WasherGate

Author: Orrymain
Category: Slash, Drama, Romance, Missing Scene, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Rating: PG-13
Season: Beyond the Series - January 17, 2020 (Reference to S1 - March 13-15, 1997)
Spoilers: Emancipation, Wormhole X-treme! (extremely minor)
Written: February 24-25, March 1,3, 2021
Summary: The story of Captain Samantha Carter and SG-1's experience on Simarka as told in a very unusual and public way, thanks to the Jackson-O'Neill children.
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. A gal can dream though!

WasherGate
by Orrymain

The Jackson-O'Neill homestead was packed with guests, more than normal for their stage productions. This was due to special in-person invites made by the brood to current and past personnel of Cheyenne Mountain. In fact, there were so many SGC staff present that Jack and Daniel began to feel like they weren't retired anymore. The couple spent a lot of time greeting the audience and catching up on old times, but now they stood off to the rear and simply watched as SGC crew mingled with neighbors, J-O Enterprise employees, and plenty of family friends, including the usual surrogate extended family members.

"Jack, are you sure about this?" Daniel asked, his arms folded tightly across his chest.

"Plausible deniability," Jack replied. "Besides, no one's going to think it's real."

"Excuse me, but, uh, two-thirds of the room *knows* it's real, or, at least, some of it."

"The rest will just think it's fantasy."

"You're sure?"

"Sure, I'm sure." Jack smirked as he glanced at his Love and prompted, "Remember 'Wormhole X-treme'?"

"Do I have to?"

Jack chuckled and then noted, "That thing still pops up in reruns. No one thinks it's real."

"You haven't read the conspiracy theories online, have you?"

"Online?"

Daniel nodded, "There's a whole group of people who think it's real and the government is covering up."

"Do they now?" Jack replied in full Irish brogue. "Plausible deniability," he repeated.

The archaeologist sighed and then pondered, "I wonder how Martin is."

"Don't say that out loud," the silver-haired man warned. "The kids might hear and find him. If they knew about him, they probably would have found him and invited him to this little play."

"Oh, gawd," Daniel spoke with amusement. "This could be his next big science fiction hit on television."

Jack cackled, "Wouldn't Carter love that?"

Both men stared at the other, shook their heads, and left behind all memories of the adventure on the cult classic, "Wormhole X-treme."

====

The house lights flickered on and off, signaling for the audience to take their seats. They were all excited to see the play unfold. Most loved the various Jackson-O'Neill family productions that they'd attended in years past and they expected this to be another fun experience. The first timers, who were mostly personnel from Cheyenne Mountain, weren't sure what they were about to see, but they simply couldn't turn down the special invitation they'd received.

Indeed, with the hesitant permission of their parents, several of the brood went to Cheyenne Mountain and personally asked several personnel to attend the production. Others were contacted by phone or e-mail. Some of these included General Hank Landry, Nyan (the alien from Bedrosia, who often babysat the Munchkins and the twins when at the Mountain), and Sergeant Siler now retired.

As often was the case at the beginning of family plays, Jeff walked to the center of the stage to make the opening remarks while Brianna brought the lights up somewhat.

"Thank you for coming to our latest production," Jeff began. "I realize we're a little more crowded this evening than normal, but we really wanted to include a lot of friends from Cheyenne Mountain. Also, we've included many of our family and friends in the production to make it more ... real." The young man laughed, even though he was fully aware the audience, as yet, had no clue why his words were amusing. "It was also necessary, for the first time, to use a projection screen in the course of the play. You'll understand why as we go along, and our hope is that even though it's a bit clumsy, since we only have the stage and a bit of room on the side to present our play, that you'll be able to fully enjoy the night. Again, it's great to see everyone, and if you need anything, just reach out to one of the ushers. Raise your hands, ushers!"

Various extended family members such as Pete Shanahan, Maddie Wilson, and Janet Fraiser did as asked so everyone knew who they were.

"On with the show!" Jeff called out enthusiastically.

The lights lowered again and the play began with words being spoken off-stage by Jack, Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c. Also included was Sergeant Walter Davis, who had told Lulu upon being asked to take part in the show, that he wouldn't miss it. This was Davis' first to attend one of the Jackson-O'Neill events.

"Activate the Gate," Jack shouted from the back of the room, a standing microphone enabling his and the other voices to be heard throughout the recreation, hospitality, and living rooms where guests might be situated throughout the evening.

"Pre-wash engaged," Davis called out, trying not to laugh.

"Gotta get out those germs," Jack snicked into the mic.

"Wash cycle engaged," Davis announced.

"Sir, we've been having issues with the wash cycle," Sam stated, unable to keep a straight face, but pleased she wasn't laughing or visible to the audience as yet.

"What's the problem?" Jack asked. "If it's not safe, we should abort."

"Speed. If it doesn't agitate fast enough, we could end up in ... Disneyland," the blonde answered.

"Works for me," Jack replied.

"He has a thing for Mickey Mouse," Daniel told his teammates.

"What is a Mickey Mouse?" Teal'c asked, as stoic looking as ever.

"I'll tell you later," Jack replied. "This is taking a long time."

"If it doesn't start to spin soo..." Sam's words were cut off when Davis said the rinse cycle was engaged. "Close, but it should be okay now."

"So glad you understand how this thing works."

"Years of study," Sam responded with a proud smile as she ignored Jack's playful raising of his eyebrows.

"So, uh, the germs are gone, the wash cycle makes the thing agitate, and now we're ... purging out the bad stuff?" Daniel inquired.

"All kinds of chemicals and radiation, yes," Sam answered. "Didn't we go over this before? This isn't our first mission."

"Just ... being educational," Daniel replied innocently.

"Spin cycle ... locked," the sergeant called out.

Right on cue, General Hammond spoke into the mic, "TP-1, you have a go. God Bless!"

"Thank you, Sir," Jack replied, feeling an odd sense of nostalgia and gratitude for the man's words, which those in the play knew was an ad lib. "Move out," he ordered.

On the extreme left of the stage, a large crate was standing. It was crafted to look like a front-loading washing machine and was painted white on the outside, but was black on what was apparently the inside. An audio played, making all the sounds of the supposed machine. Enhanced with special noise tracks, when the revolutions per minute made it seem that the machine was at its ultimate speed, Jack, Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c walked through the crate door and appeared on stage for the first time. The projection screen was engaged, showing a myriad of trees and greenery that was previously filmed all around Colorado Springs.

The four teammates weren't dressed as they might have been if on an actual mission. Instead, each wore tee shirts that were black and showed off their physical assets nicely. They were short-sleeved, though their arms were covered by their biker jackets. All wore ragged blue jeans that were tightly adjusted to their bodies. Black boots were on their feet with black baseball caps on the heads of Jack and Sam, while Daniel wore a black boonie. Each sported a backpack, though truth be told, nothing much was in them, making them much lighter than the backpacks the team actually had when on missions.

In addition, Jack wore a brown wig to more accurately represent his look at the time of the story and Teal'c had on a flesh colored scalp piece that made him appear to be bald, as he was at the time of this mission. Daniel also wore a wig, one that took him back to the longer, shaggy hair he had in the early years of the Stargate Program.

For weapons, the team had rubber knifes, water guns and rifles (something the family agreed on using for the special production), and encounter bats hung on their sides like swords. Teal'c also had a unique weapon which was essentially a long stick with a plastic blaster at the end. It looked very fake, which was the intention.

Plenty of rocks and forested debris were present across the stage. It was designed to look as if some ancient building once stood there.

"What a mess," Daniel observed.

"This temple was destroyed long ago," Teal'c stated.

"Let's get a move on before we meet somebody who remembers why," Jack suggested strongly before leading the team away from the site.

In reality, the four simply walked around the stage a couple of times, the projection screen showing a change in background as they did so. At the same time, Ricky and Jenny covertly removed the debris and rocks from the first scene. Now, the screen displayed an open field and the stage clear of anything except for a large pad of fake grass.

"There's no signs of human life," Daniel commented.

Teal'c put forth, "This could be some forbidden zone."

Urged on by Little Danny, Bijou, Katie, and Gili (the Shanahan's dog) all began barking.

"Wait, I hear something," Sam alerted the others. "It sounds like ... dogs."

The actors on stage disappeared behind a curtain while the projection screen played footage shot previously at Pike's Peak. The dogs were shown running across the field, chasing a young man. The man was actually the son of Jahindi Malone, a good friend of Jeff's. Age fourteen, Cliff Malone was participating in a Jackson-O'Neill program for the very first time and was playing a character a few years older than he actually was, something that was easy to imagine since he was taller than average and actually looked more mature than many other teenagers of his age.

Still behind the curtain, Sam warned, "Sir, locals."

"Yeah, I see that, Carter," Jack responded dryly. "Stand by for transition."

A loud sizzling sound was heard, like meat cooking in too much oil on a stove. There was a loud bang and then the sound stopped.

Meanwhile, the audience continued to watch as the film showed the dogs chasing down Cliff, who fell onto the field. He scampered about, as if trying to protect himself from attacking dogs, who tugged on his clothing. Of course, the audience had no idea that all types of meaty sauces and small treats were on the boy's clothing and hidden from the view of the audience. Suddenly, a gun was heard as a few shots were fired, and the dogs hurried away.

Then the projection shifted from filmed action to simply background, and the team emerged from behind the curtain, only it wasn't exactly the same team as was seen previously.

"You okay?" Jonny asked, causing the audience to laugh.

The laughter was because the guests realized that the team of Jack, Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c were now replaced by Jonny, Little Danny, Aislinn, and Cliff Oliver. The Olivers were African-American and since the kids felt he would be a good miniature Teal'c, they asked thirteen-year-old Cliff to play the part. Being the same age as the Munchkins, Cliff fit in with them nicely. The boy, who had attended several of the family's presentations over the years, was happy to have a more active role in one of them now. Teal'c coached him in using his deepest voice and in portraying an honorable warrior.

The miniature team was dressed exactly as their older counterparts and they had the same weapons as well.

"Yes, I am. Thanks be to you, but forgive me. I am Abu of the Shavadai," Cliff Malone introduced.

As the planetary being, Cliff wore a massive scarf-like turban around his head. He even had on a long wig that included a ponytail. His pants were orange in hue and the deel, or calf-length tunic, he wore was a golden tan. To the boy, it reminded him of the colorful and unusual outfits his father sometimes wore in real life.

"Shavadai?" Little Danny questioned.

"The People of the Steppe," Cliff replied.

"Well ... hello! I'm, uh, Daniel Jackson. This is ..." Little Danny began, staring at his brother blankly.

"Jack," Jonny answered.

"Jack," Little Danny repeated.

"You are not ... from the people of the river," Cliff as Abu spoke.

"We're ... we're travelers from very far away," Little Danny responded.

"The Sea of Ogada?"

"Sure," Jonny acknowledged with a tiny shrug.

"Never have we met anyone from that far away. You will be doubly welcome in my father's camp."

Little Danny introduced his other teammates to the local, just as Cliff Oliver as Teal'c advised that the dogs were gone.

"For now," Aislinn stated as she portrayed her Aunt Sam.

The young girl even looked the part as she sported a short-haired blonde wig.

"Is this a woman?" Cliff Malone as Abu whispered to Jonny as Jack.

"Oh, yeah," Jonny answered.

The local stared at Aislinn as Sam to the point that it unnerved her.

"Do I have something growing out of my nose, or ..." Aislinn asked nervously.

"He looks really upset. It must be some sort of cultural thing," Little Danny suggested to his teammate.

Aislinn attempted to stand in front of Cliff Malone as Abu, but he turned his face away and held up his hands as a shield.

"No! I cannot look at you."

"Okay, now I'm hurt," Aislinn as Sam whined.

The projection screen switched to prior footage taken at Pike's Peak. It showed three riders approaching on horseback. They were hostile and prepared to take out the explorers. Only then a fourth rider appeared and ordered the others away. Footage now presented the three riders in waiting as a man stepped forward from the rear of the rec room. Watchers needed to assume his horse was off stage. The actors playing the first three riders were Jeff, Peter Hamilton, and Jerry Portman, one of Jonny's good friends in the neighborhood.

The man was, in reality, Jahindi Malone, the adoptive father of Cliff Malone who was portraying Abu. Appropriately, the newest character was Moughal, the father of Abu. He wore a long-haired blond wig, partially covered by a tan fur cap. He had a fur vest over his deel. In character, Jahindi walked with a limp on his right side to indicate a stiffened leg and used a cane with his left hand.

A confrontation ensued when the father discovered a woman was present. As that was happening, Little Danny whispered to Jack that he believed the inhabitants were Mongols.

Finally, things settled down slightly as Jahindi as Moughal said, "My son. When you did not return, I feared you were dead."

"I would be in a dog's stomach now, but for these," Cliff Malone as Abu asserted.

There was more reaction to the presence of Aislinn as Sam, and it wasn't good.

"Father, they come from the Sea of Ogada; they do not know our ways," Cliff put forward.

"Law is law," Jahindi negated. "What manner of weapon is that?" he asked Jonny about the water gun that was completely foreign to him.

Aislinn, however, piped up with, "It's a firearm. It shoots like your bow shoots an arrow."

"She speaks, she dies. Sut," Jahindi ordered harshly.

Cliff held out his hands, barring his father from moving forward as he begged, "No! No! She saved my life."

"If a women ... saved a life, hers cannot be taken. Now, you're my guests. If you will travel this country, you must learn our ways."

"I'm thinking we should just go back while we're ahead," Aislinn suggested to the team.

"If we learn their customs, we'll be okay. It's an incredible opportunity to study an ancient culture up close," Little Danny as Daniel refuted.

"Fine. We stay," Jonny as Jack told the team.

Again, the projection screen changed as the actors walked in place in front of the images, which showed them going from the field to Abu's village. The locals were pleased to see Abu return. There were cheers and smiles, and many approached the young man to welcome him home. As in prior images, the filming was done at Pike's Peak with a conglomeration of Jackson-O'Neill associates, most of whom were unaware of how their acting would contribute to the play, but all of whom followed the instructions of the family in acting out their parts. Participants included Brianna, Ricky, Alex Dennison, Pete Shanahan, neighbors Ben and Joan Iverson, Casey Hemmings, Steven Watkins (one of the SGC personnel), and Danny Hopkins Jenkins who flew out from Baltimore to participate in the event and was present in the audience. Egyptian Yazid Awad and some of his friends were a surprise addition on the day of the filming, flying in just to participate in a few hours of filming. They helped to provide a more ethnic look to the villagers, something Yazid offered to do after learning about the theme of the play from his wife, Megan. Both were also among the guests this evening.

The team were told to go inside a tent and wait for Moughal. The tent was actually offstage and to the right. The flap was kept open so everyone could see inside clearly and was actually much larger than a normal tent would have, again making it easier for guests to view.

"This is unbelievable," Little Danny as Daniel noted. "Uh, the Mongols who settled on the Persian China adapted to the local customs, but there was one tribe, the Chagatai, that kept the traditional life of the Steppe-nomad. Maybe these Shavadai are their descendants. I mean ... uh ... this camp could literally belong to Genghis Khan. It's a living exhibit of a way of life that's been extinct for ... nine hundred years."

There was no follow up conversation since Jahindi as Moughal entered at that point and explained, "Among our people, it is death for a woman to show her face in public."

"Or to wear the clothes of a man," Cliff Malone as Abu elaborated.

"The old laws weigh heavily; it is well you saved Abu from the dogs. It gave me a way to prevent your death."

"Uh, thank you for that," Aislinn as Sam interjected.

"Soon, the old laws ... ah ... the old ways will no longer serve us. Trade will one day replace war. This is the future. We have strongest, fastest horses and camels. The finest wool ..." Jahindi spoke.

Cliff interjected, "And medicines. Drugs of unheard of power."

"Oh, we've got some pretty swell drugs of our own," Jonny as his dad replied.

Shortly thereafter, Cliff Malone as Abu was about to escort Aislinn off stage to show her some of the medicines being discussed when Jahindi stopped them and advised the girl, "I'm afraid ... you cannot go until you are properly attired."

"Properly attired?" Aislinn queried in some confusion.

Little Danny told his sister, "Um, you should probably do what they want. Um, anthropologists do it all the time. They ... dress and live as the people they're studying."

"I'm not an anthropologist."

With a grin, Jonny as Jack corrected, "You are today."

====

Aislinn was taken to a courtyard where the space was separated by hanging cloths that could easily be pushed aside to see whatever was happening outside of the area.

This set was up on the stage, quietly arranged by Jeff, Chenoa, Chely Tillison Jackson-O'Neill, and Calvin Miller (son of John and Mitzi Miller and David's best friend) while the action in the tent took place.

The women in the main area of the courtyard worked on chores with their faces uncovered. Some of them approached Aislinn as Sam with great curiosity. Play newcomers Bibreanay Appleton and Grace Lapierre (mother of Carrie Lapierre, Little Danny's girlfriend) were among those who played the women.

Meanwhile, Cliff Malone as Abu took the rest of the team to see the medicines. He showed them the shoulder of another villager who was injured in a battle. The pain from the wound ceased as soon as treatment was begun.

"This could be an anesthetic we haven't seen before," Little Danny suggested.

"We should take some back and test it," Jonny agreed.

The group walked through the village and returned to the tent where they expected Aislinn as Sam to be waiting. They stopped in their tracks upon seeing her.

"Holy Buckets," Jonny expressed with vigor.

"Uh ... yeah," Little Danny agreed.

"Daniel, find me an anthropologist that dresses like this and I will eat this headdress," Aislinn expressed unhappily.

No longer in her uniform, Aislinn wore a bright blue patterned dress with low cleavage. That is, as low as the actress's dad would allow. A long white sash hung down the middle of the front of the dress, but what truly stood out was the beaded headdress that wrapped all along her face and hair. It featured coral, pearl, and mother pearl in its decor of the hair holder with crystals hanging down over the forehead. It also had a white, silk veil hanging to the side. The veil was long and covered the back of her head and went down beyond her shoulders.

"I'm going to kill you," Aislinn said as Jonny smirked, Little Danny stood with his mouth agape, and Cliff Oliver as Teal'c simply cocked his head as he looked over the young girl with an expression of appreciation, something Teal'c also coached him on in rehearsals.

"You are ... the most beautiful women I have ever seen," Cliff Malone as Abu opined before he walked off stage.

"Uh, I guess the kid doesn't get out much. Look, uh," Aislinn continued, picking up the veil, "I will not wear this thing over my face. I don't care how much embroidery it has on it; and this ... dress, or whatever it's called, I mean ... I can't move, I can't walk ... "

"I don't know," Jonny negated, shaking his head as he smirked. "It ... it kind of works for me. I, uh ..."

"It's, it's you, it's ..." Little Danny began.

" ... you," Jonny said.

On the next beat, Little Danny completed, "Definitely you."

Aislinn put her hands on her hips and glared at the brothers, but her argument was thwarted when Little Danny told her about the medicine and that they were taking some home with them.

"All things considered ... Samantha ... if we have to come back here, it might be a better idea if we brought an all male team. No offense," Jonny as Jack stated.

"Well, in view of the fact that you all get to go to this party tonight and I get to stay in this ... yurt that smells like rancid yak butter, none taken. I'll just get a good night's sleep and hope for better luck next time," Aislinn replied.

The team began to head out with Little Danny letting out a blow kiss with his hand towards Aislinn, who rolled her eyes in response as Daniel and the others left her alone in the tent.

Aislinn as Sam let out an audible sigh as she sat down, something that took a bit of work as she moved the dress around.

"Look, I have nothing against dresses, but we're on a mission here, and this thing is dang ... gaudy." She leaned forward, putting her face in her hands as her elbows rested on her thighs. "If they aren't going to let me fight like the woman I am, I'd rather be home, playing with my doll collection. You can do a lot with a Major Matt Mason doll."

The girl groaned and fell lightly over to her side, placing her hands as a pillow for her face. She closed her eyes, as if going to sleep.

On screen in a dream-like sequence, a Major Matt Mason doll was shown having a good time with a blonde-headed Barbie while other dolls looked on. This section, a last minute addition to the play, was filmed days before in the Jackson-O'Neill backyard and choreographed by Aislinn and Jenny, owners of an extensive doll collection.

====

With the actors off stage, the projection screen switched to show the day turn into night and then the sunrise of a new day.

The sunrise was taped at the Garden of the Gods by Jack and Daniel, who opted to make the occasion a romantic getaway, even if it only lasted only one morning.

Little Danny as Daniel was shown in filmed footage entering a tent, calling out for his teammate, and subsequently discovering that Aislinn as Sam was missing.

Another scene followed that depicted Aislinn with Cliff Malone as Abu, who told her that her beauty would get him something he thought he could never have: Nya, the daughter of Turghan, who was another chieftain.

The projection shifted to background video only as some of the actors returned to the stage.

"Any sign?" Jonny as Jack questioned.

"No. No one's seen her since last night," Little Danny answered.

Jonny responded, "All right, find Teal'c, I want everybody geared up and ready to move out in fifteen minutes."

"Well ... Okay, let me talk to Moughal first. This might be another misunderstanding, cultural differences."

"To heck with culture. A member of my team has been neutralized. That's a hostile act."

"How is it that you always come up with the worst-case scenario?"

"I practice."

Cliff Oliver as Teal'c and Jahindi as Moughal entered the tent at that point and reported fresh hoof prints were found leading out of the camp. From the prints, Moughal realized one of the horses belonged to his son as the hooves were splayed and young Abu was not in the camp.

Jahindi as Moughal advised the team that, "Among the Shavadai, women are valued highly for trade. Foreign women, most of all."

Film ran with images of the team preparing to move out in search of Aislinn as Sam.

Next, Cliff Malone as Abu brought Aislinn as Sam with him to the camp of Turghan, chieftain of the Toughai, otherwise known as the People of the Forest. Playing Turghan was David, who was also dressed in Mongol-like attire. Cliff offered Aislinn to the chieftain.

Turghan as played by David was fascinated by Aislinn as he observed, "Her skin is very fair and her eyes are the color of blue river stones."

"How sweet," Aislinn as Sam mocked.

"Silence!" David as Turghan warned in a frightening tone.

Cliff Malone as Abu wanted to sell Aislinn for Nya, but Turghan refused, saying, "She will marry a chieftain, the desert warlord, Chimakka."

That would happen in just three days when the next full moon appeared in the sky.

The sell didn't go well as Turghan essentially forced the buy by giving Cliff ten special marbles, that included four blue aggies, two Alleys made of alabaster, three clouds, and one End of Day marble.

Aislinn wasn't happy with being sold, especially for a bunch of marbles, and she argued with the chieftain, upsetting him even more.

Staring Aislinn as Sam down, the chieftain warned in David's most menacing voice, "Here, a woman does not speak, unless she is spoken to. I am man, king of all."

"Stick it in your ear, King Whiny One," Aislinn as Sam retorted.

"You will lose your voice if you speak again."

Aislinn as Sam sighed, opting not to chance a run-in at this point in time.

====

There was a pause as the scene shifted to the woods, where the team along with Moughal were trailing Abu and Sam.

Little Danny began a discussion with Moughal, saying, "We heard ... stories about Shavadai women, that once they were free. Some were even warriors, fought with their husband in battles." He looked at Jonny and explained, "Um ... Mongol women might have been the legendary Amazons ..."

"Shhh," Jahindi as Moughal interrupted. "We do not speak of it. The laws for women were made to protect and hide them from the demons, who brought us to this place."

"Demons?" Cliff Oliver as Teal'c questioned.

"It is only in legend, and long time ago; in the dawn of our time."

"If the demons are gone, why have not the laws been changed?"

"Some say they will return. I think it is an excuse for my men to have their way. Among the Shavadai, even the lowliest man is chief among his women."

Little Danny as Daniel asked, "Is that why you only have one wife? To ... set a kind of example?"

"My people see it as a weakness."

"Because you love her?" the miniature archaeologist surmised.

Jahindi as Moughal smiled his response, the expression of love clearly on his face.

"Yeah, that's love," Little Danny noted. "It's a good thing. I can say that from personal experience." He chuckled and looked off to the side, speaking out of character to the audience. "Well, actually, I might know, but I'm saying as yet, <he looked over for a second at Carrie Lapierre who was off stage>, and back then Daddy was ..." The teen laughed. "Well, I don't think I should say anything."

The audience was amused, some understanding about the then-budding relationship of Jack and Daniel, though both were still married to women at the time of the mission, and others being clueless about the chronology of the era.

Moughal responded, "One day, we will not be ashamed of love, but much change must come first."

"Maybe you just need to say it, that you love her. If you do, others will follow."

"Perhaps ... one day."

====

Aislinn as Sam continued to irritate David as Turghan, alleging she was a lousy cook and couldn't sew to save her life. She asserted the chieftain made a bad deal.

s"You lost your marbles for nothing," Aislinn put forward smugly.

Turghan's irritation grew when Aislinn as Sam insisted she was a warrior and a scholar who does the work of men.

"I could beat you in battle with my eyes closed," the girl claimed confidently. "I am a warrior," she maintained proudly.

Turghan spat, "A warrior. Let me tell you what I do." He leaned in close and powerfully spoke, "I raid the camps of my enemies. I gather up their wooden toys and burn them for all to see. I tear down their tents and take their belongings for mine. I pull the hair of the women and cut it off. For this, I am feared, and because of that fear, I have the allegiance of twenty-two tribes."

"But you have to sell your daughter off to make it twenty-three?" Aislinn challenged, not the least bit fearful of the chieftain.

"How would you like to have your hair cut completely off, to be one-hundred percent bald, a total disgrace to womanhood?"

Aislinn let out a huge breath, aware she needed to back down from the strong leader. To give herself more time to escape, she acquiesced.

"I'm sorry; I'm sure you know what's best for her." Aislinn looked at the audience and broke through the fourth wall of entertainment. "We all know that was a lie, right? This guy wouldn't know what was best for a woman if he had a hundred examples. He really needs to go."

"The spirits have brought you here to teach you how to be a woman," David as Turghan insisted.

"In a pig's eye," Aislinn as Sam spat. She let out a sarcastic squeal, imitating the sound of a pig that wants free of its situation. "That would be you."

"Silence!" David as Turghan ordered and then swatted his hand over the girl's face, though he never actually made contact.

Aislinn turned her head to the side and raised one of her hands to soothe her supposedly hit face.

The quick scene was made possible by some coaching by a friend of Jeff's who did a lot of work in community productions. The two met back in high school when Jeff learned about production from working on school plays. Now his friend was able to coach David and Aislinn on how to fake slaps and the appropriate response to make it look real. It was all a matter of timing and trust. The siblings spent a lot of time getting the slap down pat, wanting it to feel authentic to the audience.

"Beast! You are not a man if you hit a woman. You are just a beast." The girl saw the chieftain raise his hand again and challenged, "Go ahead. Show the world the falseness of your being."

Turghan let out a massive grunt, turned, and tossed pillows across the tent. He strutted around the tent in anger. Finally, he stopped and glared at the female.

"You try my patience."

Aislinn as Sam smiled, pleased at the response, but she said nothing, choosing to let Turghan stew in the reality of her words.

====

Aislinn's escape was shown on the projection screen, revealing that she exited the tent, stole a horse, and fled the camp. Unfortunately, her horse reared up and she fell off.

In carefully edited footage, the audience never knew that it was actually Chenoa, now fourteen, doing the riding and the fall. As an accomplished horse woman, Chenoa was better able to pull off the scene, especially since she had the assistance of long time horse owner, Adolph Granger, who allowed his stablemen to assist with the scene that was filmed on his ranch.

Aislinn was returned to the tent where Turghan threatened to harm the woman who was in charge of keeping her out of trouble. The sad thing to Aislinn as Sam was that the woman was Turghan's wife and Nya's mother. The small role was portrayed by Grace Satterfield, who mostly just had to stand around or kneel down, depending on the scene. Aislinn argued with contriteness to save the woman from being beaten. In the end, the leader backed down.

"You belong to me. You will learn your place and be obedient, or you will suffer far worse then a beating."

====

More scenes played out as the afternoon ticked forward. Aislinn as Sam was now dressed in something less spectacular than the blue gown she'd worn previously. Her outfit in day playing out was more basic and of brown and tan hues and her headdress was a simple black piece. She spoke with Nya, played by Angela Wilson, who finally agreed to be helped in trying to change the culture of her people. The next scene had the team planning their rescue, having deduced that Aislinn was at Turghan's camp.

The following scene involved Aislinn as Sam helping Nya to flee the camp by setting a fire to the area where the woman did their work. The fire was real, but enlarged via photographic programs that Jeff had. The small blaze was done with the help of a local fire department, one in which the Jackson-O'Neills befriended years earlier. They'd even donated equipment in the past, so the captain was more than willing to help the family create a safe fire for their play. In fact, he and some other members of his engine company were in the audience, visiting the Jackson-O'Neill home for the very first time.

That scene was followed by the team speaking with David as Turghan, who complained about giving up his ten marbles for Aislinn. In his world, those ten marbles were enough to buy ten women. Jonny then offered twenty marbles for Aislinn, but that wasn't accepted. The bidding grew, as did Jonny's frustration.

"Oh, for crying out loud, fifty marbles, all aggies and handmade!" Jonny offered. He saw Moughal's questioning look and assured, "We'll pay you back."

David as Turghan questioned, "Why this one? I have others younger, fit to bear many sons; enough to start your own tribe."

"She is a woman of power for our people. Not only a warrior, but a ... a shaman. She knows the spirits of our land. They will tell her when it's time to plant grain, when water will be scarce ... things like that," Little Danny as Daniel proclaimed.

David as Turghan wasn't buying the description, so Little Danny finally claimed, "Carter is our chieftain. Our people need her."

"Get out. You have nothing I want."

"Oh yeah?" Jonny asked, pulling out the water gun and squirting the leader all over his body.

"Done."

====

The next moment pictured the team and their allies leaving the camp on horseback, thanks to their stable of horses along with a couple that belonged to Mike, Sara Wilson's father. This short piece of film was shot at Mike's ranch outside of Colorado Springs where the horses belonging to the Jackson-O'Neills were boarded.

Jonny as Jack was worried what would happen when the gun ran out of water as he witnessed Turghan spraying wetness into the air around him.

Following this was a passage of time as day turned to night and when Aislinn was seen next, she was back in uniform.

As the group chatted, Aislinn as Sam told Jahindi as Moughal, "I don't blame you for what Abu did. I don't blame him either, now."

"He is suffering the madness, as I did when I was young."

Seeing confusion on Aislinn's face, Little Danny clarified, "It's what they call love."

"Ah, got it."

====

The projection screen again showed the passage of time as night turned to early morning. The team slept, except for Cliff Oliver as Teal'c who stood guard. Then the film showed Cliff Malone as Abu riding Zeus, one of the family horses, as he approached the team's location.

Back to live action, the scene evolved with Cliff as Abu pleading for the team's help as Nya found the courage to leave her father's camp. The two were going to run off together, but before they could, Turghan caught them. He planned to exile her, taking away all of her possessions and leaving her to live with squirrels.

"Curse me for the madness. Better to have left her to marry Chimakka," Cliff spoke.

"I would not see anything I cared for go to Chimakka," Jahindi as Moughal admitted.

"Can I get a little clarification here?" Jonny as Jack requested. "Her own father ordered her banished to a life with squirrels. Is that right?"

"Because she broke the law of the land," Cliff Malone as Abu affirmed. "No toys; no headdresses."

"That doesn't sound like a loss to me," Aislinn as Sam confessed.

"Headdresses are a sign of womanhood and femininity. They are highly sought after," Jahindi as Moughal stated.

"By the women?" Aislinn asked, adding more pointedly, "Or by the men?"

Moughal responded, "Turghan is compelled to uphold the law, even more if it applies to his own. He must rule by example."

"Nya will lose her mind in the land of the squirrels," Cliff as Abu claimed.

"Sir, we have to go back, now," Aislinn proclaimed.

"Negative," Jonny replied.

"She can't be more than sixteen or seventeen," Aislinn put forth.

"Captain, if we go in there and try and get that little girl out, we could be starting a war on this planet."

"Since when are you a politician, Colonel?"

"Easy, Captain," Jonny warned with an appropriate stare.

"De Opresso Liber: to free from oppression - Special Forces motto," Aislinn argued with force.

Little Danny interjected, "Technically, in Latin, it means from being an oppressed man to being a free one." He saw the stares directed at him and nonchalantly added, "I was just saying."

"I know what it is. That's our world, this is theirs," Jonny stated.

"Do we have the right to interfere with their customs or ... reinterpret their laws?" Little Danny asked.

"Yes!" Aislinn exclaimed. "Maybe you guys aren't getting this, but they're about to banish this teenage girl to live with squirrels simply for being in love with this boy."

"Please, use your weapons, and free her," Cliff Malone as Abu begged.

"Yeah, yeah," Jonny whined in conflict. "We aren't supposed to visit planets and start wars," he reminded.

"Wait," Little Danny spoke. "Now there has to be another way. Moughal, what about the old laws? Isn't there something that we can ..."

With some thought, the chieftain recalled an old law that could help them. After informing the team about the law, the projection screen kicked in again, showing the team traveling to Turghan's village. Upon arrival, they saw Angela as Nya being ripped of her headdress. All of her possessions were given to others and she was about to be exiled.

Jahindi as Moughal proclaimed, "I am a chieftain, Turghan, and I challenge you."

"There is no such law to allow you to challenge me," David as Turghan argued.

"There is. In the song of Arkhan-tyr. The spirits will strengthen the hand of the just," Jahindi as Moughal spoke.

Turghan refused to fight Moughal because the other chieftain was crippled in a battle years ago that left his right leg injured. Seeing no other option, Aislinn spoke up.

"Then I challenge you," Aislinn as Sam stated fiercely.

"You? You plague me."

"Then fight. Here's your chance to shut me up once and for all."

"I will abide by the wisdom of the spirits. Let them decide justly," David as Turghan called out for all to hear.

Aislinn as Sam faced off against David as Turghan. They did some light hand jabbing and a few rolls on the ground, all carefully choreographed by Teal'c. The two wrestled, but again, it was all meticulously staged. Every kick, push, shove, and jab was planned so neither participant was actually hurt. Finally, Aislinn kicked David to the stage floor. She jumped up, took away his weapons, and stood with her right foot on his chest.

"You're done, Turghan. I am woman. Hear me roar," Aislinn proudly announced. "I'm also a warrior and you're about to go join the squirrels yourself."

"Carter, do not send him to the squirrels," Angela as Nya pleaded.

"Yeah, um, well ... what do think, Sir?"

"Make him admit you're a warrior and say Nya is free," Jonny suggested.

"I'll go for that," Aislinn agreed. "So, tough guy, I want to hear it from you. Tell me about Nya."

Reluctantly, Turghan stated, "She's free to go."

"And the Shavadai?" Aislinn prodded.

"By law, there can be no war between us."

"And me?" Aislinn waited for a response. "Look, you overgrown excuse for a chieftain, it's not too late for you to lose all your toys and end up battling the squirrels for nuts. I repeat. And me?"

"You have won. You are also free to go," David as Turghan groused in frustration.

"Thank you," Aislinn as Sam said, removing her foot from the man's chest and backing away.

The projection screen went into main focus, showing the group leaving Turghan's camp and arriving back at Moughal's village. The people were overjoyed to see everyone return safely. They celebrated with a midday feast that was filmed at a production party in a local park and then it was time for the time to depart. The action on stage took over.

"You will not stay for the wedding?" Moughal asked.

"Ah, a six day wedding. You know, we really should get back," Jonny answered.

"It is a joyous time!" Cliff Malone as Abu stated.

"But we all wish you and Nya many years of happiness, and many sons too," Little Danny put forth. He felt a poke in his ribs, courtesy of Aislinn's elbow. "And daughters!" he added with a smile.

Then Jahindi as Moughal shouted, "All Shavadai, be free!"

The projection screen showed the villagers shouting and clapping as the females removed their veils. For the first time, they were bare faced while in public. The smiles were huge. The film extras included a variety of women, few of whom knew why they were doing what they were, but simply agreed to help out the family for the play. They all wore costumes appropriate for the story that were put together by Jennifer, Chenoa, and Sophia Valissi Hammond. The performers included Sara Wilson, Janet Fraiser, Megan Awad, Karissa Lewis, Sunny Dennison, Tootie Oliver, Carrie Lapierre, Chloe Payne who was one of Chenoa's good friends, Dora King, Chely, and even Jennifer's visiting best friend, Sheila, and another high school friend of theirs, Amber Nelson, who came to town at the same time as Sheila so that the trio could have their first reunion in years.

"It is how you will be remembered, Carter," Moughal informed happily.

"Let's move out," Jonny ordered.

"Goodbye," Aislinn said with a pleased nod.

With the assistance of the projection screen, it appeared the team departed the village and were walking towards the Gate.

"Uh, Jack ..." Little Danny called out, looking down at his body and emitting a look of, 'have you forgotten something'?

"Oh, yeah. Stand by for transition maxification," Jonny as Jack warned.

Jonny pressed a button and the sizzling sound began as the team disappeared behind a curtain. The sizzling grew louder until it popped and then stopped.

Appearing around the curtain once again were Jack, Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c. They walked in place as they supposedly traversed the green field in front of the Gate.

"So, you think this new anesthesia will be a new miracle drug on Earth?" Sam asked.

"Well, if it is, I bet somebody else will get the credit. We can never say where it came from," Daniel reminded.

"Dang. Guess I'm going to have to cancel that Oprah interview," Jack quipped.

"What is an Oprah?" Teal'c questioned.

"An institution," Jack answered. "Don't worry, Big Guy. I'll tell you all about Oprah back on Earth. Daniel, activate the Gate."

Daniel made a bunch of broad movements with his hands and actually did nothing, but call out, "WasherGate, spin already!"

The noise of a washing machine was amplified through the stereo system as the WasherGate seemed to agitate.

"We have spin," Sam called out.

"Okay, kids, let's go home," Jack ordered as he walked into the crate that was decorated to be a washer.

"Welcome back, TP-1," Hammond greeted from off-stage.

"Thank you, Sir. We brought back a nice new medicine."

"Excellent," the unseen Hammond replied over the microphone.

"Sir, can't we do something about our unit designation," Sam called out. "I mean TP-1? It sounds like toilet paper."

"What would you suggest? Washer Unit 1?"

"How about WG as a designation?" Daniel suggested.

"I don't know," Jack sighed. "Hey, how about SG-1?"

"What does the SG stand for?" Daniel inquired.

Jack pursed his lips and then shrugged as he offered, "Simpson Guys?"

"Gawd, you and that TV show," Daniel sighed.

"Hey, it's better than toilet paper."

Daniel stared with widened eyes, shook his head, and began to walk off stage. Sam followed, letting out a small displeased grunt, while Teal'c simply cocked his head and moved forward.

"It was just a thought."

The curtain went down and the lights went on to indicate the end of the performance. The audience stood, clapping and laughing both.

The actors returned to the stage as the curtain raised. They held hands and bowed and then Aislinn took center stage. The dogs, too, were present and received a healthy round of applause for their roles in the production.

"We hope you enjoyed our fantasy play for the night. I guess you could say we have wild imaginations. I mean, a WasherGate? Too funny, right?"

There were plenty of double meaning chuckles.

"Help yourselves to refreshments. We'll be right with you after we change out of our costumes."

More applause and then the audience began to move towards the hospitality room for food and drink.

Backstage, the family laughed as they shed their costumes for their true looks.

"That was a blast," David spoke. "Sis, well done with the battle."

"You, too, Bro. We did good!" the Munchkin exclaimed, high-fiving her brother.

"That was insane," Daniel quietly said to his husband.

"So insane that it's science fiction, Danny; at least to them," Jack said, nodding over towards where the guests were situated.

"You hope."

Jack just shrugged and gave his lover a short, sweet kiss.

The rest of the evening was a big party that included all types of speculation about where the idea for the play came from. Some knew the truth of the play and others were simply amused by it. The best part for the family where the glints and gleams in the eyes of those in the know.

====

With the kids all in bed for the night, Jack and Daniel relaxed on their roof deck, both leaning back against the wall as they looked upward at the stars while enjoying a beer.

"That was one crazy mission," Jack recalled. "I thought Carter was going to explode when she was forced to wear that blue dress."

"It looked good on her," Daniel opined.

"You know that; I know that; and I think even Teal'c knows that." Jack glanced over at his Love and added, "But I don't think she knew that."

"She was, uh, very military back then."

"Yep, she was."

"We never went back," Daniel sighed. "I would have liked to see how Moughal and his people evolved. He was actually very forward thinking."

"Yeah, he was open to change," Jack agreed. "I doubt that Detergent guy is happy, though."

Daniel snickered and corrected, "Turghan, and I think you're probably right about that, but the woman's movement began and my guess is he's had to go along with it."

"Marbles," the older man mused.

The younger man chuckled, too, as he thought of the switch from gold to marbles in the play.

"Whose idea was that again?" Jack asked.

"Um, I don't remember," Daniel replied, but then he licked his lips, took a swig of beer and added, "Actually, it was yours, Babe."

Jack laughed without saying anything.

"WasherGate: sheer genius," Jack said a minute later.

"As long as the spin cycle works," Daniel laughed.

"Lulu came up with a lulu with that idea."

"She sure did," the archaeologist agreed. "Crazy play for a crazy mission."

"It worked. You have to admit it worked," Jack proclaimed.

The parents were proud of their children who were mostly responsible for the variations in the story from fact to fiction. They all knew the real truth and how their aunt's life was truly at stake, but they didn't feel the story needed to include the grimness, thus the changes from any reference to death or more nasty deeds, all of which were replaced by more lighthearted elements such as the land of the squirrels and destroying wood toys.

"But it was all your fault," Daniel accused.

"All I did was tell the kids a story."

"And make it enticing."

"Good stories don't need much."

"I've never understood why you told them stories about our missions."

"Because ... they were there, in my mind. A little change here, an alteration there, and wham bam, story time."

"And for most families, that would be that," Daniel agreed, "but our family knows the truth and wham bam, they want to know more, and they get to know more, thanks to your big mouth and Sam's reaction anytime that outfit is mentioned."

Jack just laughed, well aware Daniel's words were the absolute truth. Still, he found it amusing and he knew his soulmate did, too.

Jack and Daniel continued to chat, enjoying their leisurely time together. They were very proud of their children and their imaginations. After all, they'd done their jobs well in taking an actual mission and turning it into a fun fantasy, and for the Jackson-O'Neills of Colorado Springs, having fun was one of the most important things in a happy life, which they definitely had.

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~

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