linguist.”

“Never,” Jack said, making a funny face at the suggestion.  “You just bring out the poet in me.  I love you, Danny.”

“Love you, too, lots and lots and lots,” Daniel spoke, claiming another kiss.

“Let's give the girls their presents, and then I'm going to keep that promise,” Jack seductively said.

Daniel thought for a moment, then suggested, “Jack, let's take them for a walk.  They love it when we all go together.”

Jack laughed, “You do realize, Danny, that when we do get those human kids, you're going to look back on this precious time you're throwing away with regret?”

“Do you really think it's wasting time?” the younger man asked, concerned.

Jack groaned, “No, Angel, it's not.  Stop being so serious.”

“Okay,” Daniel responded as he stood up, walked into the kitchen.  He returned a minute later, yawning and with one hand casually behind his back.  ~I do love him, but ...~

“Geez, Love, I guess I could have waited and not gotten you out of bed so early,” Jack apologized.

“Hmm-mmm, yes, you could have, but, then again, Jack, that's what paybacks are about,” Daniel spoke.

“Paybacks?” Jack asked, having no clue what was about to happen.

“Paybacks, Babe, like this,” Daniel said, grinning.  He broke out in laughter as he emptied an entire spray can of whipped cream all over his unsuspecting lover.  “Got ya!”

“Daniel, you are *so* going to pay for this,” Jack threatened as he stood up.

“Make me, Jack.  Come on, Studmuffin, show me your stuff,” Daniel taunted, wiggling his hips as he prepared to evade his lover's grasp.

“A dare?  Are you daring me, Daniel?” Jack asked as he began to stalk his spouse.

Daniel began to back up, but he was smiling, definitely signaling that the dare was on.  He was surprised, though, when Jack walked right by him, just smiling as he entered the kitchen.

~What's he up to?~ Daniel wondered, unable to see what his lover was doing, but hearing the sound of the refrigerator door opening and closing.  ~Probably a beer.  Even in the morning, he loves those things.~  He continued to wait for Jack to reappear, wondering if perhaps he should consider a strategic retreat.  ~Nah, what fun would that be?~

“Okay, Genius,” Jack said menacingly, approaching Daniel again.  “Which hand?” he asked.  Both of his hands were hidden behind his back, waiting for Daniel's answer.  ~You haven't a clue, do you, Dannyboy?~

~You aren't getting the best of me, Fly Boy,~ Daniel thought as he grinned wickedly.  ~That would be too easy,~ he thought.  “Both,” he answered with certainty.  At the same time, he started to dash around the sofa, but he didn't get far since Jack reached out with his left hand to stop him.  ~Crap!~

Unfortunately, the momentum was too strong, and both men tumbled to the carpet.  Jack, however, made the most of the unexpected move, pouncing on his lover and sitting atop his midriff.

With his own evil grin fully in place, Jack took the bottle of Dove chocolate fudge he'd brought in from the kitchen, opened it, and said, “I *know* how much you love chocolate.”

Not hesitating any longer, Jack emptied the entire fourteen-and-a-half ounce bottle across Daniel's face, neck, and short-sleeve white shirt, being sure it ran through the open collar area where Daniel hadn't fastened the top three buttons.

“Oh, Jack,” Daniel said, cringing as he lifted up his head to look down at the dripping brown ice cream flavoring.

“I thought you loved chocolate,” Jack teased, leaning down to kiss Daniel's chocolate-covered mouth before withdrawing, secure in his victory.  He laughed loudly as he took the empty bottle with him to the kitchen, rinsing it out carefully and then tossing it into the proper recycle bin.  ~I got ya, Danny!~  He was confident that he had won the war.  ~Victory is sweet!~

So confident was Jack in his silent victory, that he never heard Daniel follow him into the kitchen and open the refrigerator yet again.  With perfect aim, the archaeologist lined his unsuspecting lover with mustard, squeezing the plastic bottle empty as he shot the yellow condiment all around Jack's face and all over his clothing.  He laughed loudly as the food topping dripped from Jack's face down to the tops of his shoes.  To even the score, he walked up to his shocked partner and tugged on his shirt.  With deliberate aim, he shot the mustard onto the hairy chest.

“That wasn't nice, Love,” Jack responded calmly.

“And your point is?” Daniel laughed.  ~That was so easy.~

“In your own words, paybacks,” Jack answered, gently pushing Daniel away from him and into a cabinet.

This time, Jack opened the freezer and came out with a pint of vanilla ice cream.

Daniel's eyes widened and he complained, “Jack, not the ice cream!”

Ice cream at the Jackson-O'Neill house was sacred.  It was their favorite dessert, except for Jack's apple pie, and it was something they could eat morning, noon, or night, and often did.

Jack cackled as he unbuttoned Daniel's shirt.

The younger man gaped in shock, finally pleading, “Jack, it's the ice cream; our dessert.”

The whines went unheeded as Jack's eyes were full of mischief.

Eating ice cream was the last thing on the older man's mind.  Well, that wasn't exactly true.  He figured he'd salvage some after the food fight was over by devouring his spouse's vanilla-clad body.

“Jack, it's ... cold,” Daniel moaned as Jack smeared ice cream all over Daniel's chest, and then seductively smoothed some over Daniel's lips.

Daniel opened his mouth, allowing his husband's fingers to slide inside.  Then he closed his mouth, his tongue licking against Jack's fingers, tasting both his husband and the ice cream.

“Mmmm,” Daniel sighed happily.

Jack shivered, removed his fingers, and leaned forward to kiss Daniel, both of them moaning from the contact.  Daniel kept the intense kiss going, but shoved the older man back to the other side of the small kitchen.

“Gotta love paybacks,” Daniel said, smacking his lips as he opened the refrigerator door without moving his body.

“Sometimes.”  Jack's gaze was on Daniel, his eyes locked onto him.  Then his eyes widened, and he whined, “Okay, Daniel, now that's not fair,” seeing what the younger man had lined up for their next 'course'.

“But, Jack, all's fair in love and war,” the younger man spoke playfully.  He  unsnapped and unzipped Jack's pants, even though he really didn't need to in order to accomplish his task, but they were headed that way, anyway.  ~So why not make some progress?~  He slid the three-quarters-full tin of apple cinnamon pie inside Jack's white boxers and pressed it against his shaft, causing Jack to moan as Daniel twisted the tin all around.  Removing the now-empty pan, he teased, “I know how much you love your pie, Jack.”

“You are so going to get it, Jackson,” the older man warned with evil eyes.

“O'Neill,” Daniel smirked.

“What?” Jack asked, thinking Daniel was going to ask him a question.

“Jackson-*O'Neill*,” Daniel teased.  “Get the name right, or I may have to change it.”

“Grrrrr,” Jack growled.

Seeing the murder in Jack's eyes, Daniel started to flee, but Jack grabbed him, and the free for-all was on, no holds barred.

Jack's next food volley were some fresh blueberries that he squished all over Daniel's abdomen, lifting up his shirt and then emptying some inside his soulmate's boxers.  Finally, just for good measure, he pressed Daniel's pants into the blueberries.

“Got it?” Jack spoke, amused by the entire situation.

~He's so gonna get it.~  As Daniel's eyes flared from the feeling, his mouth wide open in surprise, Jack grabbed some mayonnaise and squeezed a gob into his lover's mouth.  “Oh, ugh, yuck, ewww, Jack!” he protested, knocking Jack off of him.

Jack was going to exit the kitchen, but Daniel had a hold of his belt.  The archaeologist held on for dear life as he slid on the kitchen floor, barely reaching a jar of strawberry jam.  Opening it, he poured as much as he could onto his lover's silver-gray hair, smearing it down with his hands, and then emptying the jar in the older man's belly button and as a topping to the pie still inside Jack's pants.

Jack ripped off Daniel's shirt.  It had been a lost cause after the blueberries, the cream material now a purplish blue color.  He grabbed the peanut butter, a wicked grin on his face.

“Jaaaack,” Daniel laughed, though he had intended it to be a warning.

Jack used his fingers and dabbed peanut butter behind Daniel's ears, and then rubbed it across his chest, mixing it in with the hint of blueberries that still remained.  He proceeded to paint Daniel with the creamy substance until Daniel's torso was totally brown.

As the colonel smirked at his accomplishment, Daniel smiled shyly and pushed his husband away.  He reached into one of the cupboards.

When Jack saw what Daniel pulled out, panic spread across his face.  He tried to run out, but the strong younger man took hold of his belt.  The sudden change in force, however, caused both to end up on the floor.

“This is going to be fun,” Daniel hauntingly joked as he yanked opened Jack's shirt and pulled off his lover's pants.  “I've always said you were a marshmallow, Babe.”

Daniel snickered, and Jack groaned as the younger man squished an entire package of regular sized marshmallows against Jack's body.  He began with Jack's toes, pushing one puffy item between each digit.

~Too bad we're out of marshmallow cream; that would have really worked nicely,~ Daniel thought as he smeared several all along Jack's legs.  Next he took some and rubbed them erotically in with the apple pie against Jack's length. He finished the package off by pressing them against Jack's cheeks and neck.

“My marshmallow,” Daniel crooned, totally pleased with himself, taking the last piece into his mouth and then kissing his husband, the two of them sharing the final white squishy item.

“I have only just begun to fight, Doctor Jackson-O'Neill,” the older man advised, tickling his lover in that spot just above his belly button that was especially sensitive.

“Jaaaaaack, don't ... no ... no ... fair,” Daniel gasped.

Jack stopped, his fingers now a peanut buttery goo, as he went for his next 'weapon'.

Both were laughing wildly, the refrigerator almost completely emptied as they fought for food war dominance.

They continued to rip off what was left of each other's clothing, and by the time they were done, the kitchen floor and counters were a gooey, sticky mess, as were Jack and Daniel, both covered with an additional array of food and food stuffs that included relish, Rice Krispies, cranberry sauce, orange juice, taco sauce, strawberry yogurt, bacon bits, catsup, green grapes, cole slaw, plums, and chocolate pudding.

“You look like a Fruit of the Loom character,” Jack snorted at his lover, his last attack of plums having overtaken the brown of the peanut butter.

“Yeah, well you look like Lou did after he challenged Teal'c to a boxing match for the first time,” Daniel quipped about Lou Ferretti who had ended up black and blue from his over-confidence at defeating the Jaffa.

“Better that than underwear,” Jack mocked.

Daniel just grinned, reaching for the next chosen item.  He had a devilish grin on his face.

Jack was lying supine on the floor, unable to see the last item Daniel had selected.  Daniel was sitting on his naked spouse, preventing him from getting up.

“Say 'uncle', Jack,” Daniel ordered.  “Last chance to give up.”

“Never,” the colonel refuted.  “I never quit!”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely, positively, you geek,” Jack joked.  ~I'll get him yet,~ he vowed.

“Sticks and stones ... Honey Sweetums,” Daniel said as he dumped an entire bag of crushed ice onto Jack.

“Holy crap, Daniel,” Jack cried as he was doused with the freezing substance.  He desperately tried to squirm away, but was unsuccessful.  “You are so dead, Daniel,” he said with a shiver.  Then he lunged for his lover, who had finally gotten off of him and was backing away.  “I've got you now, my pretty,” he cackled, catching the archaeologist before he even got up off the floor and devouring his mouth.

The couple's messy bodies began to meld with each other as the kiss continued, their erections demanding attention.  As the heat flared within them, their eyes darkened with lust.  With an all-consuming passion, they licked and ate each other to completion, adding sweat to their post-coital stickiness.

“I love you so much,” Daniel intoned, lying totally satiated in Jack's arms.

Jack had ended up against the cold tile of the sloppy kitchen floor.  Both were exhausted and spent from their lovemaking, and both were deliriously happy.

“Geez, Danny, what you do to me,” Jack panted.

Daniel couldn't think very clearly, but a small part of him wished he had a nickel for every time Jack had spoken those seven words.  He was sure he'd be able to afford a new outfit.

“I don't think I can move,” Daniel commented.

“Me, either,” Jack acknowledged, so they didn't try, at least not for a few minutes until the cold floor began to bother the older man a little.  “Danny, let's go take a shower.”  He tilted his head slightly when there wasn't a response.  “Danny?” he called out again.

Jack sighed as he realized his lover had fallen asleep atop his body.

~Ah, Angel.  You can sleep on me anytime.  I'm not only used to it, I count on it.~  Jack let himself drift for a while, until suddenly, he felt a strange sensation against his body.  “Danny?” he called out softly.

Jack chuckled, realizing Bijou and Katie had begun to lick their favorite food items off the lovers.

“What are we?  Your dinner?”  the colonel chuckled, then waved them off.  The happy man continued to lay on the floor, amused at the beagle's appetite.  After a few more minutes, though, he grimaced slightly.  ~As much as I love being your pillow, Danny, this floor is cold and about as comfortable as the ramp in the gate room, especially with all this food all over us, not to mention on the floor.~

His mind made up, Jack gave Daniel a tender kiss on the head and then awoke his lover by moving him off of him.

“Jack, I was comfy,” Daniel whined as his eyes fluttered from the contact with the floor.  “And the floor is cold.”

Jack laughed as he stood up, extending his hand to pull Daniel up, and said, “Come on, it's shower time, and then back to bed.  It'll be plenty warm, I guarantee it.”

“Hmmm ... yes, definitely yes,” Daniel sighed in happy contemplation of both the shower and round two of their Sunday morning bliss.

As they walked up the stairs, leaving little footprint trails of chocolate and strawberry on their carpet that they'd have to deal with later, Daniel chuckled, “You get to clean the kitchen.”

“Me?  You're the one who pulled out the pie,” Jack refuted.

Daniel responded, “You didn't say 'uncle'.”

“You pasted the marshmallows all over me,” the older man whined.

“Yes, and I ate them all off of you, too.”

“Yeah, that was nice,” Jack had to admit.


“Exciting?” Jack questioned.

~Smart aleck.~  Daniel glared, but went in for the deal maker, pressing their bodies together as they entered the bathroom.  He whispered his love into Jack's ear and began nibbling on it.  “You're cleaning the kitchen floor, right?”

“Both of us,” Jack offered in compromise.

“You,” Daniel insisted, letting out a purposeful moan, indicating what was in Jack's immediate future once the discussion was done.

“No, both of us,” Jack fervently maintained.

“Fine,” Daniel agreed, pulling back and then leaving Jack alone in the bathroom.

~What?~  Jack rushed out, finding his husband Daniel opening a drawer. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you to take *your* shower so that I can take *my* shower ... *privately*, after which I will take a *nap* in the den *alone*,” Daniel answered.

Jack tugged Daniel into him and said sternly, “Withholding affection is a court-martialable offense, Doctor Jackson-O'Neill.”

“Is it now?”

“Yes, it is,” Jack confirmed, reclaiming his lover with such panache and a deep-rooted kiss that Daniel compliantly sank into his partner's arms, totally forgetting why he had left Jack alone in the bathroom in the first place.

“I'll clean the kitchen,” Jack suddenly acquiesced.  He added, “I love you, Danny,” the words spoken from his heart, melting Daniel's.

“I love you, too, Jack, so much, so darn much,” Daniel said, kissing Jack some more.

“Shower, and back to bed.  The kitchen will wait,” the older man stated. as he led his soulmate back to the bathroom.

“Jack, we forgot about the girls; their walk in the park,” the younger man suddenly recalled.

“Shower ... <kiss> ... bed ... <kiss> ... walk in the park ... <kiss> ...”

“Jack,” Daniel lightly reprimanded.

Quickly, Jack revised his plan, saying, “Okay, shower, walk in the park, and then bed.”

When Daniel smiled, Jack's heart lit up.  He loved that smile.  It was the most important thing in the world to him because it was that special smile of Daniel's, one meant only for him, one that conveyed the feeling and spirit of Daniel's soul. Right now, that smile radiated happiness.  Daniel was happy, and that meant Jack was happy.


Later that day, the lovers cleaned the kitchen together, though it took three times longer than it should have, the two laughing and remembering their food fight frequently.  In fact, they often stopped to reenact the best sexual innuendo portions, sans the actual food.  They also cleaned the rug on the stairs and behind the couch.

Then the happy couple placed the new dog collars on Bijou and Katie, tested the GPS device to make sure it was working properly, and took the dogs on another long walk and romp in the park.

As the sun began to set, the two were seated on the steps to the patio deck, their arms wrapped around each other, watching Bijou and Katie playing tug-a-war in the middle of the backyard.

“It was a perfect day, Jack,” Daniel intoned.

“That it was, but then again, every day with you is perfect, Danny.  Love you,” Jack crooned in response.

“Love you, too, more than ever, my Silver Fox,” Daniel spoke.  “I think one day I might love you so much that I'll just explode.  It just keeps growing, Jack.  How's that possible?”

“No idea,” Jack teased.  He smiled and kissed his soulmate before softly adding, “I never look a gift Daniel in the mouth.  Never.”  After another kiss, he suggested, “Let's go to bed, Danny.”

Daniel smiled in return and asked, “Wow, Jack.  Round four coming up?”

“Already 'up', Love,” Jack jested, prompting Daniel to laugh.

After yet another tender kiss, the younger man repeated, “The perfect day.”

“Absolutely perfect,” Jack echoed as they walked upstairs, about to end their perfect day in the perfect way, together, in each other's arms.

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
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