Playtime on PBJ

Author: Orrymain and special guest co-author, Claudia!
Category: Slash, Angst, Humor, Romance, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Rating:  PG-13
Season:  5 - November 7-9, 2001
Spoilers:  None
Size:  31kb, short story
Written:  March 26-29, April 4, 2004  Revised:  March 22, 2008, July 31, 2009
Summary:  While on a strange planet, the female inhabitants take a special liking to Daniel.  Are the women what they seem to be?  Will Daniel fall under their spell?
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't.  A gal can dream though!
Notes:
1) Sometimes, Jack and Daniel speak almost telepathically.  Their “silent” words to each other are indicated by asterisks instead of quotes, such as **Jack, we can't.**
2) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with ~ in front and behind them, such as ~Where am I?~
3) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better:  QuinGem, Drdjlover, Linda!

Playtime on PBJ
by Orrymain and Claudia

“Daniel, what is that?” Jack questioned.

“What that?” the archaeologist responded.

“That what!”

“What is what?” the confused scientist queried innocently.

“*That*!” Jack exclaimed as he pointed into the woods.

“Um, it looks like ... woods, Jack.”

Jack grunted in consternation before clarifying, “Not the woods.  *That* ... that ... creature.”

“Jack, all I see are ... trees and leaves and .... trees.”

“Are you blind?” the frustrated older man retorted.

Daniel glared at his Love and asked, “Have you been drinking some of that juice Liea gave us last night?”

“Daniel, I'm telling you there's a, a thing over there.”

“Right, Jack.”

“Daniel, it's right ...” Jack looked around, frowning at the lack of being able to see what he'd been talking about.  “Well, it was ...”  He paused, seeing the doubting look on his Love's face.  “I am *not* making this up.  There was this little ... bear or something.”

“Bear?”

“Yes, a bear!”

With a gentle tone, Daniel responded, “Jack, why don't you sit down and rest?  The sun on this planet is very intense.”

“You don't believe me,” Jack responded, sounding about five years old and looking very forlorn.

Daniel laughed and confessed, “Yes, I do.  I saw it.  It's called a gobix, and it's ... kind of like a bear.”

“You saw it, and you let me think ...?”  Jack stood up, his eyes lit with fire.  “You are *so* going to get yours.”

Ignoring protocol, Jack put down his P-90 and chased Daniel into the woods.

====

After their impromptu playtime in the woods, Jack and Daniel headed for the village where SG-1 was staying.  As they approached, Jack noticed that the streets seemed to be lined with women.  In fact, so far on this planet, they had only seen women.

~Okay, Ladies, hands off.  He's spoken for,~ Jack groaned internally.  Apparently, while the three men of SG-1 were a curiosity, Daniel appeared to have attracted the heart of every female.  ~Look, I understand, but back off,~ he thought while observing all the ogling that was going on.  The colonel was struggling big time as he tried to prevent himself from making a public declaration that Daniel was his and off limits to everyone else.  ~I could retire early.  I've done it before.~

Sam and Teal'c were waiting for their teammates to report in about their progress.  They had just begun their report, when they heard a seductive female voice calling out.

“Danyel.”

The teammates looked up to see Kelin, the leader of the village, beckoning them over, or rather, beckoning Daniel over.

Jack realized quickly that the rest of SG-1 was just along for the ride.  He noticed Daniel looking at him, a faint trace of amusement in his expression.

“What?”

“Jack, you just growled,” Daniel pointed out.

“I did not!”

“You did.”

“You're imagining things, Daniel,” an increasingly perturbed Jack claimed as he looked menacingly at the crowd of giggling females.

**I'm not, Love.  You growled,** the archaeologist insisted, switching to the couple's special non-verbal communication ability.

**I'm telling ya, Danny, she wants you.**

**It's too bad for her that I'm taken then, isn't it?**

Daniel gave Jack a shy smile that forced the colonel to look away and think of cold showers.

~Something is wrong here,~ Jack thought as he grew more serious while the couple made their way through the village.  “Daniel, we need to find out what happened to the men.  These women aren't able to maintain this place.  It may be a village, but look at the equipment and machines.  No offense, Carter,” Jack glanced at his 2IC, “but I just don't buy that they are running this place.”

“I agree, Sir.  They don't seem inclined to talk about anything other than ... hair and ...”

“Don't say it, Carter.”

“They are fascinated with DanielJackson, O'Neill,” Teal'c stated with an hidden smile on his stoic face.

“Teal'c, I just said not to say that.”

“No, you told MajorCarter not to say 'it'.  I did not say 'it', O'Neill.  I said that ...”

“Never mind, Teal'c.”

====

A few hours later, the team was at a gathering in the center of town.  As usual, the men seemed to be the center of attention, though Daniel stood out.  This left Sam free to do a bit of exploring.

Kelin seemed to be making some sort of proposal to the women.  Although the women spoke English, they were using their native tongue during this meeting.  As far as Daniel could work out, the language was formed from derivatives of Latin, Ancient Greek and Hebrew.  Although he could not understand every word that was spoken, he could understand some of it.

Jack was not happy.  He might not understand the language, but he knew Daniel's name when he heard it, and he was hearing it a lot during this particular meeting.

“Daniel, what are they talking about?”  Jack kept his voice low, his gaze fixed on the women.  When Daniel didn't answer him, he turned to look at his lover, surprised to find Daniel blushing.  “Daniel?”  There was a hint of amusement, concern, fear and irritation in the word.  ~He's not supposed to look like that here.~

“They're talking about me.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Jack acknowledged with a hint of annoyance in his voice, “but what I want to know is *what* are they saying?”

**That I'm intelligent, that my presence here could benefit them.**

**Over my dead body are they getting any benefits from you!**

**Jack.**

**No benefits, Danny.  They're mine.**

====

Meanwhile, Sam roamed the streets, looking inside buildings and examining objects she'd found.  Thirty minutes later, she returned to the center of the action and worked her way to her CO.

“Sir, we need to talk.”

It wasn't hard for Jack to gain a bit of privacy.  He simply started talking about Daniel, and the women seemed to flock over to the younger man.  He cringed, but jealousy would have to come after duty.

“Okay, Carter, what'd you find out?”

“Sir, there have definitely been men here.  There are clothes and even photographs in some of the homes.  In fact, some homes seem to have a number of photos of men lined up like some kind of ...” Sam shrugged.

“Some kind of what, Carter?”

“I have a funny feeling about this.  It's the way they have the photos arranged, not on a mantle or with children, but with ... things ... like a ... Sir, like a collection.”

“Great.  We're a hobby.”

“There's something else, Sir.”

“And that is ...?”

“In some of the houses, a few of the photos of the males are encased in, I guess you'd call it a shrine, or altar, and I couldn't help but notice that all those men had a similarity.”

“And ...?”  Jack was growing impatient.

“They look like Daniel, Sir.”

Jack looked over at the women surrounding his lover and called out commandingly, “*Daniel.  Time to go.”

====

“Jack?  Jack!”

After trying and failing to get Jack to slow his hike back to the Stargate and talk about Sam's discovery, Daniel had had enough.  He stopped, took off his pack and sat down.

“Daniel, get up.”

Daniel wondered how Jack could do that.  He knew his lover didn't have eyes in the back of his head, but it certainly felt like it at times.  Jack hadn't even turned around when he'd issued his order.

“No.”

Stopping and finally turning around, Jack reiterated, “Daniel, get up.  That's an order.”

“Jack, I'll get up when you agree to talk about this.”

Jack gave out a frustrated sigh and looked hopefully at Carter and Teal'c for backup.  It seemed they had decided discretion was the better part of valor and were carefully looking everywhere but at Jack and Daniel.

~Oh, no you don't,~ the colonel thought about his other two teammates.  “Carter?”  He saw the reluctancy with which Sam looked at him, but chose to ignore it.  “Do you agree with Daniel?  Should we stay on this planet even though we know he is likely to be a target?”

Sam shuffled her feet nervously.  The colonel was giving her one of his famous glares, the 'if you know what's good for you, you'll agree with me' look.

“Ah, actually, Sir, I think Daniel has a point.  I think this planet might have some technology we could use and ... and ... with Daniel here, we have a better chance of finding out exactly how advanced they are.”

Jack scowled at her and looked at his stubborn linguist.  Daniel just looked beseechingly at him.

“Teal'c?” Jack heard the plea in his own voice, and his scowl deepened at his weakness.  ~What that man does to me.~

“I concur with MajorCarter and DanielJackson.”

“Fine.  Daniel, you don't leave my side.  Teal'c, don't take your eyes off him,” Jack snapped and began stalking back to the village.

**It's the right thing to do,** Daniel declared as he stood up.  **Thank you.**

**So help me, Daniel, if you come out of this with one hair out of place ...**

**I'm sorry, Jack.  I don't want to put you through this, but ...**

**I know, it's our job.**  Jack glanced back, letting his eyes say what only his mind and heart could at the moment.  **Space Monkey, I love you.**

**I love you, too, My Silver Fox.**

====
 
“Danyel, you have come back!” Kelin exclaimed with delight.

Within seconds, Daniel was surrounded by the women.  Smaller groups huddled around Jack and Teal'c, but mostly, it was Daniel who had their attention.

Nervously, the inquisitive archaeologist stated, “Um, Kelin.  I need to ask you a few questions.”

“Anything, Danyel.”

“Where are the men?” Daniel questioned curiously.

“Men?” Kelin responded, looking over at the other women and shrugging as she did so.

“Males.”

“Males?”

“Um, the others, like me, and Jack and Teal'c.”

Kelin looked at Daniel blankly, shaking her head.

Daniel elaborated, “Look, in our culture, you and your friends are called women or females.  You all have certain ... characteristics.” He blushed slightly, trying to discreetly point out Kelin's figure and breasts.  “And people like me, Jack and Teal'c,” he continued, “are called men or males.  We, too, have certain, uh, characteristics; uh, but our characteristics are ... different.”

Kelin smiled blankly at Daniel, not comprehending his words.

“So, Kelin, men.  You must have men here,” Daniel asserted.

“Maybe you should visit the Gallery of Uhlans.”

“Uhlans?  Horse Cavalry?” Daniel questioned as he looked around, feeling more confused than ever.  “Where is this gallery?”

“It is in the Great Tunnel of Cavendish.”

“Cavendish?  Who is Cavendish?”

“Sounds like an English waiter,” Jack snarked, having covertly wandered over close enough to listen in to the conversation.

“Jack, go away!” Daniel ordered his lover.  When Jack had returned to his prior spot next to Teal'c, the archaeologist smiled apologetically at Kelin for the interruption.  “Who is Cavendish, Kelin?”

“He is the greatest of the Uhlan.  All comes from Cavendish.”

“Ohhhkay, and where is the Great Tunnel?”

“I will show you.”

“Good!  Let me get my friends,” Daniel replied happily, making a motion towards his teammates.

“No, just you.”

Daniel looked back.  He saw Teal'c watching him closely, while Jack was now involuntarily involved in a discussion with three of the women villagers who kept tugging on him.  Daniel gave the Jaffa a 'help' look as he stood up to go with Kelin.  As Kelin led him away, the archaeologist hoped Teal'c got the message.  He was going to communicate with his lover silently, but Kelin was involving him in a discussion, and he just couldn't focus on both.

--

At about the same time, Sam was trying to question her CO's clinging women with Jack listening in.

“Ah, excuse us,” Sam requested, pulling Jack aside.  “Did you hear what they said?”

Jack blinked, aware that even though he was listening, his mind had wandered.  He'd missed bits and pieces of it.

“What?” Jack asked.  He watched as his 2IC shuffled her feet nervously.  “Come on, Carter, spit it out.”

“I, uh, I think they see men as ... as ...”

“As what, Carter?”

“Animals.”  Sam saw Jack raise his eyebrows in a manner befitting Teal'c and hurried on with her explanation.  “Treasured animals, though, um, kind of like pets.”

“Pets?  Sweet.”

Just as Sam finished speaking, Teal'c caught their attention, calling out, “O'Neill,” and inclining his head slightly towards the departing Daniel and Kelin.

~Danny!~  In the distance, the colonel could see Daniel and Kelin, alone, walking away from the village.  “Daniel, I am going to kill you when I get my hands on you,” he muttered under his breath.  Forcefully, he ordered, “Teal'c, Carter, you stay here and dig around some more.  The sooner we get off this planet the better.  I'll go and retrieve our errant archaeologist."

With that, Jack stalked off after his lover, jogging double-time to catch up.

~I swear, Danny, I'm going to put you on a leash every time we go through that blasted Gate.  Maybe a blue one, to match your eyes.  Or maybe I'll get one of those tracking devices they use to locate animals in the wild.  Yeah, that's the way to go.  I'm sure I can get Hammond to agree.~

====

“Daniel,” Jack called out when he was within a few feet of his lover and Kelin.  He considered staying back and just following, but then he changed his mind, not wanting to take chances with his partner.  **You're so dead.**

“Hey, Jack,” Daniel replied casually.  **Gawd, I was afraid Teal'c didn't see me leave.**

**We are *so* going to have a discussion later, Daniel.**  Nonchalantly, Jack asked, “Where ya goin'?”

“Kelin is going to show me, I mean us, the Gallery of the Uhlans, which is in the Gallery of the Cavendish.”

“And you know what that is?”

“Actually, I have no idea, but we'll find out soon.”

“I can only take you, Danyel,” Kelin interjected.

“Sorry, Kelin, but Jack is my commanding officer, and if he insists, then I can't go without him,” Daniel stated feeling quite smug in his own unique way.  **See, Babe.  I'm following orders.**

“And I do insist,” Jack stated strongly.  **We'll discuss your order following skills later.**

“It would be against the rules.  It is only for Danyel.”

“We're a package deal, Kelin.  Take us both, or leave us both, but ... 'Danyel' isn't going anywhere without me.”

“Cavendish will not be pleased.”

“Kelin,” Daniel began with a hint of urgency.  “Cavendish is alive?”

“All things come from Cavendish.”

**We need to see this, Jack,** Daniel advised the other man.

**Not going alone, Danny.**

“Um, Kelin, isn't there ever a time when you can bring more than one?”

Kelin thought for a moment and then admitted, “Yes, only if the two are one.”

“Excuse me?” Jack asked.

“If the two are as one, as Selena and Tynia are.  They are as one.”

**I've met them, Jack.  They are two people,** Daniel informed his lover  “Kelin, when you say two as one, you mean ... together?  Married?”

“Married?  I do not know this term.  Together, yes, as one spirit, for the expanses of all tomorrows.”

“Love?” Daniel asked.

Kelin smiled and affirmed, “That which is in the heart, yes.  The joy within that combines one with another.  If two are one, they may go to the gallery together, but that is the only exception.”

“Okay, lady.  You got it.  Danny here and I ... we're two as one.”

Kelin looked at Daniel in surprise, asking, “Is this so?  You are hymengninay?”

Daniel worked his knowledge of the language of the inhabitants, mumbling, “Hymengninay.  Hymeneal?  Um ...”

**Danny, why are you hesitating?** Jack questioned.

**She means married.**

**What the heck.  Just say yes.**

Daniel shrugged and asserted, “Um, yes, Kelin.  We are hymengninay.”

“I must see.”

“Oh for crying out loud,” Jack responded.

Without giving Daniel a moment to prepare, Jack scooped his soulmate into his arms and kissed him long and hard, causing Daniel to moan and totally forget where they were and what they were doing.

“Oh, Jack, yes,” Daniel moaned, leaning in for another kiss.

“See, Kelin.  We are ... hymingawhatever.”

“Oh, gawd.  I hate it when I do that,” Daniel sighed as his senses came back to him.

“I don't,” Jack replied, smiling with satisfaction.  **I'm the only one in the world who can make you forget you've got a brain.  Geez, I love that.**

**Arrogant.**

**You love me.**

**Incredibly, it's true,** the younger man admitted.

“Very well.  Follow me.  I will take you to the wall,” Kelin instructed.

====

It took ten minutes, but on the fringe of the village, the three came to a doorway that seemed to lead into a mountain.

“This is where we enter,” Kelin instructed.

Taking a deep breath, the two men prepared to go inside, but Kelin stopped them.

“I must warn you.  If you are one, you must always be together.  If Cavendish determines you have deceived him, you will be punished.  You must connect.”  Kelin put Jack's and Daniel's hands together.  “To let go, would not be good.”

Jack and Daniel exchanged a glance and then rearranged their hands for a better hold, one more normal to them.  With a nod they were ready, the trio walked through the doorway.

====

As soon as the three stepped through the door, Jack knew he'd have to keep a firm grip on his lover's hand.  They appeared to be in some sort of cave, the walls of which were covered in what looked like prehistoric paintings.  Daniel was fascinated by them, and was already walking towards them, forgetting to hold onto Jack's hand.  Fortunately, Jack did not forget and gripped his soulmate's hand even tighter as he followed his absentminded archaeologist.

“Jack, look,” Daniel requested as he pointed to some of the paintings.  “These are like rock drawings on Earth.  They show the lives of the tribes, the different tasks that come with each of the seasons.”

“Come.  Cavendish is waiting,” Kelin stated as she stood in front of a stone altar that looked strangely familiar.

Jack tugged on Daniel's hand and led him over to the altar, though Daniel still focused on the paintings.

“Ah, Jack?” Daniel called out even as he allowed himself to be led over to Kelin.  “I think I know who Cavendish might be.”

Before Jack had a chance to respond, Kelin pressed a carving on the altar and the three were transported to a vast stone hall.

====

Still clutching Daniel's hand, Jack looked around.  The hall seemed to be completely empty except for a circular stone dais in the middle of it.  Kelin was kneeling before it, her hands extended out in supplication.

“Daniel, do you have any idea what's going on?” the colonel asked his cultural expert.

“I think we're about to see a recording.”

“What?”

“Keep watching the dais,” Daniel advised.  “If I'm right, any minute a holographic recording will start playing.”

Almost as soon as Daniel finished speaking, a light flickered and a life like figure stood before them.

“Cavendish, I presume,” Jack said with an English accent.

“I am Cavendish.  How dare you ...”

Still holding Jack's hand, Daniel surprised Kelin by going to the wall and pulling out the controls.  After a bit of shifting, the hologram disappeared.  Moments later, a very familiar creature appeared.

~What's he doing?~  Jack had watched in amazement at what his lover was doing, but his emotions soon took a swift change.  “Thor?  Oh, for crying out loud!” he exclaimed, twisting around for a moment as relief set in.  “I thought we were in trouble here.”

“O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, what are you doing on Ludio?” the Asgard questioned, surprised at seeing the two Tau'ri before him.

“Ludio?  Now this makes sense.”

“What?  Huh?” Jack responded, not understanding anything at all right now.

“Ludio: it's Latin for play, like a game,” the linguist explained.

“A game?” Jack questioned in disbelief.  “Thor, what kind of place is this?”

“It is a play world for the people of Playsiklsbeilskja.”

“Playsi... Let's just call it PBJ,” Jack suggested.

“As you wish,” Thor agreed.

The next remark surprised Jack and even Daniel.

“Hey, what's going on?  Thor, you promised my group a full month of relaxation here.  Who are these dudes who interrupted our game?”

Jack looked at Kelin in surprise.  She now appeared to be a different person.  In fact, she was.  Her appearance had changed dramatically into another type of lifeform.

“What the heck is going on here?” Jack asked.

“It's ... Disneyland, Jack, for who or what exactly, I'm not sure, but ...”

“Doctor Jackson is correct, O'Neill.”  Thor looked at Kelin and inquired, “Why did you bring them here?”
 
“Danyel is of great intelligence.  We came to request that he be allowed to join our game.  Liea is very taken with him.”

Daniel felt himself tugged closer to Jack.

“Why haven't we been invited here before?” Jack saw Thor's stare, at least it looked like a stare, to his query.  “Too young?”

“Way too young, Jack, if my guess is right,” Daniel interjected, still holding his Love's hand.

“Uh, Thor?” Jack asked as he arched his eyebrows and raised Daniel's hand in his.

Thor nodded, explaining, “The game has been halted.  You and your people must leave, O'Neill.”

“I really wish someone would explain this to me; and, hey, I want to play!”  As Jack took a breath, Thor took the opportunity to vanish.  “Hey!  Where'd you go?  I wasn't finished, Thor!”

Daniel smiled at Jack's indignation.  No one at the SGC liked being called 'young' by the advanced races they'd met, but Jack seemed to hate it the most, especially from races like the Asgard and the Nox.  Those two allies in particular meant it so genuinely with no offense intended that it was impossible to hold their words against them.

The lovers looked at Kelin, or the lifeform that had been Kelin.  She was still the same height and shape as she had been, but instead of skin, she seemed to have an almost translucent leathery membrane which was thick enough to appear a grayish white.  Her eyes were the same shape, but looked like they had been turned ninety degrees.  All in all, her appearance was just human enough and just different enough to be really disturbing.  Jack was very relieved when she morphed back into her all human guise.

“So ...” Jack's words were cut off as they were transported back to the cave they had first entered.  Observing Kelin stalking out of the doorway, he opined, “I think someone's a little upset that we messed up her game.”

“Come on, Jack.”  Daniel tried tugging his hand free, but Jack refused to let it go.  “Ah, Jack, I don't think we have to hold hands anymore.”

**Yeah, we do.**

**Ah, why?** Daniel asked.

**Because I like holding hands with you, Angel.**
 
**Sap.**

**You know it, Babe,** Jack responded with an upbeat communication.

Jack and Daniel shared a warm and loving smile, and then Daniel urged softly, “Let's go, Jack.  Sam and Teal'c are probably worried sick about us.”

====

“So this is essentially a playground for alien races?” Sam asked Daniel.

“More or less, but it's a very complicated playground.  Jack isn't going to like this ...”

“Hey, I'll say what it is I do or don't like ...” Jack began.

“Right,” Daniel interrupted.  “As I was saying, the more complex and sophisticated the mind, the greater the need for play, and along with that, the method of play.”

“Oh, so we're too young to play here.  Is that what you're saying?” Jack questioned.

“I told you that you wouldn't like it.”

Jack scowled and responded, “This is right out of an episode of 'Star Trek' -- you know, the one with the white rabbit.”

“You are correct, O'Neill,” Thor stated, surprising everyone by popping in.

“Thor, good buddy.  You've come back,” the colonel greeted, hoping to get some more answers now.

“I am sorry I left so suddenly before, but I had to ... arrange new recreation for Kelin and her people.”

“Thor, are you a Trekker?” Jack asked, astonished Thor had answered his question.

“One of our allies did research on Earth for a time.  They were undercover, as you might say, O'Neill.  During that time, our operative had ... ties with the TV show.  Many of their ideas are based on reality.”

“Get out of town!  Trek is real?” Jack asked enthusiastically, though Thor said nothing in reply.  All he did was glare at the colonel, a rebuke in his stare that seemed to say 'didn't you hear what I just said?'.  Jack cleared his throat.  “Sweet!”

“Thor, why were there likenesses of Daniel in the houses?” Sam couldn't but ask, her gaze making sure to avoid Jack's stare.

“The games require a guide.  As you saw, the game was being played in the guise of humans.  Kelin's people found Doctor Jackson most attractive when we described his physical appearance and intellect, so we used his form.  We did not anticipate that you would ever know about this place and assumed it would be of no consequence if we used his likeness.”

While Daniel was beet red, Jack wasn't sure whether to be outraged or amused.

“I have reprogrammed the settings on the planet to be in line with your ... level of play, O'Neill.  You are welcome to stay for two Earth days.  You might find it very pleasurable.”

“Thor,” Daniel began, “What about others?  Can they come ... play?”

“The Tau'ri are welcome for the next two days.  No harm will come to anyone.  The settings are on low and being monitored.  I must go.”

Before anyone could say anything more, Thor again disappeared.

“On low?” Jack groaned as he pulled back in disbelief, causing his teammates to laugh.  “I don't know why I like that little gray guy; he's always insulting us.  We're the ones that saved their little gray butts from the Replicators.  We ...”  The silver-haired man trailed off mid-sentence when he realized that his teammates had stopped listening to him and were heading back to the Stargate.  “Hey!  Wait for me.”

The rest of SG-1 paused, the three exchanging looks that said, “I suppose we should.”

Jack caught up to his team, still muttering, only now the theme of his utterances had changed.

“I'm the colonel, but you wouldn't know it.  No one respects me, takes orders ...”

“You're the Tony Stewart of the SGC,” Daniel opined.  “Haven't you finished whining yet, Jack?”

“I never should have introduced you to NASCAR,” Jack sighed.  “I'll have you know, Doctor Jackson, that Air Force colonels don't whine.”

Daniel raised his eyebrows while thinking, ~That's so not true.~

“That is not so, O'Neill.  I have heard you whine on many occasions.”

~Thank you, Teal'c.  I'll have to buy you some new candles for the support,~ Jack silently snarked.  “I do not whine, Teal'c.  I make legitimate complaints and suggestions as to the way my time and abilities are used.”

A sarcastic snort from Daniel was the only response to that.  Fortunately, Jack was saved from making a response by their arrival at the Stargate.  A few moments later, they were in communication with the SGC.

“Repeat that, Colonel,” General Hammond's disbelieving voice was transmitted through the MALP.

“We've been invited to spend two days at 'Thorworld,' otherwise called Disneyland, the next generation.”

“Colonel ...” General Hammond began, sounding somewhat annoyed.

“Sorry, Sir,” Jack apologized.  “We seem to have discovered an intergalactic playground run by the Asgard.  Thor has allowed us two days playtime here.  We thought some of the troops could use a break, and it might be good experience for some of the new recruits.”

“It's safe?”

“It's run by the Asgard, Sir.  I really don't think it could be safer,” Sam answered on Jack's behalf.

“Very well, SG-1.  You may remain for the next two days.  I'll see who we can spare from here and who would like to join you.”

“Thank you, Mon General.”  The transmission ended, and Jack turned to his teammates.  “Playtime, kids.”

====

“This is great fun, Danny,” Jack spoke jovially two days later.

“It sure is, Jack.”

“I still say we could have spent more time with those gorgeous babes by the beach!”

“Jack, I have no desire to spend time with any gorgeous babe except for you.”

“Ah, Danny,” Jack responded, his voice soft.

The two had found a secluded little part of “Thorworld” to enjoy some private time.  They were sunning themselves on yet another beach, one of many the planet had to offer.  Daniel was preparing a lunch for them, something simple and befitting their time on “Thorworld.”

“Thorworld” was in fact very like Disneyland, albeit much more high tech.  Every game imaginable could be played with extra people, male or female, being provided when necessary.

Yesterday, they had spent time playing volleyball on the beach, the men of the SGC against Sam and Jack's “Gorgeous Babes”; they'd engaged in a kind of paint ball, except they flew small gliders and a 'hit' would result in one's glider falling gently to the ground; and there were numerous rides as well as both physical and intellectual games and puzzles.

“So, Love.  You want to reconsider your comments about those babes on the beach?”

“Definitely, you're my one and only babe and,” Jack chuckled, “I've got you, Babe.”

Daniel smiled, until Jack spoke again.

“Of course, those voluptuous women did have ...” Jack began.

Jack's words were cut off by the insertion of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich stuffed into his mouth.  Jack slowly worked to eat it.

“I'm hungry, too, Love.  I love peanut butter, especially right ... here ...”

With that, the couple's time in “Thorworld” became X-rated as Daniel taught his lover the best way ever to eat peanut butter and jelly on Planet PBJ.

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
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