Let Go of My Legos

Author: Orrymain
Category:  Slash, Angst, Drama, Romance, Established Relationship
Pairing:  Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Rating:  PG-13
Season:  Beyond the Series - January 10, 2010
Spoilers:  Nemesis, Small Victories, Menace, Meridian, Unnatural Selection, Fallen, Gemini, Reckoning Parts 1 & 2, Threads
Size:  74kb
Written:  March 22-24,26-29,31, April 4, May 16, June 11, July 16, 2005  Revised for consistency:  August 24,27-28, September 4, 2007
Summary:  It's the tale of the end of the Replicators and dinner with Oma!
Disclaimer:  Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't.  A gal can dream though!
1) Sometimes, Jack and Daniel speak almost telepathically.  Their “silent” words to each other are indicated by asterisks instead of quotes, such as **Jack, we can't.**
2) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with ~ in front and behind them, such as ~Where am I?~
3) This fic stands alone, but it does reference my other fics, “They Don't Understand” and “Dinner at Seven”
4) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better:  Claudia, Tamara, QuinGem, Allexandrya, Robert, Tove, Carol, Linda!

Let Go of My Legos
by Orrymain

“What you making, Little Danny?” Jonny asked as he joined his brother in the large family and recreation room of the newly renovated Jackson-O'Neill home.

“Uncle Lou's MonsterMobile.  See big wheels?” the middle Munchkin asked as he pointed to the wheels.

“I drive MonsterMobile when I grow up,” Jonny said.

“Me, too.”

Jonny reached over to start building his own version of the truck, taking a big pile of his brother's blocks.

“Hey, let go of my Legos, Jonny,” Little Danny complained.  “I need them.”

“I need, too,” Jonny rationalized.


“Daddy says have to share,” the oldest Munchkin argued.

Little Daniel retaliated, “Dad says use own Legos.”

“Mine upstairs,” Jonny argued a bit loudly.

“I need these,” Little Danny maintained.  “Can't finish.”

“But ...”

“Hey, you two, what's going on?” Jack asked, entering the recreation room.

Jack had heard their disagreement from the living room; while it was still friendly, the volume was rising slightly.

Little Danny explained, “Jonny want to use my Legos, Dad, but I need.”

“All of them?” Jack asked.

“Yeah.  See?” Little Daniel answered as he held up his incomplete truck.

“Where are your Legos, Son?” Jack asked his namesake.

“In our room,” Jonny answered.

“Why don't you go get them?”

Jack's look told the three-year-old boy that he'd lost the argument before it started.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” Jonny whined as he slowly stood up and hurried out of the room to get his own Legos.

Jack chuckled as he watched the youngster leave the room.

“I would have let him, Dad, but truck need doors,” Little Danny said in defense of his actions.

“He knows that.  He has plenty of Legos upstairs.”  Jack knelt down to study the truck and then praised, “That's pretty good.”

A minute later, Jonny came running back into the room, saying, “I have Legos now.”

Jack smiled and asked, “What are you going to build?”

“Jo!” Jonny exclaimed eagerly, referring to the family airplane.  “Dad, we go flying soon?”

Jack nodded; then said, “I'll see what I can do.  Maybe if the weather is good we'll go next weekend.”

“Me, too?” Little Danny asked.

Jack covertly waited to see if Jonny was looking for private time with him, or if he wanted his brother to join them.

“Yeah, Little Danny go, too?”

“I think we can do that,” Jack responded with a smile.

Jack stood up and watched for another couple of minutes as the two boys contently built their Lego vehicles.  Then he walked into the kitchen to see about lunch.


Later that afternoon, while Daniel was out with Little Danny and Aislinn, Jack was lying on the sofa in the living room, reading the latest issue of Flight Magazine when he felt the sofa move.  Since the rest of the children, except for one, were with other members of their extended family, he knew exactly who the culprit was, especially since Bijou and Katie were outside, and Mittens was lying on the back of the sofa, taking a nap.  Lowering the magazine, he made eye contact with the culprit.


“Dad, tell me story,” Jonny requested.  “Hi, Mittens,” he said, patting the purring cat a few times.

“A story?”

“Yeah, scary story 'bout you and Daddy,” Jonny stated.

“Daddy and I don't have scary stories,” Jack informed the youngster.

“Want scary story,” the boy said stubbornly as he climbed to sit on Jack's abdomen.  “You and Daddy.”

“You'll have a nightmare, and Daddy will get mad at me.”

Jonny took the magazine out of his father's hands and said, “Daddy love you. No get mad.  Tell me story.”

Jonny put the magazine between Jack's body and the sofa cushion, prompting his father to let out a tiny laugh in spite of himself.

“Okay, but if you have a nightmare, don't yell at me.”

“Big boy.  No have nightmares.”

“That's what they all say,” Jack quipped.

“Tell me scary story,” Jonny demanded, bouncing atop Jack, “then I go build more with my Legos.”

“Okay, okay, but hold still,” Jack chuckled, his hands on Jonny's sides.  ~Let's see.  Hmm.  Legos always give me a nightmare.~  “Ready?”


Jack began his tale, saying, “A long time ago, before you were even a thought in our minds, we had to battle an evil force,” as he put on a menacing face.  “They were bad, very, very, bad, and very, very strong.”

“Eww.  Who, Dad?”

“Replicators,” Jack answered, saying the name forcefully, his tone hinging on fear.  “Replicators looked like Legos.”

“Legos?  Legos toys,” Jonny stated as he looked skeptically at his father, unconvinced that Legos could ever be scary.

“So were these, in the beginning, but then they grew, and they got bigger and stronger.”

“Toys grew?  How, Dad?”

“Well, let's start at the beginning.  There was this girl; well, not really a girl, but she looked like one.  She was a tiny thing, kinda like Aunt Janet and ...”

“Aunt Janet not toy!” the boy objected sternly.

“No, definitely not, but this girl was short like Aunt Janet, but don't tell Aunt Janet I said that or ...”

Jack grimaced at the thought of what Janet would do during his next physical if Jonny relayed this conversation the wrong way.

“Aunt Janet stick you good,” Jonny laughed.

“Yeah, which is why we aren't going to tell her, right?”

“Right!” Jonny agreed.

~I sense blackmail in Jonny's future.  Oh well.  Where was I?  Oh, yeah, the girl who wasn't a girl.~  The father continued, “So, anyway, the girl was really a robot.”

“Like Robot on 'Lost in Space'?”

“That robot is a nice robot; this robot was like a spoiled child.  Let's call her ... Candy.  Daddy liked Candy a lot and thought she had potential.”

“What prodencial mean?” the child questioned.

Jack chuckled, “Uh, that's po-ten-tial, and it means she could do a lot of really fun things.”  ~Like destroying the Asgard, Earth, and maybe even the whole galaxy,~ he thought sarcastically.

“You like Candy, too?”

“No, I didn't.  I saw her as a machine that needed to be destroyed; Daddy saw her as ... a broken machine who could be fixed and made to be nice.”

“Daddy right, huh?”

Jack coughed; then said, “Well, Daddy's usually right, but this time, Daddy was wrong.”  ~Please don't tell Daniel that I said that, even though he knows he was.~  “We, uh, didn't agree on this one.”

“You and Daddy fight?”

“Oh, yeah -- big, big fight,” Jack recalled.

“'Cuz of Candy?”

“Because of what happened to Candy,” Jack answered.

“What hap'n'?” Jonny asked, bouncing atop Jack again as he flexed his fingers.

“Well, at first, we weren't sure what she was.  Then, we found out she was a robot, and she surprised us with a gift for Daddy.”

“Daddy like presents.”

“Not this one,” Jack insisted.  “It was a toy: a Lego toy.”

“I like Legos.”

“Not the ones in this story.  These were those evil Replicators, and those things responded only to Candy's mind.  She could make them do whatever she wanted.”


“Ask Aunt Sam,” Jack instructed.

Jonny chuckled.  He already knew that his father often deferred technical things he didn't understand to Sam.

“Aunt Sam big smart.”

“Yes, she is,” the father agreed.  ~And that's enough about that.~  “So, anyway, the toys replicated themselves.  That's how they got their names.”

“No un'erstand.”

“Replicate means to make copies of, so one Replicator made a copy of itself, and then there were two, and then both of them made more copies, and soon there were hundreds.”

“Like xerox 'chine?”

“Yeah.  Why don't we just call them Legos, okay?” Jack suggested, wanting to keep the story as simple as he could.  ~Simple?  This story?  I must be insane to try and tell this as a fairytale to my son!~

“Bad Legos.”

“Right, and soon, there were so many that Candy's world was destroyed by them.”

“Candy, too?” the curious child asked.

“No, Candy's creator, the person who made her, told her to go to sleep, so she shut herself off.  Just like a computer is turned off at night, she stopped functioning until Daddy and I found her, a long, long time later.”

“You wake her up?”

“Yeah, Daddy and Aunt Sam thought we should.”

“You?” Jonny asked.

“No.  I thought we should leave her alone, but I lost that argument.”

Jonny chuckled again, “Always lose arg'ment to Daddy.”

The boy laid down on top of Jack's body.  His little body moved as Jack laughed and put his arms around him.

“You're right about that,” Jack chuckled.

“Candy wake up?”

“Yeah, and that's when we found out she was the one who made all the Legos.  You see, the Legos had been threatening Earth for a while already.  Remember Thor?”  When Jonny nodded against his chest, Jack continued, “Even Thor and his buddies were having a hard time saving themselves against the bad, horrible Legos.”

“What hap'n' next?”

“The Legos tried to destroy the place where Dad and Daddy work.”

“The Mountain?”

“Mmm-mmm.  There were hundreds of those buggers, maybe thousands, and they were just about to gain control, but I, uh, put on my hero outfit and turned Candy off.”

Jonny chuckled, “Super Dad?”

“The best hero in the west, except for Daddy, of course.”

Twisting his fingers in his hands, Jonny hitched a breath as he said, “You make Candy stop.”

“With one quick move of my hand.”

“Daddy not like?”

Jack sighed regretfully, “That's when we had the big, big fight, but we kissed and made up.”

“You 'n' Daddy kiss lots.”

“Yeah.”  Jack began to drift, thinking about his husband, until he felt a poke in his abdomen.  “Hey!”

“Tell story!”

“Okay, Squirt.”

“Not Squirt.”

“You're my squirt!” Jack maintained.

Jonny let out a sigh that reminded Jack of Daniel.

Jack rubbed Jonny's abdomen as he said, “Well, that took care of the Legos for a while, at least here, but out in space, where Thor lives, the creepy guys grew.  In fact, they began to look like humans.”

Jonny took a deep breath, as if afraid, and asked, “Human, like us?”

“Yes, and believe me, that was scary.  Think of a Replicator that looked like Aunt Sam.”

“Need lots of Legos!”

Jack chuckled, “We sure would.”

“Aunt Sam not 'chine,” Jonny said, squirming in Jack's hold and twisting to lay atop the magazine, in between the cushion and Jack.

“No, Aunt Sam is a wonderful woman, and she loves you very much, but that nasty Lego was out to destroy the world.”

“Bad Lego.”

“You got that right,” Jack affirmed.

“You 'n' Daddy kill it?”

“Well, it's a long, scarrrrry story,” Jack pointed out.

“I listening.”

“It seems like another lifetime.  When we first saw the Legos, they were on this great big ship, and we thought we had destroyed them, but one, just one of those creepy beasts, survived the blast.  It fell alllll the way down from space to the water in the ocean.”

“It did?”

“Scary, huh?”  Jack saw his son nod.  “It found its way to a submarine, and boy, did it duplicate itself.  There were so many Legos that they took control of the sub.”

“You stop it?” Jonny asked with confidence.

“Just in the nick of time.  That was hard on Daddy because he had to push the button that would blow up the submarine; he wasn't too happy about that.”

“Why Daddy?”

“Because I wasn't there.  T and I were fighting the Legos on the sub.”

“Why Daddy not there?”

“He had been sick, uh, remember Daddy told you about having his appendix taken out?” the father questioned.

“Funny tube thingy in stomach that blew up?” Jonny responded while he swayed front and back for a minute.

Jack silently chuckled, ~Close enough.~  “Yeah, that thing.  Well, Daddy had just had his appendix taken out, and Aunt Janet wouldn't let him come with us.”

Jonny gasped, “Daddy no happy.”

“Not one bit.  Daddy was very unhappy, but with Thor's help, we finally destroyed the little buggers, and T and I went to visit Thor.”

“Thor nice.”

“Yes, he is, and he saved us, but then Thor's friends got into trouble because the evil Legos were still out in space.”

“You save him, Dad?”

“Actually, it was Aunt Sam, T, and me.”

Jonny's head shot up, and he frowned as he asked, “No Daddy 'gain?”

“Daddy was sick, remember?  His appendix burst.”

“Oh, I forgot.”

“Daddy would like to forget it, too,” Jack said lightly.  “That ugly thing caused him a lot of pain.”

“Daddy have op'ration,” Jonny said, remembering the story.

“That's right, and after the operation, he couldn't get out of bed for a few days, and after that, he still had to rest for a couple of weeks.”

“You s'pose take care of Daddy,” Jonny chastised.

“Yeah, well, I ...”  Jack paused, unsure how to get out of this one.  “To protect Daddy, I had to protect Earth.  I didn't want to leave him in the infirmary, Son, but I didn't have a choice.  Daddy stayed here and monitored us while we went on the submarine and then helped Thor.”

“What montor?” Jonny asked, apparently accepting his father's reason for leaving Daniel behind.

“Monitored.  It means he watched us, like looking through our camcorder .”


The storyteller continued, “So then Aunt Sam figured out a way for us to get rid of the pests.  We really thought we had them beaten.  We didn't hear from the nasty buggers for a couple of years, but then we found them again, way, way, way, way, way, out in space, and that's when they began to take human form.  It was just a few of them, but they were very strong.”

“Not as strong as you and Daddy.”

“Of course not.  It took some doing, but Aunt Sam rigged a time device that saved the day.”

“What it do?”

“It made them move in verrrrry slow motion, so slow you couldn't even tell they were moving.  We thought that was the end of it, again, but they came back, and that's when the story gets really scary.”

“Make it real scary,” Jonny ordered as he moved again, this time lying on his abdomen against his father's chest.

Jack rubbed his back for a moment as he thought, ~Danny is so going to kill me.~ With an accepting sigh, he smiled and then stated, “Okay, it was a normal day, and I was in charge of the Mountain.”

“Not Grandpa?”

“He was in charge of the entire country.”


“We were trying to organize a treaty...”

“What a treaty?” Jonny asked.
“A treaty is an agreement that helps people who argue to get along,” Jack explained.

“You 'n' Daddy have treaty?”

Jack chuckled and answered, “Yeah, it's called a marriage license.”  Settling down a few seconds later, he continued, “So we were trying to help some leaders of these two empires, called Yu and Ba'al, come to an agreement.”
“Yu and Ba evil like Dar' Vader or good like Jedi?” Jonny asked trying to work out where Yu and Ba'al stood in the good/evil scale of the universe.
“You've been watching Star Wars with Teal'c again, haven't you?”  Jack saw his son's grin.  “Okay, Yu and Ba,” Jack said, deciding to keep that name for the System Lord.  ~Wonder what the ole snakehead would think if he knew I was calling him Baaaaaaa.  Baa Baa black sheep.~  Jack chuckled, then pulled himself together to continue his story.  “They're more like Darth Vader and the dark side than the Jedi knights.”

“Dark side bad,” Jonny said as he nodded his understanding.

“Just as Yu and Ba were about to agree to the terms of the treaty, one of Ba's servants came in and told him Aunt Sam's cargo ship had been found in his territory.  Ba knew SG-1 ...”

“That you and Daddy team?”

“Hmm-mmm.  Me, Daddy, Aunt Sam, and T.  We're SG-1, and Ba knew we had worked with Yu before.  Of all the bad System Lords, Yu had the most common sense, at least until he went nuts.”

“Yu nuts?”

“Not really.  He got sick; couldn't think right.”

“Like Mrs. Rogers?” Jonny asked, about an elderly woman who lived down the street who was suffering from Alzheimer's.

“Something like that.  Anyway, Ba thought Yu was trying to double cross him.”
“Why Aunt Sam alone?” a confused Jonny asked.
“This is where the story gets really scary.  You see Aunt Sam came in then and when Yu approached her, she fought his super soldiers ...”  Jack paused for a moment in his account of events, not wanting to say that Sam, even a robot Sam, had killed Yu.  “Ah, she knocked him out.  He hit his head when he fell to the floor and died.”

“Aunt Sam do that?”

“No, because remember what I said about the Legos and how they had learned to take human form?”


“This wasn't really Aunt Sam; it was a copy.”

“Copy?” the boy asked.

“One of the human Legos named ...” Jack didn't want to get into a lengthy explanation of why Fifth was called Fifth, “Bob.  Bob had a crush on Aunt Sam, and when the Legos broke free of the time device that made them move in slow motion, he kidnapped Sam and made a copy of her.”

“A copy of Aunt Sam?” Jonny said, moving to sit up on Jack again instead of lying down.

“Yeah, only we didn't know it then.  Replicator, uh, Lego Sam looked just like Aunt Sam.”

“Did you think she was Aunt Sam?”

“Not for a second, because the Lego copy had no heart.  It didn't feel, and Aunt Sam would never have ki...knocked Yu out like that.”

“Aunt Sam good,” Jonny said as he nodded his head several times.

“That's right.”

“Dad what super soldier?”

“Big, ugly, dude dressed in armor,” Jack said, making an ugly face as he did so.

“What hap'n' next?”

“A mystery,” Jack said, emphasizing the word.  Jonny's eyes grew wide.  “Daddy disappeared.”  The little boy's mouth opened.  “And we didn't know how to find him.”

“Daddy gone?” Jonny questioned, sounding as though he found the idea inconceivable.

Before continuing the story, Jack decided to simplify some of the characters. Bra'tac would be Bray and Jacob would be Jake.

~Always wanted to call him Jake.~
“That's right.  You see, Aunt Sam and Daddy had gone with Teal'c and his friend, Bray, to help and observe the Jaffa's fight for their freedom.  They were on a space ship when another ship opened fire on them.  Bray fired back, but it didn't do any good.  Teal'c said,” Jack tried to mimic Teal'c's deep voice, “Our weapons are ineffective.”

Jonny giggled at his father's attempt to sound like the Jaffa.

“And then Bray reported that they'd lost their shields.  You know what those are, right?”

“'Nvisble things 'tect 'Nerprise.”

~Close enough.  'Star Trek' sure makes my life easier.~  “Aunt Sam suggested that they leave the ship, especially since their controls weren't working.  Daddy thought they should head for the glider bay.  Uh, that's where the little planes are.”

“Like the one Luke was in?” Jonny asked, continuing to use the Star Wars comparison.

“You got it, but instead of using the gliders, Teal'c remembered there were transport rings they could use.”


Jonny looked at Jack's wedding ring, trying to figure out how it could move people.

“Not that kind of ring.  It's a magic ring,” Jack simplified, “and when you stand in the middle of it, it takes you places.”

“Like a magic carpet.”

“Yeah, that works,” Jack said, smiling.  “But before they could reach the glider bay, some doors opened, and several Legos came through them.”  Jack looked at Jonny and grinned wryly.  “And you know what Daddy said?”
“What?” Jonny's eyes were wide wondering what wise thing his Daddy had said.
“He said, 'That's not good.'”

Jonny giggled, “Daddy funny.”
~Yeah, hilarious.~

Jack cringed, remembering the nightmare.  Even though a big part of the story he was telling was fictionalized, there was still some truth in the tale, and the part with his husband almost being trapped was very true.  The Replicators had been a powerful force in this galaxy, and anytime any member of SG-1 had come up against them had been scary.

Jonny poked his father, prodding, “What hap'n' next, Dad?”
“Daddy and Aunt Sam tried to fight off the Legos, but a light appeared, and, without warning, Daddy was beamed away.”

“Where Daddy go?” Jonny asked.

“We didn't know, at least not for sure, but Aunt Sam was pretty sure he'd been kidnapped by the Legos, and she was right.”

“Why you not save him?”

“I wasn't there.  I was at the Mountain.  In fact, at that very moment, Aunt Sam's father had come for a visit.  Funny thing about Jake; he always showed up when he wanted something, never just to say 'hi', but then, that was the Tok'ra for ya, all take and very little give.”

“What Toka?” Jonny asked as he initiated a quick game of Patty-cake with his father.

“Tok'ra, and we'll talk about them some other time.”

“Good guys?”

Jack hesitated just briefly as he answered, “In their minds.”

“So why Aunt Sam's daddy there?” the boy asked, chuckling as the Patty-cake game ended.

“To tell me something I *so* didn't want to hear.”  Jack smiled at the eager look on Jonny's face and continued the story.  “Jake told me that Legos had launched an all out attack on the ...”  He paused, searching for a name to use; then he flinched while thinking, ~Why not?~  “Snakeheads.”


“Yeah, only they looked human, too, but they were really bad guys with eyes that glowed and voices that sounded all warped.”

“Not look like snakes?”

“No, but they sure acted like them, hissing and slithering around all the time.”

“Ewwww,” Jonny said as he shivered, holding his arms.

“Never met a Snakehead I didn't dislike,” Jack said.  “Jake said that if the Snakeheads couldn't find a way to stop them, the Legos would easily overrun our galaxy in a matter of weeks.”

“But Snakehead bad.  Why care if Legos beat them?”
“Because Earth would be next, if the Snakeheads were defeated.”

Jonny's eyes were wide with anticipation as he awaited the next part of the story.
“Jake told us that the Tok'ra had planted tracking devices on lots of the Snakehead ships so that they could monitor the status of the war.”

Jack smiled at his son's puzzled look.  He needed to simplify his story a little.

“You know how we have the GPS on Bijou's and Katie's collars so they won't ever get lost?”  Jonny nodded.  “Well, that is what that was.  Little bugs so that we knew where the bad guys were.”

“Oh!” Jonny said, finally understanding.

~Keep it simple, Jack.~  “Anyway, typical Tok'ra arrogance: they didn't want us to know about the tracking devices, but Jake was an okay guy for a Tok'ra.  He stole one of the devices so we could see where the war was at.”

“Jake thief?”
“Ah ...”  Jack wondered how to explain that while he supported Jake's actions in this particular case, theft was still wrong.  “Jake wasn't really stealing it, he just borrowed it.”  ~That'll do,~ he thought, pleased with his story angle.  “Anyway, while Jake and I were watching the war, we were interrupted by the Stargate turning on.  When I got to the gate room, I saw Aunt Sam, Teal'c, and Bray step through.”
“But not Daddy.”
“No, not Daddy.”

Jack remembered how he had been less-than-pleased to discover SG-1 returning shy one teammate, not to mention that said missing teammate was his lover.  This was another piece of the truth in the story he was telling, that the team had returned to the SGC without Daniel, who had indeed been zapped away by Replicator Sam.

“Dad not happy,” Jonny observed.
“I was very unhappy.  They told me that Daddy had been beamed away by Legos.  Jake thought that was odd, but Aunt Sam knew there was just one reason why the Legos would only take Daddy.”
“The Legos knew that these other guys called the Ancients had the most advanced technology in the galaxy.  They knew how to do a lot of good stuff, and they had the biggest honkinest weapons of anyone.  The Legos knew that and were worried that we might use Ancient weapons to defeat them.”

Jonny frowned as he said, “Daddy not ancient.  Dad older than Daddy.”
Jack chuckled before answering, “The Ancients are just called that, Jonny.  They aren't necessarily old.  They are a bunch of folks who think they are better than everyone else; they lived here a long, long, lonnnnng time ago.”

“Before you born?”


“Oh, real old then.”

Jack coughed at the remark and then decided to spice up the story slightly by saying, “And Daddy was once an Ancient.”

Jonny looked excited at the idea, and Jack nodded.  He remembered the dream he and Daniel had had about Kelowna and the time when Oma Desala had effectively kidnapped Daniel.

~Mix the two together and you've got a really scary story.~  “Daddy ascended,” Jack said.

“What's 'cended?”

“Now that is one scary thing.  Think about it.  Daddy decides he's not happy on Earth.  He thinks no one respects him, and he doesn't realize just how much of a difference he's made, not just to me, or here on Earth, but in the whole, wide universe.  So one day, he goes to this other place on a mission.  It's a horrible place, full of selfish, egotistic, unfeeling, irritating, make-me-wanna-throw up kind of people.”

“Dad no like them,” Jonny stated, leaning backwards on his Jack-horse, not really understanding all of the words his Dad had used, but getting the main idea.

“No, I don't.  Daddy went to their world to do good things, but those idiots were playing with fire.”

“Was it hot?”

“Not that kind of fire.  They were building a bomb, a big bomb, and an accident happened.  If no one had done anything, that world would have blown up, gone poof, which wouldn't have been so bad, except we were all on the planet at the time; and then while this smiley-faced upstart of a coward stood by and watched, Daddy being Daddy broke through the window and stopped the bomb from going boom.”  ~Boy, if this crap had really happened, I would have blown up that friggin' planet myself.~

“Daddy hero.”

“He sure is.  He's saved a lot of lives, including mine.”

“Mine, too,” Jonny said.

Jack chucked, “Couldn't have you without Daddy.”

Jack tickled Jonny's abdomen, and the boy laughed, moving forward a little, his hands again on Jack's chest.

“So, Daddy saved them, but in the process, he got very sick, and this white, glowy creature named Oma wanted Daddy for herself, and she convinced him that he should go with her.”

“Daddy no do that,” Jonny said, shaking his head from side to side.

“Daddy did, in the story.”

“Scary story,” Jonny shuddered.

“Wait until you hear what happened next.”  ~Thank you, Oma.  You just gave me an idea.~  “You see, Son, Oma was very powerful, like the Wizard.”

“Eww, from Oz?”

“Mmm-mmm, and Oma put a spell on us.”

“A spell?”

“She was a witch: a glowy thingy who was a bad-a ... a bad, bad witch, and she wiggled her nose and made Daddy and I think we weren't married; in fact, she wiped out all of our love.”

“No!  She can't do that!”

“I told you; it's verrrry scary.  Nightmarish.  You sure you want me to tell you about it?”

“I listening.  No like Oma, though,” the sandy-haired boy stated strongly.

~Me, either,~ Jack agreed silently.  “So, Daddy went with Oma, because all of sudden, he thought I was just his boss.~

“No 'member  you?”

“Oh, sure, he did, but he thought we were nothing but best friends, and I thought the same thing.  That witch made us both think that.”

Jonny folded his arms, emphatically saying, “Oma bad like Snakeheads!”

~No comment.~  “So, Daddy became a white, glowy thingy like Oma.  The fancy name for it is ascension.  It meant he was a very powerful being.  He lived in another plane of existence.”

“He lived in Jo?”

Jack chuckled; then said, “No.  He wasn't human anymore.  He could just fly around and see everyone in the universe.”

“Like God?”

“Kind of, but not really.  Daddy was ascended for a whole year, but he never forgot his friends.  He saved me, and Teal'c, and he tried so hard to save friends of ours in another corner of the galaxy, but Oma didn't like that.”

“Why not?”

“Daddy was stubborn; he insisted on helping us even though she didn't want him to.  Finally, when push came to shove, Daddy didn't care what ole Oma thought.  He was going to help our friends.”

“Good!” Jonny pronounced.

“Yeah, except Oma stopped Daddy from saving the people, and they all died.”

“That sad.”

“Yes, it is, but in Oma's strange mind, while not letting Daddy save the people, she helped them all to ascend; so who knows.  Maybe it works for them, but Daddy decided he didn't like it at all, and he wanted to come home.”

“He missed you.”

“That'll work.  Yeah, he missed me, so he came back.  We found him naked in a park.”

Jonny chuckled, “Bet it was cold.”

“And embarrassing!”

“Daddy turn red?”

“No, not that time,” Jack answered.  “He didn't know enough to be red.  Oma had erased his memory.  He didn't even know his name.”

“No like Oma did that to Daddy.”

“Actually, in her own twisted kind of way, Oma liked Daddy, so she gave him the ability to recall his Earth-life over time, and he did.  It wasn't long before Daddy remembered most everything.  Unfortunately, Oma was still jealous of Daddy and me, so she wouldn't let him remember that we loved each other.  We knew we were best friends, but we didn't know we were more than that, too.”

“Story scary.  What next?”

“We're back to the part where Lego Sam took Daddy to help her, because she thought Daddy could help her destroy the world.”

Jonny gasped and shook his head as he fervently spoke, “Daddy no do that!”

“Well, let's see what happened next and find out if Daddy helped her or not.”

“Daddy *not* help her.  She bad.”

Jack laughed, loving how sure their son was about the character of his Daddy in the fairytale he was telling.

“So there we all were, worried about Daddy and discussing how the Legos could change things.  Do you remember what Teal'c's people are called?”

“Jaffa!” Jonny answered quickly.

“Right, and for a long time, the Jaffa were held as slaves by the Snakeheads who claimed to be gods.  It made it very hard to fight the Snakeheads, but Teal'c and Bray had done that for most of their lives.  They feared that the Jaffa would see the Legos as a punishment for trying to break away from the Snakeheads; for betraying their gods.”
“Snakeheads not gods,” the boy stated, shaking his head.
“No, they're not, but for centuries, the Jaffa believed they were.  Teal'c knew that even if we did somehow defeat the Legos, the Snakeheads would take credit.”
“Needed Daddy.”
“Yes, we did, especially me, even though at that point I still just thought he was my best friend. I wanted Daddy back, so I told Aunt Sam to contact Thor and remind him of all the times we'd saved his little gray butt.”

“Thor nice.  He help.”

“I was hoping he would have a way to get Daddy back.  In the meantime, Teal'c and Bray had decided that the only way to make sure they could win the war was to capture the temple at Dakara.”

“Where that?”

“Far away.  The Ancients used to live there, and to the Jaffa, Dakara was a sacred place.  Bray believed that if we could gain control of Dakara, it would prove the Snakeheads were false gods.”

“Good plan,” Jonny observed.
Jack gave a wry chuckle, and then said, “Yeah, but there was a catch.  Dakara was deep within Ba's territory, and success would depend on the element of surprise and the use of the entire Jaffa fleet.”

“Wow, like Jedi attack on death star,” Jonny said, imagining a Star Wars type battle.
“Mmm-mmm.  Don't forget, because this is important, the Ancients once ruled Dakara, and they had left behind a giant weapon, but it was hidden.  No one knew exactly where it was or how to use it.”

“Bet Daddy know.”

“He would have figured it out quicker than we did.  Anyway, Bray thought our best chance was to fight the war on two fronts.  While he and Teal'c fought the Snakeheads, the SGC would fight the Legos.”

“And Daddy?”

Jack smiled and affirmed, “That's right, Bray forgot Daddy, and I told him that we'd actually be fighting our war on three fronts because Daddy would be fighting with us, and no Lego is going to get the best of him.  Teal'c knew I was right, but Bray didn't think there was anything Daddy would be able to do.”

“Silly Bray,” Jonny opined.

“Very silly; ridiculous even.  So Aunt Sam worked with Thor to find a way to defeat the Legos.  It took some time, but they found what they needed.  While they were doing that, the Lego copy of Aunt Sam tried to get into Daddy's mind to learn everything he knew about the Ancients, and especially Dakara.”

“Daddy no tell her!”

“Just wait, you'll see.  And while all of that was happening, Ba paid a holographic visit to the SGC.”

“Hall what?”

“Think about 'Star Trek' when they go to the holodeck and talk to pretend people: those are called holograms, and Ba had a way to send his image so we could see him.”  Seeing Jonny's understanding nod, Jack thanked the TV gods for sci-fi television and then went on with his story.  “Ba hadn't realized the Legos were so difficult to fight, and though he wouldn't say it, he knew he was losing the battle. His appearance at the SGC was a plea for help, something I made sure he knew, that I knew.”

“Dad tease Ba.”

“Oh, yeah!”

Jonny sniggered, “Ba not like that.”
Jack grinned, then responded, “No, he really didn't.”

“What next?”

“Aunt Sam contacted us from Thor's ship and went on about doohickeys, but the point was that she and Thor had figured out how to use the weapon on Dakara, but first they had to test it, and to test it, they had to find it.”

“I confused, Dad,” Jonny sighed.

“It's a confusing story,” Jack acknowledged.  “Let's back up a minute.”

Jonny scooted back, causing Jack to laugh and say, “Come here, Munchkin.”

“I teasing,” Jonny chuckled.

“And you did a good job, too.”

Jack tickled his son who giggled.  After wrestling for a couple of minutes, the two settled down again, and Jonny was ready for the rest of the story.

“Where was I?”

“Back up,” Jonny responded correctly.

“Thank you, Squirt.  Before all of this mess, Lego Sam came to Earth.  She said Bob wanted to destroy us, but she wanted to help us.”

“Bob Lego?”

“Right.  Remember, he was one of the human Legos we met out in space.”

“The slow guys?”

“Yes, and he had a big crush on Aunt Sam, but when she left him there, he got upset.”

“Aunt Sam love Pete.”

“She hadn't met Pete yet, and to be honest, Aunt Sam didn't like what we had to do to Bob, but we didn't have a choice.  Later, when Bob and the others escaped,” Jack said, simplifying the story a great deal, “he came after Aunt Sam.  He kidnapped her and created the Lego Sam.  Bob controlled Lego Sam, but the copy didn't like that.  She was smarter than Bob.”

“Aunt Sam big smart.”

“Yes, she is, and because the copy was just like Aunt Sam ...”

“Lego Aunt Sam smarter than Bob?”

“Uh-huh, and she hatched a plan, letting Bob believe she was helping him while the truth was, she was getting us to help her defeat him.  In the end, she was able to escape, but not before a struggle.  During the fight, she disconnected her arm.”

“Ouch!” Jonny said, his hands immediately going to his shoulders.

“It didn't hurt, because it was made of Legos; Lego Sam didn't feel a thing.”

“Oh, yeah, no feelings.”

“But leaving the arm behind gave Aunt Sam something to study, and it's a good thing, too, because it was the arm of Lego Sam that helped Thor and Aunt Sam to come up with a solution.”

Jonny repositioned himself again, rolling over to lay on Jack, his back against Jack's chest.  Jack put his arms around him and continued telling the story.

“So, to cut a long story short, the Jaffa were able to secure the temple at Dakara, and while that was happening, Thor and Sam tested their weapon.  It worked once, but not the second time.  Those pesky buggers were just too quick.  They were able to adapt to the changes and became immune to it; before they could find the answer, the Legos boarded Thor's ship, which was named after Daddy.”

Jonny gasped, “Legos on Daddy's ship: they bet'r get off!”

“Thor was worried about Aunt Sam so he beamed her back to the SGC so she'd be safe.  Meanwhile, Nuby, who was a really bad, bad, bad snakehead, worse than all the others put together, stopped fighting with the Legos.  He thought that if he could find the weapon on Dakara, he could destroy the galaxy and go rule somewhere else, so he ordered all of his ships to go there. Not even Ba wanted that to happen, so he told us about Nuby's plan.”

“You work with Ba?”

Nodding, Jack answered, “Sure did, but only because it was the only way to stop Nuby.  About that time is when Lego Sam finally managed to break into Daddy's mind and discover memories of the Ancients that he didn't even know he had.  She found out that the weapon on Dakara could destroy all the Replicators, uh, Legos, which were now under her control.  So she wanted to get to the weapon first and destroy it.”

“Daddy tell her?”

“He didn't mean to.  Besides, the Lego didn't have a clue what was going to happen next.  Daddy tricked her, and boy was she mad.”

Jonny smiled, confidently proclaiming, “Daddy save world.”

“He sure did.”  Jack continued, “We knew we had to find the weapon on Dakara so we could destroy it before Nuby could get his grubby mitts on it.  The problem was, we had no idea where to look.  We really needed Daddy, but he was still in a mind control battle with the Lego Sam.”  He paused and then chuckled, “You should have seen Aunt Sam and Jake trying to use Daddy's notes to find the weapon.”

“Aunt Sam find it?”

“Finally, but it took awhile, and while she was doing that, Lego Sam offered Daddy all this knowledge if he stopped fighting her ...”

Jonny snorted, “Daddy never give up.”

Jack smiled and said, “Daddy told that ole Lego, 'No.  Not gonna help you, but obviously, I can't do anything to stop you, so ... give it your best shot.'”

“Daddy tricking her now.  He snarky!”

Jack laughed and tickled his son for a moment before agreeing, “You better believe it.  He was the spider leading the fly into his trap, and that Lego wasn't the least bit wise about it.”

“Aunt Sam find weapon?”

“Thanks to Daddy's notes.”

“Daddy smart,” Jonny stated with certainty.

“Very,” the father confirmed.

“Little Danny smart like Daddy, too.”

~Wasn't expecting that,~ a surprised Jack thought.  Seriously, he asked, “Does that bother you?”

“Na-uh.  Little Danny like Daddy; I like you.”

“What does that mean?” Jack chuckled.

“Mean I let him be smart.  We smart, too, Dad.  Play dumb game.”

Jack coughed nervously while thinking, ~Danny's going to kill me if he ever hears Jonny say that.~  “Let's get back to the scary story.  Aunt Sam and Jake found the device and began to work on it.  They were prepared to destroy it, but first, they wanted to see if they could make it work just on the Legos.”

“Not kill all, just bad Legos?”

“That was the idea, so they worked really hard, but it took a long time, and while they were doing that, Teal'c and Bray were trying to fend off the bad, bad Ba.”

“Ba baaaaaad.”

“Yeah, Ba was a big, bad wolf.  Never trust a big, bad wolf.  If he could have destroyed us and the Legos, he would have done it, but Ba needed us, so he played the game, pretended to go after Teal'c, and left Nuby to fight for Dakara.”

“No hurt T.  Bad Ba.”

“Believe it, Son.  Not long after, Aunt Sam realized that she could use the weapon on Dakara to destroy all the Legos at one time, by sending the blast through all the Stargates at the same time, and don't ask me how, because it's technobabble.”

Jonny chuckled, “I ask Aunt Sam.”

“You do that.”

The boy rolled over, sat up, and bounced up and down.

“Hey, I'm not a horse,” Jack rebelled lightheartedly.

“Dad, horse.  Giddy-up!”

“Naaaaaaaaay,” Jack said, just like a horse.

Jonny laughed for a minute before asking, “Legos go boom?”

“It wasn't quite that simple, and Aunt Sam had some surprise help.”


“Of course.  While that mean ole Lego Sam thought she was getting information from Daddy, Daddy was actually getting information from her, and, in fact, Daddy learned how to control the Legos.”

“Daddy make them stop!”

“For a little bit.  He froze them in time, and it was the break we needed, giving Aunt Sam enough time to set off the weapon.”

“Goodie!  Daddy come home then?”

“Not yet because when Lego Sam found out what Daddy was doing, she was really angry.  Daddy had gotten the best of her and was just as strong as she was.”

“Stronger!” Jonny insisted.

“He was so strong that he freed himself from the ties she had used to keep him restrained, but, uh, she ...”  ~Hmmm, no, don't think we should say that.~

Jack figured that the Replicator would have killed Daniel, but he didn't think that was an appropriate thing to tell his young son.  Quickly, he scoured his mind to come up with an alternative act for this part of the story.

“What, Dad?”

“She, uh ...”

“What she do Daddy?”

“She ... knocked him out,” Jack admitted.

“Daddy no let that.  She girl!” Jonny argued insistently.

“She was a very strong machine,” Jack stated firmly.

“I don't believe you,” Jonny said, folding his arms across his chest and making a face.  “Daddy no get knocked out by girl!”

“Okay, well, she, uh ... she turned her arm into a weapon and hit Daddy.”


“Yeah, so it wasn't a fair fight,” Jack clarified, hoping to convince the boy so he could move on with the story.

“Oh, okay,” Jonny said, relaxing.  “Giddy up!”

“Naaaaaaay,” Jack said, acting like a horse again for a moment.

“Whoa, Horsie.  Gotta finish scary story.”

At that point, Mittens decided her nap was over.  She stood up, stretched, and then used Jack's chest as a stepping stone to the floor.

“My cat walks all over me,” Jack joked.

“Meow,” Mittens responded; then turned and walked to the kitchen for a drink of water.

Jonny giggled and then translated,  “Mittens say thank you.  Now finish the story.”

“Okay, well, where was I before I became a stepladder for that darn cat?”  Hearing Jonny giggle, Jack smiled.  He was loving this time with his namesake.  “Oh, yeah.  She knocked Daddy out and figured she'd go to Dakara and destroy the weapon, but what she didn't know was that Ba had decided to cooperate with Aunt Sam in order to destroy the Legos.”

“What he do?”

“Well, first, you have to know that those nasty Legos managed to find their way into the Mountain.”

“They take over Earth?”

“They wanted to, but we fought them.  That's actually when Daddy managed to freeze the little bugs,” Jack spoke.

“He tricking Lego Sam?”

“That's right.”

“So Ba was helping Aunt Sam by reprogramming all the Stargates so that they would work at the same time, and with the buggers frozen for a while because of Daddy, Aunt Sam was able to send the weapon's blast through the entire galaxy.”


“Yeah, big wow!”

Jack laughed as he said, “You know what Daddy said to the Lego when she tried to run?  He said, 'Trying to leave?  Sorry, a little more time in Danny's world.'”

Jonny chuckled, “Danny's World.  Funny, Dad.”

“Yeah, Daddy can be snarky when he wants to.”

“You snarky, too,” Jonny stated.

“Where do you think he learned it from?” Jack asked with pride.

Jonny smiled and said, “So Daddy trick Lego, and Aunt Sam blow up thingy.  World saved?”

“Yeah,” Jack said, smiling.  “All the Legos blew up into tiny, little pieces of Legos.”

“Even Lego Sam?”

“And her ship.”

“Where Daddy?  How he get off ship?”

~Hmm.  Sharp kid.  Don't suppose 'happy ever after will cut it here.  Think, Jack.  Ah, okay, let's use that creepy Oma again.  For a glowy thingy, she's coming in handy in this story.~  “Keep listening, Little Beaver.”

“Little Beaver?”

Jack shrugged; then continued, “Okay, well, Teal'c and Bray surrounded Ba's ship, and then Bray boarded the ship, but the sneaky evil dude used one of those beam things and disappeared.”

“Like Casper?”

“Casper?”  Jack thought, then shrugged again.  “Okay, like Casper.  So Ba escaped, and in another part of space, creepy Lego Sam had a smirky smile on her face.  She was so sure she'd beaten Daddy.”

“She wrong!”

“She was going to kill Daddy.”  Jonny gasped and gulped before Jack continued the tale.  “But then she sensed the Dakara weapon, and seconds later, she poofed, turning into a million Lego marbles.”

“Daddy?” Jonny asked softly.

“Remember Oma?”

“Glowy thingy?”

Giving the boy an affirmative nod, the storyteller said, “Well, she likes Daddy, so right before the ship was destroyed, she saved him and beamed him up to this funny diner in the sky.  I think they had breakfast.”

“Dad, make story scarier,” Jonny said, who for a moment had been chilled with shivers, but now was on the verge of chuckling about the diner in the sky.

“I'll try.”  Jack thought for a moment, then said, “We heard from Thor that he and his ship had survived.”

“Daddy's ship.”

“That's right.  They blew up my ship, but not Daddy's ship.”

Jonny sniggered.  They all knew how Aunt Sam had come up with the idea of blowing up Thor's 'O'Neill' ship.

“Aunt Sam couldn't quite believe that Daddy had managed to freeze the Legos and, being a regular 'Gloomy Gus', was convinced that Daddy had to be dead.”

“Aunt Sam silly.”

“Yeah, she was.  So life went on: Teal'c and Bray were trying to organize the Jaffa who were finally free from slavery, while Aunt Sam and Pete were getting ready for their wedding.  Aunt Sam got scared though and came over to see me.”
Jack looked at his son and gave him a funny face.

“Why stop, Dad?”

“You sure you want this scary?” Jack asked wearily.

“Very scary,” Jonny insisted.

“Okay, you asked for it.  Daddy was still in the diner, and Oma was pretending to be a waitress.  All the other people were like stone.  No one would talk to Daddy, except for one man, named Jim.  Anyway, Daddy was confused; he didn't understand what was happening, but he did recognize Oma.  When she walked up to take his food order, Daddy, ever-so-snarky, told her, 'I'll have the truth, with a side order of clarity, please.'”

“Daddy funny.”

“Yeah, a real riot.  Oma told Daddy that Lego Sam had ... ah ... been going to really hurt Daddy, so she had saved him.  Now, Daddy was in between worlds, and he had to decide if he wanted to ascend to that other world or stay here on Earth.”

Jonny sighed, “Dad, before Legos, you nice to Daddy?”


“You no be mean?” Jonny asked, his eyes glaring at his father.

“Mean?  To Daddy.  I love Daddy.”

“Daddy no think bad stuff?”

Jack smiled and answered, “No way.  I had been as chipper as ... Chip and Dale on TV.”

Satisfied, Jonny said, “Okay.  What hap'n' next?”  Jack stared at his son, wondering just why he'd ask those questions.  “Dad, what next?” Jonny asked impatiently.

“Oh, sorry, but, yes, I was nice to Daddy.”  Jack shook it off and continued the tale.  “At the Mountain, we were having a whole new argument about whether or not to destroy the weapon on Dakara.  Teal'c and Bray wanted it to protect themselves from bad guys like Ba and Nuby, but Jake and I were worried that the weapon was too powerful and should be destroyed.”

“Needed Daddy.”

“Always, and while we were arguing, Daddy was trying to get the truth out of Oma, but for the longest time, all he could get were waffles.”

“Daddy's favorite!”

“He's the waffle man!” Jack teased.

“Blueberry ones.”

“I'm getting hungry.”

“Finish scary story!” Jonny demanded.

“I'm gonna make this *really* scary.  Are you ready?”

Jonny sat up very straight and wrapped his arms around himself before saying, “Ready.”

“Remember, Oma made Daddy and me forget that we were married and in love, and you know what else she did?”

“What?” Jonny asked, afraid to breathe.

“She put a double whammy spell on me; it was like she brainwashed me.”

“What she make you do?”

“Ewww, it's so horrible I don't think I should tell you.”

“Tell me, Dad.  Hafta!”

“Well, okay, if you're really sure?”

“Tellllll me,” Jonny pleaded, reaching down and tugging on Jack's shirt for emphasis.

“She made me think I liked this chick with long hair.  I even invited her over for a barbecue.”

“That scary!” Jonny said with an eerie voice.

“The girl or the barbecue?” Jack teased.

“Both.  Burn steaks?”

“No, I ... grrrrr, that doesn't matter.  All of a sudden, though, here comes Aunt Sam, and she was big time nervous.  I'd seen that look before, and that made me nervous.  Burrrrrrrr,” Jack said, making his body shiver.

Jonny laughed, then surprised his father by saying, “Aunt Sam had crush on you.”
Astonished, Jack asked, “How did you know that?”
Jonny gave his father an evil grin, then said, “Cover Ops.”

“Cover ... it's covert, and what do you mean?”
“Secret,” Jonny said.

“Yeah, well.  I don't think I want to know.”  Jack grimaced at Jonny's chuckle.  ~I really don't want to know.~  “So, Aunt Sam was talking to me, and, Kerry, that's the chick, was here for dinner, only Aunt Sam didn't know that at first.  So there I was, innocently trying to cook dinner, with Aunt Sam in a huff because she was jealous.  Plus, Aunt Sam knew about Daddy and I, and Oma didn't think about that.  She hadn't said anything to us because she didn't realize what Oma had done to our memories.  Aunt Sam just thought we were doing a real good job of being secretive, because we didn't talk to her anymore about being in love.  Think about it, Son.  Aunt Sam, all crazy, wanting your old Dad, but being angry because when she saw me with Kerry.  She thought I was cheating on Daddy.”

“You were!” Jonny challenged.

“Oma had me under a spell, but I was fighting her.  I knew; somehow I just knew it was wrong.”

“You love Daddy!”

“Forever and always, and Chickie, er, Kerry, was quickly figuring out that I was a lot closer to Daddy than I should be.  I kept talking about Daddy, and she knew I cared more than I should.  Oma cast her spell, but it just wasn't strong enough,” Jack assured.

“No like Oma.”
“Daddy still does, but I don't like glowy thingys very much.”

“Unless they Daddy.”

“I love Daddy, glowing or not glowing,” the parent chuckled.

Jonny had a big smile as he asked, “Next?”

“Well, up in the glowy diner, Daddy had just figured out that it was Oma who had helped Nuby to become as powerful as he was.  She didn't mean to, but she did.”


“Yeah, oops indeed.  Daddy wasn't happy, but you know Daddy.”

“Be nice.”

“Yeah, and always try to see things from the other person's point of view.”

“He forgive her, huh?”

“Maybe, but that's getting a little bit ahead of the story.  After the barbecue disaster, Kerry told me she didn't want to date me anymore.”

“You married!”

“But I forgot!” Jack argued in his defense.  ~Bad idea to make this story that scary.~

“No like Oma,” Jonny pouted.

“Me, either,” Jack said sarcastically.  “But at least Kerry saw through the spell.  She told me that I should retire so that I could be with Daddy.”

Jonny glared at Jack suspiciously, then asked, “You kiss Kerry?”

Jack gulped, then answered, “It was the spell.”

“You lucky Daddy came back.”

Jack smiled.  He felt so lucky to have Daniel in his life.  Their love grew every second of every day, and he was incredibly happy.

“I know, Munchkin, I know.  Up in the diner, Daddy had figured out that Nuby was there, pretending to be that Jim guy.  He gave all those Ancient dudes one of his best, biggest, passionate speeches.  They didn't listen, but would you believe it?  He actually got through to Oma.  She finally got some gumption and decided it was time she fought Nuby.”

“'Bout time.”

Jack ruffled Jonny's hair as he said, “And here at home, Jake had just died.”

“Poor Aunt Sam.”

“Yeah, she was having a tough time of it.  She got scared, too.  She decided she didn't love Pete, so she told him that she couldn't marry him.”

“Pete sad.”

“Yes, he was.”

“He still sad,” Jonny sighed.  “Wants to marry her.”

“Soon, I hope, but Aunt Sam, well, she's very independent, and she doesn't want to make a mistake.  It was easier for her to think she cared about me.”

“She think she love you, but not like Pete?”

“Yes and no.  She didn't know what she felt.  She was and still is scared.”

“No un'erstand.”

“Jonny, trust me, you'll never understand women.”  After a pause, Jack continued, “The next thing we knew, Nuby's troops were running around like headless zombies because Nuby had disappeared.  With Nuby out of the picture, the Jaffa finally agreed to destroy the weapon on Dakara.  In its place, they'd put a memorial of the Jaffa victory that occured there.  The funny thing was that at the time, we didn't know why Nuby was gone.”

“Daddy,” the boy said confidently.

“Yeah.  I kept telling them that Daddy had a hand in it, but they thought I was off my rocker.”

“No, not.  No rocker here,” Jonny said seriously.  “You on sofa.”

“True,” Jack chuckled.  “There we were, arguing over whether Daddy was responsible or not, when Daddy's voice pipes up.  'No, it wasn't me,' he said.  After checking to make sure I wasn't hearing things ...”

Jonny chortled at the comment.

“We heard Daddy's voice again, saying that he was in my office, but not to come in.”

“Why he not want you to come in?” Jonny asked, his nose scrunched up in confusion.

“Because he was naked as the day he was born!”

Jonny laughed, and Jack smiled at the memory, lost momentarily in thoughts of his husband until a small finger poked him in the ribs to get his attention back on the story.

“And you know what?”


“When I walked to my office and saw Daddy, Oma's spell was broken.  I saw him and knew he was my heart and soul.”

“Daddy 'member, too?”

“Oh, yeah.  He knew I knew, and I knew he knew, but we couldn't do anything about it because we were at the Mountain.  I tell ya something, though, I had to get Daddy covered up.  No one was going to ...”  Jack smiled, stopping his tale.  He suddenly realized he was about to get a little too in-depth for his young son.  “let Daddy catch cold, so I grabbed a flag and handed it to him.  Daddy was a flagpole.”

Jonny chuckled.

“With Daddy wrapped up in the flag, he walked out and joined the rest of us. Aunt Sam was smiling, and Bray was drooling.”  ~I so don't want to think about what that meant.~  “I had to work really hard not to kiss Daddy senseless right there in front of anyone!”

“Daddy no mad 'bout Kerry?” Jonny questioned.

“He understood it was just the spell.  Daddy knows I would never, *never* kiss anyone but him,” Jack answered.

“Happy ending.”

“Very happy.  Daddy, Aunt Sam, Teal'c, and I all went fishing at the cabin in Minnesota.  We spent an entire week fishing in the pond with no fish.”

“That scary story, Dad!  There is so fish there.”

“Well, don't tell anyone,” Jack whispered conspiratorially.

“Scary.  I frighten.”

“Yes, Nuby and Oma are very scary characters.”

“No, you and Kerry.  No kiss woman; just Daddy.”

Jack blinked a few times as something occurred to him.  He was sure Jonny understood, but deep inside, a little voice was telling him to make sure.

“Jonny, do you understand that love can be between anyone?  What I mean is that Sara and I loved each other very much, and the reason we're not together anymore has nothing to do with her being a woman.  Do you understand that?”

“Aunt Sara love you lots,” Jonny said with a grin.

“And I love her, just like Daddy still loves Sha're.”

“She pretty, too, like Aunt Sara.”

“Yes, she was,” Jack answered, smiling at his son.  “Son, what I'm trying to ask you is if you understand that Daddy and I love each other very, very, very, very much, and it just happens that we are both men?”  After Jonny smiled, he advised, “Women are great, too.  Wherever you find love is good, and it doesn't matter if it's with a man or a woman.”

“But no kiss Kerry,” Jonny chastised, his head bouncing up and down as he spoke.

“How about Kevin?” Jack asked, referring to one of their neighbors who was a very handsome, single male.

“No kiss Kevin,” Jonny said with a pout equal to the Kerry-pout.

~I think he understands.~  Jack tickled Jonny for a moment as he asked, “Can you imagine anything more scary than Dad and Daddy not being together?”

“No, not like.  Dad no kiss Kerry or Kevin.  No kiss anyone but Daddy!”

“Scary,” Jack shivered animatedly.

“Too scary.  Bad Dad.”

“Bad Dad?” Daniel asked, walking into the living room with Little Danny and Aislinn.  “What did you do, Jack?”

Jonny climbed down and ran to Daniel, rapidly saying, “Dad kiss strange woman; make Candy stop; you glowy thingy, Daddy.”

“What?  He kissed what strange woman?”  Looking over at his husband, Daniel asked pointedly, “Jack?”

“He wanted me to tell him a scary story,” the older man explained innocently.

“All 'bout Snakeheads 'n' 'Nuby 'n' Oma 'n' bad Legos,” Jonny rambled excitedly.

“Bad Legos?” Daniel asked, staring at boy and having no clue what he was talking about.

“Candy.  Her name Candy.”

“Her name ...”  The light dawned for the archaeologist.  “Reese?” Daniel asked as he looked at his husband.

“No, Candy!” Jonny responded.

Daniel glared at Jack, who smiled weakly and shrugged.

“I want to know more about this woman Dad kissed,” Daniel told their son.

“I didn't ...”

“You said you did,” Jonny accused.  “Her name Kerry.”

“Kerry?” Daniel asked curiously.

“Kerry Johnson, CIA, remember?” Jack said quickly, but then he looked at Jonny and said, “It was a story.  You wanted me to tell you a scary story.”

“I glad I not here,” Little Danny said, folding his arms and staring at his father.  “Only kiss Daddy,” he added forcefully.

“Dad, bad,” Aislinn added.  “Punish.  No 'cream t'night,” she ordered.

The comment almost had Daniel laughing, especially when Little Danny added, “And no TV!”

“Dad?”  Jonny ran to Jack who was now sitting on the sofa.  He put his hands on Jack's thighs.  “Aunt Sam's dad really die?”

Jack picked up his son and held him in his lap.  Seriously, he answered the question.

“Yes, he did.  Uh, actually, his name was Jacob, and he was a good man.  I didn't always agree with him, but he knew his stuff.  He did his best to be his best.  He helped to save the world, and when that fight was over, he went to sleep.”

“Aunt Sam sad?”

“Very sad.”

“What 'bout Pete?”

Jack sighed, “Well, that part of the story was true.  What happened was that after Jacob died, she got scared.  Aunt Sam grew up in the military, and until Pete, all she ever had was the military.  The closer she got to the wedding, the more afraid she became that she was making a mistake.”

“Why?” Aislinn asked.

“Because,” Daniel said, deciding he'd better get into the conversation.  He picked up Aislinn and sat down next to Jack, and at the same time, he patted the sofa, motioning for Little Danny to sit down, but instead, the boy went to stand in front of both parents.  “Aunt Sam has lost a lot of people she's cared about.  It's never been her fault, but she's had some bad luck.”  He brushed the hair out of Aislinn's eyes.  “She loves Pete, but she wasn't sure she could survive another hurt like that.  When her father died, she called off the wedding.”

“She still scared?” Aislinn asked.

“Is the Pope Catholic?” Jack smirked.


“Daniel, the woman is petrified.  It's been years, and they still aren't married.  She's not scared, she's terrified.”

“Pete nice,” Little Danny said.

“And he's hung in there,” Jack stated.

“Aunt Sam still have crush?” Jonny asked.

Daniel looked at Jack with raised eyebrows.

Jack cleared his throat before answering, “No, Son, that was just in the story.”

“Jack!” the younger man chastised.

“He wanted a scary story.  I gave him one,” Jack replied, rationalizing his tale.

“We need to talk,” Daniel sighed.

“Dad in trouble,” Aislinn teased.

“Dad kiss Daddy,” Jonny requested.

“I can go for that.”  Jack saw Daniel's stare.  “Danny, it was a story.”


“Daniel, were you ever a glowy thingy?” Jack asked.

“Um, no.”

“I rest my case.  Kiss me,” Jack demanded.

Daniel chuckled, “Gawd,” and then kissed his husband.

“Kiss 'gain,” Jonny said.

Daniel was going to say something, but he saw something in his son's eyes.  He wanted reassurance; needed to know that Jack's story was just that -- a story.  He smiled and leaned over for a more passionate kiss.

“I love you, Jack,” Daniel said softly.

“I love you, too, Angel, more than anything.”

They kissed again, and again, and even again, and when they looked at the Munchkins again, they saw three very secure little smiles.

“That good scary story, Dad.  Tell 'n'other one?”

“Maybe next week,” Jack responded.  Then he suggested, “Hey, why don't you guys go check on Bij and Katie?”

“Yeah,” Little Danny said, leading the three outside.

“Come here, you,” Jack said, pulling Daniel into him.  Both could easily see the triplets outside, and since all the other children were with other family members, that's all they needed to worry about.  “Are you angry I told him the story?”

“It's just a story,” Daniel replied.

“Based on fact, but with some fiction thrown in.  I didn't want to tell him about killing, so I used my worst fear -- losing you.”

Daniel moved his head to look at Jack and whispered, “I love you.”

“You're my world, Danny.  I couldn't even go through with it in the story.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was all Oma's fault.  She placed a spell on us and made us forget our forever,” Jack stated.

~Where does he come up with these ideas?~  Daniel chuckled at Jack's imagination.  He turned his head and leaned his face close to Jack's ear as he sang in jest, “She placed a spell on you.”  Then he nibbled lightly on Jack's earlobe.  ~Love his ears.~

“Geez, you're sexy,” Jack said, lustful hunger in his tone.

“You like the package, huh?” Daniel asked seductively, his eyes sparkling.

“I love the package; I especially love that you can do that.  Crap, Danny, it took so long.”

“But you did it, Love.  You got through and knocked down every wall I had ever built up.”

They kissed again and Daniel turned back to see what the kids were doing outside.  The lovers were simply loving the fact that they were together and enjoying the thrill of their love.

“Oma,” Daniel sighed.  “Jack, I don't think Oma was so bad.  She really did have good intentions and reasons for what she did.”

“You're forgiving her for that warped crush she had on you when she tried to ascend-nap you.”

“She was sick, some Ancient illness or something, and she apologized.”  Daniel turned to face Jack and saw his disbelieving look, even after all the years that had passed.  “She did, Babe.  Jack, she saved my life.  She zapped me up from the ship to some weird ... I don't know, way station, healed me, and then pointed me towards that crazy diner.  She didn't have to do that.  She could have left me on that ship and let me be blown up with the Replicators.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jack agreed reluctantly.  “I'm not convinced, though, Danny. Why not just send you home?  Why play the game with the Others?”

“I don't know,” Daniel sighed.  “Maybe she thought if I saw the Others that I'd be curious and want to stay, but instead, Anubis crashed the party.”

“That did him in.  If he'd stuck with fighting us and the Jaffa, he might still be out there, but no, he had to gloat,” Jack stated.

“Is that what you think he was doing?” Daniel asked.

“He was power-hungry.  There wasn't a purpose to what he did, other than wanting to prove he was the meanest and the baddest of 'em all.  He somehow found out what Oma was doing and showed up to flaunt his stuff.  He just didn't count on you being there to convince Oma that ascend-napping wasn't always such a good idea.”

“Where do you get these names -- ascend-napping?”

“It's a gift,” Jack chuckled with pride.

“Right,” the archaeologist responded dryly.  “Jack, I'm wondering if maybe the whole thing was a test.”


“Why would the Others care what happens to me?” Daniel questioned.  “If they didn't want Oma to break the rules and ascend me, they could easily have stopped her.”

“I'm not following you.”

Daniel speculated, “I think they were testing Oma.  We know that the Ancients had good and bad; we learned that later, so maybe these were part of the good guys, and Oma's flaw was that she hadn't fixed her mistake with Anubis.”

Jack considered Daniel's words, trying to determine if it made sense or not.

“I mean, maybe they're even helping her.  I never thought Oma was so strong, Jack, so maybe her test was when she made the decision to fight Anubis, and when she made the right choice, they ... well, maybe it ... oh, I don't know.”

“I think I understand what you're trying to say.  Oma had to make a choice, and for a long time, she didn't have the guts to do it.  When she finally developed some backbone and did what she should have done in the first place, they jumped in and helped her.”

“It's a possibility.”

“I'll give you that much, Danny, and, after all, she did save you for me.  You could have died because of that giant Lego,” Jack spoke, shaking his head at the thought.

“I almost did, so it was a good thing Oma lusted after me,” Daniel said a bit brazenly.

“Like she ever had a chance.”

“Not in a million years, Babe,” Daniel assured.  After another kiss, he asked, “Whatever happened to Kerry Johnson?”

“I haven't a clue; never saw her after the investigation ended.  We had those meetings at the SGC, but I don't even think we talked much.  She was pretty, though.  I thought you had a couple of run-ins with her.”

Daniel chuckled, “Run-ins?  You make it sound like we argued, but, yeah, she was around here and there for a couple of years, and I saw her a few times.  You must have been off-world, or ... out of town,” he said, raising his hands up and making the quotation mark sign with his fingers as he referred to his husband's occasional covert missions away from Cheyenne Mountain.

“Probably,” Jack affirmed with a shrug.

“What made you choose her for the story you told Jonny?” Daniel asked with the inquisitive tone that only a lover could have.

“Are you setting me up?” Jack questioned as he stared at his soulmate.  ~Not sure I should answer this.~

“Jack!  I'm just curious,” Daniel insisted harmlessly.  ~But he'd better have a good reason.~  “Why her and not ... Jane Macklin or anyone else from the SGC?”


“What?” a baffled Daniel asked.

“In those meetings, Johnson prattled a lot.  If you asked her a question, she droned on forever.  When I was thinking back, trying to decide about what to use in the story, I thought about the meetings, and when I thought about them, I remembered her prattling on and on and on; worse than Carter, even.”

“You're so incorrigible,” Daniel chuckled.

“That's what I remember about her -- long hair that stuck out all over the place and prattling.”  The lovers both chuckled, and then Jack kissed Daniel's forehead. “I only have eyes for you, Angel.  Geez, I hope you know that.”

“I do.  You're all mine, Jackson-O'Neill,” Daniel said softly.

“You can say that again,” the older man teased.

“You're all mine, Jackson-O'Neill,” Daniel repeated amid laughter.

“I'll go you one better,” Jack chuckled.

“You will?”

“Watch this,” Jack said as he winked, getting his lover all excited.  He sat up and went to the phone.  “Carter?  You're not busy, are you?”

“Well, as a matter of ...”

“Good,” Jack interrupted, not prepared to hear anything but 'Yes, Sir' from the blonde.  “The Munchkins need you, ASAP.”


“Danny, the kids get back in two hours.  It'll take Carter thirty minutes to get here, so ... wait!”

Jack picked up the phone, exclaiming, “Mrs. V!” after their neighbor had answered her phone.

Daniel chuckled, but ten minutes later, the Munchkins and the beagles were at Mrs. Valissi's home, waiting for Sam to pick them up for a special playtime at the park.


“Thanks, Mrs. Valissi,” Sam called out as the triplets ran out to her in the driveway.

“Okay, Munchkins, let's ...” Sam began, opening the door to her car.

“Aunt Sam, no be scared!” Jonny interrupted suddenly.

“What?” the blonde asked, completely taken aback by the remark.

“Pete love you,” Little Danny explained.

“You love Pete,” Aislinn stated.

Sam stared at the trio, totally not knowing what to say.

The Munchkins looked at each other and then exclaimed, “*Marry Pete!*”

“Um, yeah, well, I'm going to.  We're engaged.  You know that,” Sam responded nervously.  “Let's get in ...”

Impatiently, Jonny again interrupted, “You 'gaged forever.  We want new uncle.”

“Oh,” Sam expressed as she bobbed her head about nervously and pursed her lips.  “Well, uh ... uh ...”

Little Danny tugged on her skirt, crooked his finger for her to bend down, and, once Sam had done so, said, “No be scared, Aunt Sam.  We big family; 'tect each other.  Please don't be scared anymore.”

“Aw, Little Danny,” Sam said, hugging him close.

Aislinn and Jonny joined in the hug, their little arms wrapping around her and Little Danny as much as possible.

“Pete no hurt you, or I get him,” Jonny said forcefully.

“Pete would never hurt me,” Sam replied, placing her hand on his cheek.

“Then why you no marry him?” Jonny asked.

“Because ...” Sam paused as she pondered the truth and then answered, “I'm dumb.”

“Not dumb,” Aislinn said.  “Just scared, but no need to be.  Dad 'n' Daddy say so.”

“You marry Pete,” Jonny ordered as he finally climbed into the backseat.

“Yeah,” Little Danny agreed, following his brother in the vehicle.

“Love him, Aunt Sam?” Aislinn asked.

“Very much, Ash,” Sam answered softly.

Aislinn smiled, not saying anything more.

“Come on, we need to go,” the blonde stated and then making sure the three children were secure in their car seats.  As she walked to the driver's door, she thought, ~Wow, those Munchkins are ... I don't know what they are, but I wish they were mine.~  Opening the door and sliding onto the seat, she thought, ~They are mine; Daniel said so.  Still, one of my own, before I turn seventy ... maybe.  I wonder if I have the guts.~


As Sam pondered her future, Jack and Daniel merged their bodies together in a fusion that linked together the very threads of their being, knowing that the reckoning of their lives was each other.  The couple believed in each other, in their love, and in their nation of two, which they felt was stronger than any other force in the universe.

“Jack,” Daniel said as they lingered in the aftermath of their euphoria.


“Next time you tell the Munchkins a scary story, let's make sure we have a whole afternoon to, uh, you know afterwards.”

“I'll make a note of it, Love.”  As the two men settled, Jack remembered his conversation with Jonny when he had told the oldest Munchkin the scary Legos tale.  “Danny, I need to tell you about a little talk I had with Jonny.”

“Mmmm,” Daniel sighed contently.  It took a minute for his husband's words to sink in.  When they did, he looked up at Jack and queried, “What conversation?”

Jack relayed the conversation about love and gender, concluding with, “We're an exception, Danny.”

“I know,” Daniel acknowledged, placing a kiss on Jack's still-damp chest.  “In our society, labels are everywhere, but this isn't about that.  Most people do define themselves as heterosexual or homosexual because they truly are attracted to just one sex, and there's nothing wrong with that.”

“Not one thing,” Jack agreed.  “But we're different, Angel.  It's not gender for us; it's soul.  You and I both have loved before, and neither of those situations were lies.”

“No, they were genuine.  Jack, our children need to understand that labeling is different from self-identification and awareness.”

Jack commented, “I was so involved in that story, making Kerry out to be bad, that I didn't realize until Jonny's comment that I might have been teaching him a wrong thing.”

“That's why you threw in the question about Kevin, right?”

“Yeah.  I wanted to see how Jonny processed it, but it was the same.  It had nothing to do with male versus female,” the silver-haired man spoke.

“Jack?” Daniel said, raising his head to look at his husband again.

“What?” Jack asked as his left hand gently palmed his lover's moderate shaggy-length hair.

“Make sure you remember what Jonny said.  He's very wise, you know,” Daniel advised.

“'No kiss anyone but Daddy',” Jack laughed, using a child-like voice.

Growing serious, Daniel declared, “I love you, Jack, so freakin' much.”

“I love you, too, Angel, to the moon and the stars, back and beyond.  Forever and always,” Jack stated.

“And always and forever,” the younger man sighed happily.

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
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