No Yes No

Author:  Orrymain
Category:  Slash, Humor, Romance, Established Relationship
Pairing:  Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Rating:  PG-13
Season:  8 - September 17, 2005
Spoilers:  Citizen Joe
Size:  13kb, ficlet
Written:  June 29-30, July 1-2,4, 2008
Summary:  Jack's thing for peridot jeopardizes his night of love with Daniel.
Disclaimer:  Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't.  A gal can dream though!
Notes:  
1) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with ~ in front and behind them, such as ~Where am I?~
2) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better:  Tammy, Melissa, Sara, Keri, Linda!

No Yes No
by Orrymain

The lovers had just returned from a party at Janet Fraiser's house.  She always threw great bashes and had great turnouts.  There was no special occasion for the get-together; she just wanted a night out for the troops.  The guests were exclusively personnel from Cheyenne Mountain.

Somewhere along the line, Jack had decided to tell a story to the guests.  It had been entirely made up, not based on any event at all.  While the fictional tale amused most, the silver-haired man now found himself on the defense as he faced off with his lover, shortly after have returning home from the physician's party.

“No,” Jack stated firmly, his hands searching desperately for something to latch onto.  He just hated idle hands, though he had never really thought about why.  ~I'd think about it and try to figure it out, but I don't like to think, either.~

“Yes,” Daniel insisted with equal fervor as he stood opposite his husband in a stance that spoke of absolute confidence.

Jack stared for a moment, a hint of disbelief in his eyes, and then repeated, “No.”

“Yes,” the other man refuted quickly.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes,” Daniel insisted once again even before the 'o' in 'No' had been completed.

“Daniel, there is no way that ...” Jack stated stubbornly as he fumbled for a pillow on the sofa, since it was the only loose item that he could reach at the moment.

“Yes, you did, Jack,” the younger man asserted, blinking once with an air of authority about him.  “I remember that ridiculous story you told clearly, and you *did* say it.”

“It's just a color, for cryin' out loud,” the older man sighed, deciding he might as well give in, even if he didn't really remember exactly what he'd said.  ~Could have been crimson, for all I know.  I was tellin' a friggin' story.  Who knew he'd be listening?  Heck, I wouldn't listen to me if ...~

“Jack, are you paying attention here or ...”

“I'm ... listening,” Jack stated defensively, squeezing the accent pillow in his hands as if he were trying to strangle it.

“And put that down before you suffocate it,” the archaeologist ordered, pointing at the object his Love was holding.

“It's not alive.”  Seeing Daniel's glare, Jack reluctantly tossed the pillow on the sofa and then argued, “What's the big deal anyway?”

After a moment of thought, Daniel answered, “Follow me,” and headed upstairs to the couple's bedroom.  Once there, he pulled open a couple of his drawers and also the closet door.  Like a model on “The Price is Right,” he held out his arms to point to the various items of clothing and asked smugly, “What color are most of these?”

“Blue,” Jack answered nonchalantly.

“Why?” Daniel inquired with mock innocence.

Jack stumbled over his words and finally got out a mumbled, “They're your clothes.  You tell me.”  Realizing he wasn't going to get away with that response, he forced out, “I like blue.  I like *you* in blue.”

“And, therefore, considering this ... blue fetish of yours, something you've exhibited practically from the day we met, I might point out, would it not be logical to conclude that your favorite color is ... blue?”

Jack cocked his head back as he considered the question and then scrunched his face a bit as he admitted, “It might be a reasonable assumption.”

“Might be?” Daniel challenged curtly, glancing over at the abundance of blue-shaded shirts, pants, sweaters, and socks that were in his closet and drawers.

“Okay, it's blue,” Jack agreed, wanting this discussion to be over with.

Approaching his husband, the younger man asked forcibly, “Then *why* did you say your favorite color was peridot?”

“I didn't,” Jack corrected, a smirk on his face.

“You did so.”

“Did not.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Danny, you were stuffing your face with those Chinese dum dums.  I'm surprised you even heard what I said,” the general put forth, going on the attack in the hopes of surviving the debate without having to spend a night on the couch.

“Dim sum.”

“What?”

“Chinese dim sum, not dum dums,” Daniel corrected.

“Daniel!” Jack rebuked in frustration at the irrelevant correction.

“Jack!” the younger man countered, not backing down one inch.

“Daniel!”

“Jack,” Daniel replied calmly, his voice steady.

“*Daniel!*” the older man snapped.

“What?”

“I forgot,” Jack groaned, rubbing his face in the palm of his hands for a minute.

“You were accusing me of eating and not listening to your story.  It's called multi-tasking, and you should know that it's not difficult.  You stuff your face all the time during meetings.”

Jack smiled and raised his hand outward as he enthusiastically interjected, “A ha! You just made my point for me, Dannyboy.  I'm never listening at those meetings!”

Daniel's head dropped down, his eyes focused on the carpet in disbelief.  He wondered if he'd just imagined the response that he had just heard.

“Okay, so you heard, but it was just a story,” Jack pointed out.

“Did you see their faces when you said you had a thing for peridot?” Daniel asked lightheartedly.

“What's wrong with peridot?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Daniel answered as he shook his head quickly a couple of times.  “In fact, John's favorite color is green.”

“John?” Jack asked quizzically.

“John Carpenter -- from the Mountain?” Daniel queried innocently.  “He mentioned a few months ago that peridot is one of his favorite shades of green.”

“Carpenter?  That brainiac who's always watching your six when he thinks I'm not around?” Jack asked sharply about the openly gay civilian who was a member of the archaeologist's staff.  “Daniel, you are *never* allowed to wear peridot again.  In fact, you are never allowed to where green again,” he barked irrationally.

“Gawd, you get so jealous, so easily,” Daniel chuckled, shaking his head at the order which he had no intention of following.

Jack looked at his lover suspiciously and accused, “You made that up.”

Daniel shrugged and cocked his head to the side for a moment, a smirk on his face as his eyes shone with mischievousness.

The older man sighed, “I guess I deserved that.  Danny, I'm sorry ...”

“I know, and it's okay,” the younger man assured, cutting off his lover's next words and giving him a sweet kiss.  A moment later, he let out a chortle and commented, “That was a crazy story, Jack.”

“I thought of it when I was at the barber's yesterday.  I realized that's what Joe, the real Joe, does -- cuts hair and tells ridiculous stories.”  With amusement, Jack added, “I've been listening to his stories for years now.  I just thought he deserved a moment in the sun.”

“The ... real Joe wasn't even there, at the party.”

“It's the thought that counts,” Jack opined, smiling at his response.  “I immortalized him in story.”

“Right,” Daniel responded dryly, his eyes rolling at the logic.  “Uh, what was with the ascended thing?” Daniel asked.  “You don't normally even like to think about that dream we had, and you ... well, everyone knows that Jonas has never been your favorite person.”

“It was the whiskey.”

“Jack, you weren't drunk.”

“I had a bad moment,” the older man asserted.  Seeing his soulmate's stare, he clarified, “Had to review SG-9's latest visit with those arrogant, stubborn, un...”

“Jack, don't start,” Daniel interrupted.

With a nod, Jack continued, “It was the last thing I did before we left the Mountain.”

“That's a crazy rationalization.”

“Hey, I had Joe all excited when you came to rescue me, jumping up and clicking his heels in the air.”  Jack grinned as he expressed with amusement, “That was snappy!”

“Thank you,” Daniel responded, adding a hesitant, “I think.  You also hinted at a fling between you and Sam.”

“I did not.”

“You did, too.”

“Not,” Jack refuted.

“Too.”

“Not,” the older man argued with a frown.

“Jack ...”

“Daniel, all I had him say was that he wouldn't tell anyone about my feelings.  Then Carter walked in.  I was talking about you, but I couldn't exactly tell him that in my story, unless you wanted us to retire tonight.”

“I guess you have a point,” Daniel conceded, since the guests at the party included several base personnel who hadn't a clue about the couple's love affair.  In fact, some of them still thought Jack and Sam were an item.  ~I still hate that game we've had to play.  It's not that bad now, but for a while, it was horrible.~

“Of course, I do, did,” Jack stated.

“There was a flaw in your story, Love.”

“No, there wasn't.”

“Yes, there was,” Daniel claimed.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No,” Jack maintained with a disbelieving scowl.

“Yes,” Daniel repeated with a bob of his head.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Daniel, enough!  There wasn't a flaw.  It was the perfect tale of Joe the barber getting a glimpse of SG-1 because of that doohickey you messed with on 233.”

“But there was a flaw in your story.”

“Prove it.”

Smiling curtly, Daniel explained, “Babe, in the story, when Joe broke into the house and pointed that gun at you, you didn't know who he was, right?”

“Right.”

“You were going to call the police and turn him in.”

“I thought he was nuts,” Jack opined about his feelings in the fable, watching with a bit of alarm as his husband grinned.

“Then why, at the end of your story, did you say that you had, for years, in fact, seen Joe's life in your mind, just like he'd seen yours?”

Jack started to answer, but then he stopped, a painful grimace of defeat on his face.

“Crap!”

Daniel chuckled, “If you'd been seeing Joe bowling and ... whatever you said, you would have recognized him right away, and there wouldn't have been any need for him to point out your love of 'The Simpsons' and Mary Steenburgen, not to mention your *thing* for peridot.”

“Enough with the peridot already.”

“But ...”

Holding out his finger towards the other man's face, Jack sputtered, “Ut!  Ut!”  He moved closer to his husband, looking into the cerulean blue eyes that were the oceans of Daniel's soul.  “Blue is my favorite color,” he proclaimed before placing a tender kiss on his Love's lips.  “My thing for peridot pales in comparison.”

“I'm glad to hear that.  I'd hate to have to go shopping for a new wardrobe.  I've gotten used to all that blue,” Daniel teased.

“I'd be blue if you did,” Jack joked, causing Daniel to groan.  “Bad?”

“You've done better.”

“Maybe,” Jack replied.

“You have,” Daniel responded.

“Sometimes,” the older man stated.

“Frequently.”

“Daniel.”

“Jack.”

“I have an idea,” Jack stated, causing the man who was his heart to smile, knowing exactly what his Love was suggesting.

“I like that idea,” Daniel affirmed vocally.

“I like it even better.”

“No,” Daniel asserted.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes!” Daniel stated sharply.

“No.”

“Yes, Jack.”

“Two of my favorite words,” Jack mused cockily as he wrapped Daniel in his arms and started walking backwards, stopping every couple of steps to kiss his sexy and alluring soulmate.

“Yes, Jack,” Daniel replied as they bounced down onto the bed.

“Love you, Angel.”

“And those are *my* favorite words.  Love you, too,” Daniel said before the spoken word was silenced by the physical language of the lovers' bodies.

Jack's tale forgotten, the soulmates got lost in their love and their nation of two, where the word 'no' was seldom heard.

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
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