My Limping Linguist

Author: Orrymain
Category: Pre-Slash, Smarm, Drama, Missing Epilogue, POV
Pairing: Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Rating:  PG-13
Season:  1 - March 26, 1997
Spoilers:  The Broca Divide
Size:  11kb, ficlet
Written:  March 16-17,19, 2004  Revised: February 24-27, March 5,8,15,23, 2011
Summary:  SG-1's thoughts and interactions as they walk back to the Stargate at the end of The Broca Divide.
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't.  A gal can dream though!
1) I have to pay homage to ELG's “Under My Skin” (one of the first fics I ever read) in which Lori uses a phrase that always makes me smile: limping linguist.  I finally had to use it myself here in my fic, too.
2) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with ~ in front and behind them, such as ~Where am I?~
3) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better:  Claudia, Jessi, Heather, Michelle, QuinGem, Drdjlover, Classic, Ali, Navi!

My Limping Linguist
by Orrymain

“You have done it, my lord. Thank you,” High Councilor Tuplo of The Land of Light expressed appreciatively as he embraced his daughter.

“We'll teach you how to take care of the rest,” Jack replied as he helped the man and his daughter up from their kneeling positions.  ~Actually, I'd really like to just go home and sleep for about a week.~

It had been one of the longest days of Jack O'Neill's life.  It had begun with a standard briefing, moved on to a fairly quick recon, and hiccuped during the debriefing when he and his archaeologist clashed over whether or not the cultural impact of a mission should be given the same value as that of the military aspects.

~This day is just getting better and better,~ Jack had snarked inwardly at one point upon realizing it wasn't even lunchtime yet.

Things worsened when it was discovered SG-1 had brought back a contagious virus from the planet.  This had essentially turned just about everyone on the base into primitive cavemen since the disease was communicable.  Fortunately, SGC's new Chief of Medicine, Janet Fraiser, came up with a cure, but not before Teal'c had 'lost' Daniel on the planet while attempting to retrieve a blood sample for her research.  Unfortunately, the Jaffa's failure to keep watch on the archaeologist had meant that Daniel, too, had been inflicted with the virus.

In the last several minutes, those on the planet who had suffered from disease, known as The Touched, had also recovered, reuniting many families that had been separated because of the affliction.

It was past dinnertime, though on this bright world, a person wouldn't know that except by looking at a clock or other manner of telling time.

Jack was more than ready to get back to Earth.  He had some making up to do.  While under the influence of the parasitical virus that had plagued The Touched for years, he had actually punched Daniel several times in an unprovoked attack.  He felt tremendously guilty for that, even though it wasn't his fault.

Even as he had this quick exchange with Tuplo, Jack was well aware of Daniel's presence to his right.  His friend's shirt was torn and his shaggy hair was hanging down the front of his face.  Something inside the colonel told him there was more going on with the stoic archaeologist than just the effects of the virus.


Geez, look at him.  He's just lived through another nightmare, and he hasn't uttered a single complaint.  I know grunts who don't have his guts.  They whine and complain about everything, but Daniel just takes whatever is thrown at him like a veteran.  He acts like it's all in a day's work, which I guess it is in our line of business, but I still think my limping linguist is pretty amazing.

'My?'  Hmm.  Not sure why I said that.  Crazy choice of words.  Well, probably because he's on my team.  You know, my teammate.  Yeah.  So that makes him my linguist.

I think I'll yank Carter's chain for a minute about attacking me.  If I know the hormonal captain, she'll get nice and red faced, real embarrassed like.  It'll be like high school when my pal Erik would get us into some big trouble with the gals.  Erik would be proud of this little confab coming up, if he could see it, of course.  Then I'll bug my limping linguist for a while.  Nothing is more fun these days than driving Dannyboy up the proverbial tree.  Geez, it's good to be a colonel.


Here comes the colonel.  I am *so* embarrassed.  I threw myself at him.  Okay, he's a good looking man, but so is Daniel, and if I really had to choose, I'd ...

Tank top?  Very funny, Colonel.

Wow.  Talk about being anxious to get away.  He didn't even give me a chance to defend myself.  Ah, now I know why.  He's going after Daniel.  Poor man.  He's limping and looks pretty ragged.  Yummy, but ragged.

Samantha Carter, stop that.  Daniel is married.  Still, he's a darn good looking married man.  Why are all the good ones married?


Gawd, here he comes.  Yes, Jack, very funny.  I know I'm limping and look like Tiny Tim.  No, Jack, I knew who you meant.  Yes, Jack, the Charles Dickens character and not the tiptoeing through the tulips, funny-looking guy.  Cute?  Jack, you do not go around telling another guy that he looks cute.  Geez, you're military, for crying out loud.  No, it can't be.  I *can't* be sounding like Jack!

Yes, I am quite aware that I looked like a caveman when you found me in The Land of the Dark.  I have news for you, Pal, the last time I saw you at SGC, you were looking a little Cro-Magnon yourself.

Beer?  Pizza?  Why can't we have Chinese?  Someone spare me, please!

Sam, help me out here.  You do want to join us, don't you?  Oh ... you have a date.  Great timing, Sam.  Well, I guess an evening listening to Jack's weird sense of humor isn't so bad.  He almost makes me laugh.


Uh-oh.  He's looking back at me.  It's a plea for help.  Look at those droopy eyes.  Oooh, he's doing the pout, the bottom lip quivering just slightly.  Whatever 'torture' the colonel is putting him through must be bad.  No, Daniel, not the blinking eyes with the little boy lost look!  I'm a woman, for heaven's sake.  How am I supposed to resist that?  Okay, I'll be a pal and bite.

Whoa, sorry, but I'm not that much of a pal.  Sorry, Sir, I have a date.  Okay, so it's with my shampoo and conditioner, but a date is a date, and I'm very loyal.  Stop looking at me like that, Colonel.  I'm entitled to have a date.  No, you don't need to know who, er, what the date is with.

There goes the colonel again.  I wonder what he's going to talk to Teal'c about.


As you wish, O'Neill.  I am sorry.  I did apologize once already.  I did not intend to lose your archaeologist.  Indeed, I know he is invaluable to the SGC.  Yes, O'Neill, in the future I will not let DanielJackson out of my sight.

Yes, O'Neill, I am aware that he ignores common sense ... as you see it, though my honor as a Jaffa will not let me tell you that DanielJackson's common sense is often more logical than ...

Yes, O'Neill, I understand that DanielJackson needs a babysitter ... in your mind.  Yes, I do know that he lets his heart guide him and not his brain.  Yes, O'Neill, I know that if I were a Marine and not a big Jaffa you would be strangling me.

I am getting a Tau'ri headache.  I will go talk with CaptainCarter.


Aren't we at the Stargate yet?  Yes, Jack, I know I'm not supposed to go off on my own, but Teal'c was with me.  It's not my fault he wouldn't listen to me ... kinda like you don't listen to me, either.  What?  Jack, I couldn't just leave Melosha there.  Geez, Jack, what did you want me to do, drop her to the ground like a bag of potatoes?  I don't ...

What?  Follow orders?  In your dreams, O'Neill.  Regulations?  Huh?  What's wrong with my hair?  Hey, hands off my shag; you're messing it up.  So what if it's messy.  It's been a hard day.  Give me a break already.  Listen, Colonel, if you mock it, you have no right to touch it.  Watch it, or you'll be eating that pizza alone tonight.

Wow.  Did I just threaten Jack with my company, like I'm ... I'm some prize that someone would want to spend time with?  Weird.  Funny though, but in the short time since I've been back on Earth and staying with Jack, he does make me feel, I don't know, wanted.  I'm still waiting for him to kick me out of his house.  I wonder why he hasn't.

We may be polar opposites, but I'm man enough to admit that Jack O'Neill makes life almost fun ... sometimes ... almost.  Sometimes I almost forget my wife is out there, living her own nightmare ... almost.  Why is that?  How is it you can make me forget that, Jack?

What?  Hockey?  The New Jersey Devils game?  No, Jack, I draw the line at hockey.  Oh, on tape.  That's ... something, I guess.


Got him!  Beer, pizza, hockey, and a bit of stargazing up on the roof deck.  It'll be fun, take your mind off your troubles, Danny.  Hey, I am not trouble.  Smart aleck linguist!  If he wasn't limping, I'd ...

I'd better make sure the Doc checks him out thoroughly.  That's a pretty nasty limp, and he has some cuts I don't like.  He's going to be sore.  And that doesn't even include the beating I gave him earlier.  Hate myself for that.  I'll make it up to him somehow, but first, Fraiser gets a good crack at him.

Daniel always says he's fine, minimizes his pain, both physical and mental.  He's acting like this flashback to the Planet of the Apes was no big deal, but it was.  The Doc can help heal the cuts and bruises, but it's my job to heal the mind.  Whoa!  When did Daniel's mental health become my job?  Hmm, I am his CO and he's my responsibility.  Well, okay, so maybe it was the day I brought him home from the SGC.  He looked like a lost puppy dog that day.  You know me and dogs: they're my best friends.

I saw the loneliness in his eyes as he stood in that corridor, and I see the emotional havoc this situation has played on him in his eyes now.  Danny has the bluest eyes.  They talk to me, crazy as that sounds.  The point is, Daniel, you aren't fine.  Why do you always say that you are?  Someday, I'll get the answer to that question.

For now, my limping linguist, I'll settle on getting you so drunk that you won't remember any of this mess.  It'll be okay, Danny.  We can get through this.  There's always a way.

What?  Yeah.  I'm glad you're okay, too.  Let's go home.

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
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