Bobbin' for Archaeologists

Author:  Orrymain
Category:  Slash, Humor, Drama, Romance, Holiday, Established Relationship
Pairing:  Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Rating:  PG-13
Season:  8 - October 31, 2004
Spoilers:  None
Size:  43kb, short story
Written:  October 10-12,14,16, 2009
Summary:  Jack takes Daniel to a Halloween party which results in one very crazy, but entertaining, evening.
Disclaimer:  Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't.  A gal can dream though!
1) Sometimes, Jack and Daniel speak almost telepathically.  Their “silent” words to each other are indicated by asterisks instead of quotes, such as **Jack, we can't.**
2) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with ~ in front and behind them, such as ~Where am I?~
3) This fic stands alone, but it does reference my other fic(s): Hide and Seek
4) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better:  Irina, Navi!

Bobbin' for Archaeologists
by Orrymain

“Jack, why do we have to go to this party?” Daniel asked, having a hard time with their plan to go to a Halloween party at Sergeant Siler's home.

“Because Siler asked and it'll be fun.”

“I don't even know where he lives,” Daniel sighed heavily, already dreading the trip and he wasn't even dressed yet.

“Then I'd better drive,” Jack teased.  Even on the other side of the room, he could feel the tension rolling off his Love.  “Danny.”  He walked over to his husband, turning him around to face him.  “It's just a party; a chance to blow off some steam.  What's the problem?”

“No problem,” Daniel responded as he looked downward, one of his shoes lightly scuffing the ground.

“Daniel,” Jack began, his right hand gently raising caressing his Love's chin and then pushing upward so the two could look into each other's eyes, “You loved dressing up and going to the children's shelter.”

“But we're not going to the shelter.”

“No, we're going to be with our friends.”

Daniel sighed, “I don't know what's wrong with me,” and broke away from his lover, finally settling down on Jack's side of the bed.

“You've got the Halloween blues,” Jack diagnosed, humming where he stood.

“Jack, what about when we have children?  We'll have to have parties, and I'm not sure I can do that.”

~Light bulb,~ Jack told himself as he joined his worrying life partner, sitting down on the edge of the bed so that they were facing each other.  “Angel, when we have kids, we'll do everything good parents should do, including making sure they have fun on Halloween and every other holiday out there.”

“I don't know what I'm supposed to do,” the archaeologist confided nervously.  “I ... well, I know what it's like with children now, at the shelter, but we've never done this.”

With a bright smile, the older man assured, “If Siler does it right, it's going to be like walking into a Goa'uld museum, lots of blood, guts, and gore.”

“Oh,” Daniel replied with a blink.

“Lots of bloody booze, gross food, and cobwebs,” Jack elaborated.

“And ... bobbing for apples?”

Jack laughed, “For you.”

“Not you?”

“I'll be bobbin' for you,” Jack explained, after which he leaned in for a fun connecting of his lips against Daniel's.

“Oh,” Daniel replied more lightly than before.  “Just make sure you don't ... bob me in front of anyone.”

Jack arched his eyebrows at the reply and just grinned.



“This must be the place,” Jack stated as he parked his truck.

“What made you think that?” Daniel intoned sarcastically.

The lovers shared a smile as they reached for their doors to exit the vehicle.  They'd reached Sergeant Siler's home in a reasonable amount of time, having made only one wrong turn.  The reason for their jesting over being in the right place was that Siler's house was completely decked out to look like an old mansion, and the haunting organ music could be heard from their position across the street where the truck was now parked.

“I hope he talked to his neighbors about this,” Jack mused about the noise, clicking the truck alarm to engage it while envisioning a visit from the police for disturbing the peace.  As the couple crossed the street, their walk slowly paused. “Okay, I'm not even gonna ask him where he got that.”

~Me, either.~ Daniel agreed, though he said nothing verbally, his eyes locked onto the very real-looking coffin.  “I hope no one's in it,” he quipped as he started towards the door.

The door had a sign on it that said, “Enter if your dare” and was already slightly ajar.  As Jack pushed it back, it creaked.  When he stepped into the living room, a bright light focused on him.

“I give up!” Jack called out, holding up his hands.

“You only need to give up your keys, Sir,” Siler greeted, holding up a basket that was already full of keys from guests who had already arrived.

Looking the sergeant up and down, Jack commented, “Original.”

“Thank you, Colonel,” Siler responded, his face stoic, however.

The sergeant was dressed as a wrench, something he almost always had with him when at work at Cheyenne Mountain.  In fact, it had become a big joke and a lot of pranks had been done over the years involving Siler and his monkey wrench.

“Very nice,” Daniel praised politely.

“Make it yourself?” the colonel questioned curiously.

“Major Carter helped me,” Siler responded, causing both Jack and Daniel to stare at each other and then shrug.

~Do I want to know?  Somehow Carter sewing just does not work in my mind,~ Jack thought.  ~Nah, she doesn't sew.  She'd do something body forming and ...~

“Jack,” Daniel prompted since his Love hadn't moved and seemed to be staring off into space.

With an inexplicable smile as he concluded his thoughts about Sam and Siler, the colonel exclaimed, “It's time to party!” while letting his keys drop into the basket. “Where's the beer?”

Daniel rolled his eyes as he, too, added his keys to the basket.

“Great outfit, Doctor Jackson,” Siler praised.  “Did you ride a hog?”

“Ah, thanks,” Daniel responded.  “Hog?” he questioned, his eyes moving to the right as he contemplated the thought of riding something like a Harley Davidson motorcycle.  It just wasn't his style.  Then again, neither was his outfit.  “No, no, no hog,” he answered.  “I'm just gonna ...” he began, motioning towards the living room and walking away without finishing his sentence, not really wanting to contemplate a hog or even his attire.

Not having purchased an authentic Halloween costume, the archaeologist had put on the crazy biker outfit he'd purchased in San Francisco several years ago.  This meant he was wearing a lot of extremely tight leather, mainly because he'd bulked up quite a bit in the ensuing years and his entire body was bigger now, resulting in some bulging here and there.  He was just praying nothing ripped, especially not in the important areas.

While he didn't dye his hair or spike it extensively as he'd done in the California city, Daniel did make one clump of hair spike towards the front.  He wore the choker, but not the earring which had a more personal connotation to it and therefore wasn't appropriate for this event.  All in all, he looked pretty hot and it was definitely a far cry from his normal appearance.

~Trying to fit into this thing again was worth seeing Jack's expression when I came out of the bathroom.  I thought for sure we would have ... you know, detoured for the night,~ Daniel opined silently, walking into the fray of the party and not sure if he was happy or unhappy that they hadn't at least been late for the Halloween gathering.

**It was a close call, Love; it took a lot of will power.  I have plans for you and your leathers tonight,** came the laughing reply from just a few feet away.


**Takes one to know one,** Jack returned playfully.

The interior of Siler's house was totally revamped to look as eerie and spooky as possible.  It was lit mostly by candlelight with flickering lights of orange and black wrapped around the windows.  Of course, the haunting organ music was even louder and creepier inside.

The ghoulish decor included stuffed bodies, bludgeoned with catsup blood and icy blue faces on beds, in corners, and one hanging in the hallway.  Cobwebs filled most of the house, which helped to steer the guests out back where the crux of the party was happening.

The guests were chiefly SGC personnel and their significant others, which created some jokes when Siler admitted that his own wife was out of town visiting her sister.  Since no one could recollect having ever met the woman, there was a lot of teasing about whether or not she really existed.

The backyard had its own ghoulish style, with foggy mist circulating at everyone's feet.  There were sections set up that would be part of the party festivities.  All of the beverages and foods were done in a Halloween tone as well.

The costumes ran the gamut with Sam finally dressing up as Dorothy Gale of The Wizard of Oz, something she'd been forced into doing after losing a bet with Jack.

“Look at Dorothy,” Jack chuckled as he sipped on his Vampire Kiss brew.  ~Don't think I've ever had beer in a cocktail glass before,~ he mused as he stared at his bloody glass, which was really a mixture of corn syrup and sugar colored with red dye.

“You really should tell Sam that you cheated.”

“I did *not* cheat,” was Jack's indignant reply.

“Maybe not technically, but you planned that spontaneous bet three weeks in advance,” Daniel reminded.

With a smug grin, Jack admitted, “Yeah.”

“Which gave you time to read all of her reports,” Daniel stated.

“And they were so fascinating.”

“Jack, you haven't read one of Sam's reports in ... years.”

“Yeah,” Jack agreed, breaking out into a full fledged laugh.

“So when you bet her that you could quote her ...”

“... technobabble is the correct term, I believe,” Jack interrupted.

“Technobabble,” Daniel agreed.  “She had no idea you'd been studying her reports, which is totally out of character for you.”

“She should have seen it coming,” Jack asserted.  “Let's go say hello.”

As Jack walked away, Daniel shook his head while recalling the bet.  Masterfully, Jack had managed to steer that conversation so that Sam confidently challenged her CO to cite back to her just one technical thing that she'd written in the past two months.  Pleased as punch, Jack had quoted her report from two missions back, stunning the blonde and ultimately resulting in her pig-tailed appearance tonight while wearing a blue jumper over a white, puffy sleeve blouse.  She was even carrying a wicker basket that had a miniature stuffed dog that resembled Toto.


“Who are you voting for?” Jack asked his lover a bit later on, joining the younger man next to one of the snack food areas.

“It's a secret ballot,” Daniel reminded, shielding his costume ballot from the prying eyes of his colonel.

Best Costume prizes were being awarded for the most lady-like aka: the prettiest, the most dude-like aka: the handsomest, the most original, ugliest, scariest, silliest, and the best overall.  Winners would receive their choice of a bottle of Vampire Wine, a six-pack of Goblin Beer, or a box of Devil's Chocolate.

“Fraiser's the funniest,” Jack asserted strongly, still trying to sneak a peak at his archaeologist's ballot.  “And that one isn't my fault.”

Daniel looked pensively over at Janet Fraiser while commenting, “Only if you've been stuck in the butt by her.”

Indeed, Little Napoleon, as Janet was often referred to, had come dressed as a giant needle, wearing a slick form-fitting, silver-colored body suit that was completely encased by pliable plastic.  Her headdress completed the outfit.  It featured a two-foot-high metallic needle that had SG team members cringing from just looking at it.  Not only that, but many feared that the petite physician might topple over from the large homemade needle and stick them in places where they just didn't want to be stuck.

“Okay, so who do you think is the funniest?”

“Secret ballot, remember?” Daniel answered, still covering his ballot.

“Daniel ...”

“Here, have an eyeball,” Daniel suggested, grabbing a green-colored, olive-topped deviled egg, semi-forcing it into Jack's mouth, and then walking away to continue making his costume choices.

“Dan...mmm, good eyes.”


~He's not really going to do this.~  Daniel couldn't believe his eyes.  It was beyond childish.  Was Jack really going through with this insane stunt?  ~Apparently, he is.~

Worse, what the older man was about to do, he wasn't going to be doing alone.

“Drop 'em!” Jack quietly commanded the other two who were participating in this go around.

With the colonel were Lou Ferretti and Casey Hemmings.  Hearing Jack's order, the two immediately dropped their pants and stuck their naked derrieres through pre-cut holes in a large board.  Whoops and hollers went out from the other side, and the scary thing was that not all of them were females.  Of course, to Casey, that was a good thing, since he was homosexual.  One of the loudest voices was actually Siler himself, and that was disturbing to Jack.

“Whoooooooa-kay,” Jack called out when he felt the cream pie smack into his behind.  ~Okay, that has possibilities.  Chocolate cream for Danny, I think.~


“Watch out, Bo Peep,” Jack warned.  “Serious scarecrow makers coming through.”

“Just watch the bustle,” the sergeant warned.

Jack took a closer look and asked dubiously, “Walter, is that you?”  He laughed, realizing he was right.  “Little Bo Peep?”

“I lost a bet with Major Carter,” the sergeant lamented.

“A bet?”

“I bet her that you'd win the bet she made with you,” Davis reported.

Perplexed, Jack responded, “I did win.”

“Wh...what?” Davis shouted.  He lifted the hoop of his skirt so he could walk and shouted out as he searched for the blonde, “Major Carter, I bet you think this is funny!”

“I'm guessing she does, and so do I,” Jack snickered at his 2IC's wicked sense of humor.

With Sam hiding from the sergeant at the moment, several of the other guests prepared to compete for the title of Scariest Scarecrow Makers.  The party-goers were put on teams of five.

After Count Dracula's count of “I vant to drink your blood,” the teams began to scurry through a tabletop full of clothes, hats, pillowcases, string, markers, newspapers, and other assorted items and accessories.  Each team had been given a broom with which to build their scarecrow, as well as a limited amount of feather stuffing.  The completion of their product was dependent on how much they could grab off the table to build, stuff, and create their Halloween figure.

Count Dracula, better known as Casey Hemmings, was serving as the judge and would award the prize, which was a DVD for each team member.  Each member of the winning group would get to select one of five classic monster movies from the cauldron.

“That's mine!” Janet insisted, tugging on the orange neckerchief.

“First come, first serve, Doc,” Jack returned, yanking on the item as Janet continued to tug as well.

“That's what you think, you brute!”

Jack fell backwards when Janet yanked the much-sought after item out of his hands.  She grinned down at him victoriously and cackled for several seconds.

“You're no match for someone who is a master of Black Friday and four-hour sales,” Janet proclaimed proudly before turning around and leaving Jack still on the ground.

Daniel approached a second later and leaned down, looking over his sprawled out husband.  He dangled a short, black handkerchief in front of Jack.

“Here, you can have this,” the younger man offered, laughing as he dropped the item on his soulmate's chest and then returned to the table.  After he added what he thought was the perfect last detail to their creation, he asked, “Janet, how's this?”


Resting on his elbows, Jack stared up at the fast-paced action, thinking he'd never seen anything like it in his entire life.  Even so, he just had one question on his mind.

~How did Daniel happen to land on the other team -- again?~

Getting up, the annoyed colonel decided to have a drink before returning to the task of building the scariest scarecrow.  He ambled his way over to one of the food and drink tables while still sulking about his loss of neckerchief.  He looked down at the Rotting Swamp Punch, labeled as 'a mixture of lemonade, limeade, lemon lime soda, lime sherbet, and a kicker'.  A severed red hand floated amid the foamy green concoction.

Jack followed the hand as it moved, nearly making himself dizzy as his eyes watched the swirling motion.  Then he reached for a beaker, Siler's idea of fun Halloween glasses, and filled it.  Taking a sip, his head snapped back.

“Now that's a drink!”

There was definitely more to this sherbet punch than soda and lemonade.  By Jack's estimation, it also included large amounts of rum and vodka.  It was now very clear why Siler had collected the keys as guests had arrived.  In fact, he'd hidden them to prevent anyone from leaving before he could ensure that they were not intoxicated.  As a responsible host, Siler wanted to be confident that his friends and co-workers had a safe trip home, should they have imbibed too much.

Smiling, Jack was prepared to enjoy his beaker when he heard the ten-minute warning.  He knew he had to forego his drink or down it in a hurry in order to get back to work.  His team had been yelling at him for the last two minutes as it was.

“Down the hatch,” the happy man toasted before drinking the entire beaker in one, long gulp.  “Whoa!”

A bit wobbly, but feeling oh-so-fine, the colonel returned to his team to finish the contest.


“Yessireebob, yes!” a jovial Jack exclaimed after his pumpkin knocked over nine ghosts.  He turned and swayed a bit over to Teal'c and, tapping his finger against the Jaffa's chest, challenged, “Beat that, big dude.”

A stoic Teal'c stared at his somewhat inebriated commanding officer as Jack grinned and walked over to his chair, missing it as he fell down onto the grass.

“Hey! What happened to my chair?”

“It's behind you, Sir,” Sam pointed out, laughing at the colonel's antics.

Looking behind him, Jack questioned with an amused chuckle, “How'd that happen?”

“I think it was that last beaker of Blood Punch,” Daniel answered, referring to Siler's Halloween cocktail which consisted of the traditional Bloody Mary mix, tomato and orange juices, and just a dash of Old Bay.

“That's there,” Jack responded.  ~Nope.  Wrong.~  He smiled and corrected, “There's that.”

Just as Jack refocused on the current game of Pumpkin Bowling, Teal'c took his pumpkin ball and stared intently at the full rack of ghosts.  The ghosts were really two-liter soda bottles, spray painted white and then given eyes and mouths with a big, black marker.  Sand was inside to keep the bottles upright until struck by a pumpkin.

With surprising agility and accuracy, Teal'c bowled a strike, powerfully knocking down all ten of the bottles.  Daniel snickered and the others on his team laughed while cheering and praising the Jaffa.

Confidently, Teal'c walked to Jack's position and stared down at him, saying, “I believe I have met your challenge, O'Neill.”

“Show off,” Jack responded.  He looked over at his lover and asked, “Why are you so happy about Teal'c's strike?”

“I'm on his team, remember?” Daniel explained with a grin.

“I knew that,” Jack returned defensively as he waited for the game to continue.  “It's the costume.”

“What?” Daniel asked.

“He's dressed like Uncle Sam,” Jack stated.  “What ghost do you know who is gonna let Sam Uncle lose a game of lumkin bowling?”

“That's Uncle Sam, Jack, not Sam Uncle, and it's pumpkin bowling, not lumkin bowling,” Daniel corrected, somewhat amused by his love's current situation.  ~I shouldn't be, but I am.~  He giggled, stopping himself before anyone could hear.  ~I think that's because I'm a little bit, uh, yeah, you know, uh, tipsy, too.~


Once again divided into teams, the merry Halloween guests were preparing to play Candy Corn Catch.  In this game, players tossed candy corn into plastic pumpkins tied around another team member's waist.  While that person was able to move about and try to capture the yellow, orange, and white candies, the throwers couldn't step over the throw line.

“Oh, yeah, that feels good,” Jack crooned as his hips did a seductive circling motion.  He smiled at Sam and opined, “This game has possibilities.”

From across the grass, Daniel coughed.  He was just tipsy enough that he wasn't fond of his lover dallying with a lovely blonde woman, especially when that lovely blonde woman was Sam.  It was bringing back some nasty memories of the game they used to play routinely at the SGC, a game that they actually still had to play publicly from time to time.

~I am tipsy if I'm getting jealous.  I never get jealous,~ Daniel said to himself.  ~Well, I never admit that I get jealous, not out loud anyway.  Okay, so I usually don't admit it to myself, either.  It's just that I detest that whole green-eyed monster thing.  It's an ugly trait, and ...~  He glared at Jack and, seeing his Love's face a little too close to Sam's, forcefully tossed a handful of candy corns in his direction.  “Sorry.  They slipped.”

Jack's grin was unmistakable.  There was no doubt in his mind that his Danny was jealous, and that made him feel good.

“No problem,” the colonel replied, plucking candy corns off his costume.

~Okay, okay, okay,~ Daniel admitted in frustration.  ~I'm freakin' jealous, so what about it?  Just get over yourself, Jackson.~

When the game began, Jack was having a blast, shaking his booty to try and catch the multitude of candy corn being tossed towards his mid-section.  Of course, every now and then he had to dodge an errant throw by his archaeologist.

“Sorry, bad aim,” Daniel apologized each and every time, his slightly muted smirk not doing a very good job of hiding his purposeful miss-throws.


“Time to be fearless,” Jack suggested.

“You be fearless.  I'll watch,” Daniel responded, clearly not intending to move from his spot.

“Ah, c'mon, Fanny.”

As Daniel's eyes widened, Jack just stared.  He had a hunch he was in trouble, but he didn't know why.

“What?” Jack asked.

“You just called me Fanny.”

“Fanny?” the colonel echoed.

“Fanny,” Daniel affirmed, his arms folded across his chest.

Jack laughed and refuted, “No, I didn't.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Did not.”

“Did so,” Daniel insisted.



“Fanny?  Why would I call you Fanny, Danny?” Jack asked.

The sound of the rhyme was too much and the plastered colonel burst into hysterics.

Daniel let out a sound and left his laughing lover to get some sugar finger cookies.  They looked disgusting, especially with the almond slivers tacked on to look like fingernails, but they tasted great.


“I'm sorry, Danny,” Jack apologized a few minutes later.  “It's just I'm ...”

“... drunk,” both men acknowledged at the same time.

Jack grinned sappily and then reiterated his prior suggestion, saying, “Let's be fearless.”

“Jack, who knows what those games are going to be like.  I don't trust Siler,” the archaeologist confided quietly.

“It'll be fun,” the colonel maintained, motioning for Daniel to follow.  “Come on, Danny.  Don't be a wet rag.”

“Right,” Daniel sighed, reluctantly following his lover to the fear corner of the yard.

The fear corner had several individual sections to it.  The idea was to complete one fear test and then advance to the next one.  Each fear test was harder or perhaps creepier than the preceding ones.  Anyone who completed all five fear sections received a package of Halloween candy to take home.  The person who made it through in the quickest time also received a McDonald's gift card.

“You wanna go first?” Jack asked.

“I don't want to go at all,” Daniel answered.  Waving towards the entrance of the game, he urged, “You go; have fun.”

As Jack entered the first section, Sam joined her friend and asked, “Are you going to try it?”

“No, I don't think so.”

“No one's made it all the way through yet,” Sam reported.

“No one?” Daniel questioned curiously, his eyebrows arched.

“It's the last station,” Sam revealed.  “I'm not sure what it is, but the guys have walked out shaking their heads.”

“What about the ladies?”

“I'm thinking about trying it next,” Sam responded.

“Piece of cake,” Jack stated as he finished the first section and moved on to the next one.

The colonel successfully made it through the first four sections.  He ate dog food, bugs, drank a combination of canned beets, crushed pineapple and string beans, and retrieved the solitary dime from a pan of kitty litter that was full of disgusting looking cat residue (though it was all fake, not that anyone knew it at the time).  Now Jack entered the final section, and his rebellious reaction was heard throughout the backyard.

Exiting, the colonel stumbled as he looked for his prey.

“Siler!”  Jack continued to look around.  “Siler, you can't hide.  I ate bugs, Siler!  Bugs!”  He began to look in the bushes, calling out loudly, “I ran my hands through cat poop, Siler!  I *hate* cats.  Siler!”

“On second thought,” Sam said to Daniel.  “I don't think I'm going to try it.”

“Aren't you curious?”

“You know what they say, Daniel.”

“Curiosity killed the cat?” the linguist returned with a smile.

“And even if the cat died a noble death, I want to live,” the astrophysicist mused, giving Daniel a little wave as she walked over to chat with some other friends from the Mountain.

~She has a point,~ Daniel agreed silently, turning around and deciding to find a drink to quench his thirst, which seemed not to have an end during this party.


With just about everyone feeling fine from the chilling beverages, it was time for some music.  Several of the guests took turns lip syncing to appropriate monster tunes while some chose to do it karaoke style.  The hit so far had been Teal'c's rendition of the theme to The Addams Family, especially when he added an impromptu 'You rang' at the end of the song.  A close second was Siler's performance of the Ghostbusters movie theme which had the party guests chiming in with, “Who ya gonna call?”

“Daniel, your turn,” Janet prodded.

“No, I ...”

“Daniel!  Daniel!  Daniel!” the crowd demanded.

A bit nervously, the archaeologist hit the stage and hesitantly selected his song choice.  He opted to lip sync, knowing the undertaking itself was going to take all of his courage.  With that thought, he reached for a beaker of the Blood Punch and chugged downed half of it as quickly as he could, trying to pound out the sound of the crowd applauding and egging him on.

Jack had no idea what his normally shy soulmate was going to do, so he was positively stunned when the music started and it quickly became clear just exactly to what song Daniel was performing.

The backyard erupted in cheers as Daniel moved fluidly to the song, Thriller.  With his costume, it really worked for him, and it easily won him the 'Best Performance' prize, which was a package of variety package of batteries that included A, AAA, C, and D sizes.  The concept behind the prize was that the winner put on an energized show; hence, the Energizer batteries.

As Daniel returned to his lover's side and saw Jack's surprised look, he just smiled and shrugged.

“Daniel, you never fail to amaze me with your talents, strange as they may be,” Jack praised.

“Thank you,” Daniel responded, looking off to the side and scratching the side of his head, “I think.”


“Paybacks, Siler,” Jack spoke with a revengeful air as he faced off against the host at the front door.  “Watch you back.”

“Yes, Sir,” the sergeant responded, totally undaunted by the threat.

“My keys?”

“Say a tongue twister, Sir,” Siler requested.

Moving into the non-commissioned officer's personal space, Jack stared with all the intimidation that he could muster and replied, “My tongue will be the least of your worries if you don't give me back my keys -- *now*.”

Daniel rolled his eyes and interjected, “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.  If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many peppers did Peter Piper pick?”

While Jack stared incredulously as his soulmate, Siler smiled and held the basket out for the archaeologist.  Daniel reclaimed his keys and Jack's, too.

“I'm driving,” Daniel assured the human wrench.

“I'm glad you came, Doctor Jackson.  You were the belle of the ball,” Siler stated.  Suddenly, he turned pale and corrected in a stammered fashion, “I mean, you were the hit of the party.”

“Thank you,” Daniel intoned, walking past his Love and heading for the truck.

“Read my lips, Siler,” Jack ordered sternly.  Enunciating very clearly, he reiterated, “Pay-backs.”


As he slid into the passenger side of the truck, Jack laughed, “That was a great party.  Siler really knows how to put on a show.”

“Excuse me?” Daniel asked in total disbelief of what he'd just heard.

“You were there,” Jack pointed out.  “It was just what we needed.”

“It was?” Daniel questioned, wondering when he'd entered the Twilight Zone.  ~No, I'm not in the Zone.  I'm just drunker than I think I am.~

Amused, Jack urged, “Let's go home, Angel.”

The archaeologist was in shock, but he started up the engine and began the drive home.

“Uh, you are fit to drive?” Jack asked out of the blue.

“I'm the one who did the tongue twister,” Daniel reminded.

Calmly, the older man spoke, “Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.”

Daniel blinked in surprise, not sure he was hearing right.

“Want another one?” Jack asked.  “Okay, how about,” he paused, thinking for a moment, “A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.”

Daniel pulled over, twisted around slightly, and accused, “You're not drunk.”

“Of course not.  You should know my tolerance level is higher than a few of those punch recipes of Siler's.”

“But you acted ... I mean, you ...”

“Daniel, we were with SGC personnel.  It wasn't just you and me, and it wasn't just SG-1.  We're talking some of the medical team, the Non-com's, and even a few civilians, not to mention their dates,” Jack pointed out.  “I may act drunk, but there's not a chance in Netu I'm gonna get drunk in front of them; at least, not these days.  However, they were expecting it, so I played along.  I didn't want to disappoint Siler.”

“So, you're not ... drunk.  You're just a bit tipsy, like everyone else.”  Seeing his husband just smile with his 'gotcha' grin, Daniel laughed and then let out an amused sigh.  “Jack Jackson-O'Neill, just when I think I know everything about you, you still continue to surprise me,” an astonished Daniel declared.

“I like it that way,” Jack responded with a smile.  “Just like with you and that little moon walk thing you did to Thriller.”

Daniel let out a quick laugh and replied, “You probably aren't going to believe this.”

“Try me.”

With a nod, Daniel decided to get back on the road as he told his tale.  It had been years ago, during college.

“I was desperate,” the archaeologist explained.  “The scholarships didn't stretch all the way, and I really didn't want to live on the streets again.”


“Just for a while,” Daniel revealed quickly.  “Maybe we'll talk about it later.  Anyway, there was a couple who needed entertainment for a party.  Their DJ walked out and they didn't have time to replace him.  They were big time Michael Jackson fans.”  He sighed, “They paid me enough to not have to worry about eating for a couple of months, so I agreed.  They taught me the moves, wrote the words down on a piece of paper, and I just sort of ... winged it.”

Jack sat back, completely amazed at his husband's revelation.

“Daniel Jackson-O'Neill, just when I think I know everything about you, you still continue to surprise me.”  As his Heart laughed, Jack added, “I can't believe you moon walked in front of everyone, tonight or twenty-some years ago.”

“I almost hyperventilated,” Daniel confided as he glanced in the rear view mirror. “To get through it, I pretended I was in the shower.”

“You don't sing in the shower.”

“I know, but I pretended I did,” Daniel replied lightheartedly, glancing at his husband and then laughing a bit more gaily.

“You gonna share?”

“Share what?”

“Your goodies,” Jack clarified.  “You won just about everything tonight, including the Dude Award for that outfit.”

“Just luck, and you won a costume award.”

“Yeah,” Jack acknowledged gruffly about his Silliest Costume Award.  “What's so silly about my costume?”

Blinking one time, Daniel responded dryly, “Babe, you're a fig leaf.”

Jack contemplated his outfit, but decided he just didn't want to think that hard, so he asked again, “You gonna share?”

“Would you?” Daniel countered, ending the subject of conversation.


“Grrrr,” Jack growled as Bijou and Katie rolled on top of him during a play session on the living room floor.

“Get him, Girls,” Daniel encouraged as he walked in from the kitchen, holding a cup of freshly brewed coffee.

Jack laughed as the attack intensified and then finally threw up his arms in defeat.  As the beagles took a victory lap, or five or ten, around the house, the colonel sat up and looked at his soulmate.

“Danny, are you glad we went?”

“To the party?” the younger man asked.  He nodded and answered, “Yes, I'm glad.  I learned a lot.”

“How to make sugar cookies that look like fingers?”

Looking down in amusement, Daniel bobbed his head and chuckled mildly, “That, too, but, ah, I just learned that ... well, people need to be with their friends and just have fun.”

“When we have kids, Love, there'll be a lot of parties, just like this one, minus the booze, of course.”

“I know, and that's how it should be.  I just ... panicked, I guess.  We're so close that sometimes I feel like I can touch it, but ...”

“Danny,” Jack interrupted, getting up and joining the younger man on the sofa, entwining their fingers.  “Do you have doubts?  About us, or our kids?”

“No,” Daniel answered instantly.  “Jack, I don't.  I love you, so much.  You're my world, which is a cliché, so I apologize.”

Jack chuckled and took the opportunity to kiss his husband, though it was a brief union of their lips.

“What I mean is that with you, and the girls, I'm alive in a way that I never was before, and I want children.  It won't be easy, but I do believe that we can raise a couple of kids and do right by them.”


“But sometimes the nightmares come back, along with the doubts and fears.  They aren't real, and they don't really mean anything.  It's just butterflies getting the best of me.  I never had parties, Babe.  They are a world that are as foreign to me as, well as artifacts are to you.  You have to give me time to get used to doing more than handing out candy at the door on Halloween or reading a book on Easter.”

“We have all the time in the world, Angel,” Jack assured, leaning in for another kiss, one that grew in passion.

As the kiss continued to gain strength, Jack gently took Daniel's cup of coffee from him and placed it on the coffee table.  He automatically scooted in closer to his husband, his heart swelling with joy when he heard a moan of contentment coming from Daniel.  From the corner of his eye, he saw Bijou and Katie staring in his direction.  All of a sudden, they took off upstairs, as if to give the lovers privacy.

~Cheeky dogs,~ Jack chuckled inwardly, though grateful to them for their departure; otherwise, he'd have to abandon what was about to happen.  ~Who made that 'not in front of the kids' rule anyway?~

Daniel slowly fell backwards as Jack leaned forward, their kisses and touches becoming more sensual and passionate.

“Siler neglected one very traditional Halloween game tonight,” Jack whispered between kisses.

His body more than ready to go to an exhilarating place, Daniel arched his neck to give his lover room to kiss him there.

“What game?”

“Bobbin' for Archaeologists,” Jack answered, making a strong connection with Daniel's lips and then his tongue, causing both men to moan and gasp at the contact.

“I thought ... that ... was Bobbing for App...Apples.”

“This is more fun,” Jack asserted happily.  “I'm bobbin' for you any second now.  Bobbin' up and down.  Geez, what leather on you does to me.”

“Oh, gawd,” Daniel gasped.  “Great ... oh, yeah ... great game.”

Halloween 2004 had been another step forward in the evolution of Jack and Daniel, future parents, and of Daniel Jackson-O'Neill in his acceptance and eagerness to not let his often void and empty past rule his future.  Making love now, the couple reaffirmed that their nation of two would lead them to a wondrous future that they couldn't even imagine.  They also knew that this was one thriller of a holiday and that many more would follow.

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
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